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The deadline for our sons secondary school application is tomorrow

(12 Posts)
Cojmum Thu 30-Oct-14 10:10:17

I am desperate to home educate, OH doesn't agree. How do we solve this? It would go against everything I feel would be best for him if I make the application.
Our son has Aspergers, he struggles socially and thought of him being in a school with over one thousand pupils terrifies me. I am hoping to get him into the Wey Ecademy if it goes ahead.
I have written down what I plan to do, I have the Galore Park books out on the table, I have researched educational trips, he already has a piano teacher in school but she does teach out of school hours too so he could stay with her. I am a member of the local home ed group on fb who have lots of meet ups and outings. I feel he is dismissing home ed without even having read up or researched it at all.
I am going to talk to him again tonight, but would it be terrible of me to not do the application if we can't reach an agreement?

Lancelottie Thu 30-Oct-14 10:11:55

You don't have anything to lose by making the application. It simply gives you a backup option, and another 9 months or so to decide whether you really can home educate.

Muskey Thu 30-Oct-14 10:13:58

Good luck I hope it works out for you. As lancelottie has suggested treat it as a back up plan

saintsandpoets Thu 30-Oct-14 10:16:25

Make the application to stall the decision. He doesn't have to go.

NorwaySpruce Thu 30-Oct-14 10:19:57

We are banking on Wye Academy too. Doesn't look hopeful though, as they are not ready in time for this year application deadline.

I'd put in the application, then if you decide to go down the school route, you at least stand a chance of getting your first preference. If you don't apply for schools now, you could end up at the 'school of last resort'.

I'm worried that if Wye Ecademy get funding, they will be overwhelmed by applicants from military families/SEN pupils, so there will be little chance of a place anyway. We can't afford £2000+ for InterHigh.

Home ed. is an option at any point though.

Pooka Thu 30-Oct-14 10:20:18

Make the application. It buys you and your dh time to try and come up with a plan that you actually agree on.

ToffeeWhirl Thu 30-Oct-14 15:16:36

Yes, good advice to send in the application anyway.

My son has Aspergers too. He went to a large comprehensive for secondary (1150 pupils) and, in spite of being placed in a small class for children with SNs, he couldn't cope at all. It was disastrous, frankly, and his anxiety went haywire afterwards. I home educated him for about a year, which worked very well, then he had a burst of confidence and decided to go back to his old school. Disaster and a retriggering of extreme anxiety all over again. I know it's only one case and there are probably children with AS who can cope with secondary, but your reservations suggest you know your son is one of the ones who won't cope.

Could your DH come along to some of the home-ed meet-ups or meet a local home educator? It sounds as if he doesn't quite 'get' home ed and how it works, which is how most of us start out. My husband had reservations too, at first, but he's come round completely (and we're actually home educating our younger son too, now).

What does your son want, by the way?

AGnu Thu 30-Oct-14 15:23:36

Could you ask around the local HEers & find someone who uses a similar method to your plan & invite them round for dinner? My DH was hesitant about HE until he got chatting to some HEers & now I think he's more enthusiastic than me! grin

Cojmum Thu 30-Oct-14 15:34:03

Good idea to apply anyway. My son wants to be home educated.

theposterformallyknownas Thu 30-Oct-14 16:05:27

I think you should apply as well, you can always turn the place down.
Says me, who also hasn't applied.
FWIW OP my ds2 has Aspergers but was a very late diagnosis, too late to save him from the effects of attending school. It can be completely the wrong environment for some dc and I so wish we had known about H.ed when he was little.

Just a thought, I have heard that lots of H.ed dc manage fine with a parent and a few good workbooks for all the key stages and that much more isn't really essential. I know you can buy expensive programmes and fun websites but they can have as much fun learning in other ways that are less expensive.

As far as your dh goes, just keep informing him of facts in a "do you know" way and eventually he will take on board what you are saying.
My dh asked if I'd lost my marbles when I was considering it for dd, soon after we started it was amazing how quickly he was saying it was the best decision WE had made grin

Cojmum Thu 30-Oct-14 16:38:20

We've had a little breakthrough, I showed him the books and my list of educational trips and social groups and he's said he wants me to apply for the place and he'll look into it more. Yay!

Cojmum Thu 30-Oct-14 16:39:20

Sorry wasn't very clear he'll look into HE a little bit more.

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