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Interested in Home Ed but DH absolutely against it

(11 Posts)
Stinkle Thu 26-Jun-14 12:24:57

Can anyone recommend some good websites or simple books I can show him.

DD2, with ASD, is currently in year 4.

She enjoys her school and copes fine, but is very behind academically and needs a lot of help - her main problem is that she has no working memory whatsoever so nothing ever sticks.

We are very lucky with our school in that they provide brilliant support and a lot of intervention so she's doing OK.

However, I am concerned about secondary school - she is very anxious about change, crowds, etc so I'm not sure how well she'll cope with constantly changing classrooms and teachers, our secondaries are all large 1500+ pupils and SEN provision is not great so there wouldn't be anywhere near the level of support she currently gets. I'm just not sure she'll cope in secondary in general to be honest - DD1 is already at our local secondary and while she loves it and is thriving, I really don't think it would suit DD2, and the others in the local area aren't any better.

I've been toying with the idea of HE when she leaves primary, looked into it and came up with some ideas and floated it to DH, who is completely against the idea.

We've got a couple of years before we really have to worry about this and anything could change in the meantime, but I would like to have a think about it and discuss it sensibly so we can work out if it's feasible/affordable and if not, what other options are there out there.

DH is very anti, but I don't think he's coming at it from an informed point of view - basically he "knows someone who is HE and their handwriting is terrible" sort of arguments, which IMO isn't a good enough reason to completely dismiss the idea without finding out more about it.

He's not a big reader, big books would be totally out of the question, but are there any facts, websites, kind of bulletted information sheets out there that I could show him?


Swanhildapirouetting Thu 26-Jun-14 12:48:38

Is she on SAplus? Most secondaries have to put in place some sort of proper adjustments for a child with SNs, and often they have more resources to commit than primaries.

Are you also thinking of getting her statemented? People advised me to do this in Year 4/5 and I paid no attention, as school was helpful and supportive, AND I have to say, the secondary has been very supportive too. HOWEVER, it is true that with a statement you have far more clout as to the nuts and bolts of their provision in secondary.

My experience of secondary so far for ds2 has been very good - he has HFA/Asperger's and is behind academically for his IQ (reading and writing erratic). The reasons to home educate might not be that school is terrible, unbearable, impossible, but that home education might just get your child off to a much better start, and then you can send them back to secondary if you so wish! Whereas the longer you leave it the more difficult it is to undo any damage ifysim to their confidence, literacy skills.

Anyway, as I haven't home educated yet, I am not best placed to answer your question, but I did want to reassure you that Secondary can be less of a shock than you imagine if the transition is properly managed. Ds2 loves all his teachers and comes home with a smile on his face, but hates homework and gets a bit stressed by some of the people, sometimes. I suppose you have to weigh up the different aspects, but it is certainly not all a horrendous experience. They become more independent in lots of ways and that side of school can appeal.

Swanhildapirouetting Thu 26-Jun-14 12:50:36

I'm still hoping to home ed though!!! It does feel daunting though, as ds2 has such strong opinions.

Stinkle Thu 26-Jun-14 13:04:49


No, she's not statemented yet. It's work in very slow progress

She's on SA+ and has an IEP, but her main problem is lack of working memory, so they put her into an intervention group, she seems to progress but at soon as that intervention drops away we're back to square 1.

We've are very lucky with her primary in that they are giving her exactly what she needs without the statement being in place.

We are hoping she'll get it in time for secondary, and even if she doesn't, all sorts of things could change in the meantime, HE is an option that I don't just want to dismiss on the basis of terrible handwriting.

I have discovered there's a massive HE network here, vast majority are children with SEN not coping with mainstream secondary school so I think there is a serious problem with secondary school SEN provision in this area.

Stinkle Thu 26-Jun-14 13:13:53

Yes, it is a bit daunting - what if I mess it up?

I've had a good look into it and found the online school, a massive HE network here, I can buy in the curriculum and stuff like that so I feel a whole lot more confident about it.

I was considering years 7 - 9, then back into school for GCSE years so she'll be a couple of years older and more mature and hopefully a better able to cope with it, although we'll see how it goes

She's summer born so one of the youngest in her year, and quite emotionally immature.

But in 2 years time? Who knows? grin

Saracen Fri 27-Jun-14 00:55:54

Join in with that massive local network.

If your dh's perception of home education is based on the one home educated kid he has met, introduce him to some more! The stories their parents tell of how home education has been for their own children may be very persuasive, especially if some of those children have similarities to his own child.

CrabbyBlossomBottom Sun 29-Jun-14 16:27:31

My DD is starting here in September

It might be more acceptable to your DH and worth considering as a compromise?

Stinkle Mon 30-Jun-14 13:12:27


Saracen, unfortunately to join the network there's a annual subscription which he's less than enthusiastic about paying. I have arranged to meet up with another HE family (friend of a friend) for a chat next weekend though

Crabby. Thanks, I've found that one, and the Wey Ecademy which I've shown him, and he did concede that it was more structured than he thought

Hopefully he's a bit more open to the idea

heatstrike032 Wed 24-May-17 08:30:18

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Velvetbee Wed 24-May-17 22:56:22

My eldest was HE to 16. He has terrible handwriting but fortunately the universities he's applied to don't seem bothered!

bebanjo Sun 28-May-17 22:12:06

Most home ed groups are on Facebook, these should be free to join.
You don't need to pay a subscription to find fellow home edders.

If your DH knows someone that was home ed and has bad hand writing, how many people does he know that have bad hand writing and went to school?

How many schools are failing?
I believe that 25% of school children also have a private tutor, why does your DH think parents are paying for that?

I could go on but it would turn into a rant.

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