Home Ed for DD (year 6) for six months - don't know what to do!!

[time4chocolate]

Hi All - I need some guidance on what is best to do for my DD. She is currently year 6 and has been at same primary school since reception. She has a wide circle of friends which she has gone through school with and she seems quite popular. However, she has struggled academically all through and half way through year 5 was diagnosed as having Auditory Processing Disorder (APD). Since starting in year 6 She has changed from happy and bubbly to slightly withdrawn, really not keeping up in class as gap has got too big, not wanting to go to school, started biting her nails, low confidence/self esteem - it is horrible to see. I don't want her to be like this when she is about to start secondary school. Have obviously been in regular contact with current Primary but not much being done to help. I have given her the option to Home Ed but she just gets really upset at the idea of leaving her friends. How much do I take on board her wishes/concerns about leaving friends with my wishes which is to Home Ed for 6 months until Secondary (which she is looking forward to). Any advice gratefully received.

[ReallyTired]

I think that if your daughter wants to stay at school you should respect her wishes. Most children find year 6 hell because of the pressure of SATs, school transfer and the early stages of puberty.

Home ed is just running away from the problem of keeping up with school. It is not long until your daughter leaves primary and if she leaves now then she would miss all the fun after SATs.

[moobaloo]

If she wants to stay I wouldn't make her leave to be honest...

Can you try and discuss the situation at school with her, find out if there's another reason for her low self esteem other than worries about 'not keeping up'? Reassure her that SATS are not important (they are more for schools to check their teaching progress and do not have any impact on kids secondary school life) and make sure she is not feeling pressured as much as poss.

Keep the home schooled option open to her, it may be a comfort that she has your support if it gets too much, but really there isn't much more of year 6 left and personally I hated year 6 and LOVED year 7! It then went downhill and I left school in year 9 after 2 miserable years.

So... Yes I wouldn't take her out against her will, but keep it very open to her for the future if it becomes what she wants. In the meantime try to find out what else is going on at school

Xx

[HSMMaCM]

I agree with leaving her at school as long as she wants to be there. She may be happier now she knows it's her choice.

[claraschu]

My daughter wasn't enjoying year six, so we HEd for 6 weeks, then she rejoined her class in a much better mood, and had a great end of the year.

Children only know what they have experienced, I think. If your daughter is showing all those signs of unhappiness, she might just be clinging to school because it is the norm for her. She can't really imagine another life. She might be hugely relieved if you de-register, (and she could always return to school if HE isn't working for you.

[time4chocolate]

Thanks Ladies for your advice - it's a difficult one as she is at an age where obviously I need to take into account her wishes and that is important but, also be aware that being 10 she finds is difficult to see the bigger picture/possible advantages and would rather stick with what she knows rather than change. I am siding with leaving her be at school as there are one or two things on the horizon at school after the dreaded SATS which I know she will enjoy but will be giving it some further thought and taking into account what what you have all posted. Thank you.

[RockinHippy]

I agree with taking her lead on it.

I'm in a very similar situation with my own DD at the moment, though for different reasons as in she's excelled all through school, but is such a perfectionist the stress of SATs, escalating health problems due to hormones kicking in & a "difficult" new teacher are literally crushing her spirit & self esteem & making her yet more ill :(

Last term she was kind of where your daughter is now, though her friendship circle has decreased over this last year as I suppose as the eldest, she's kind if out grown a lot of them, but she wanted to be in school to be with her smaller group of friends.

Its got so bad this term that we are now removing her from school, SHE has had enough & friends or not she hates it & wants out - may be transferring to another local school - if we get in, which isn't under the added SATs pressure her current one is & is known to better with her disability, but it looks like for at least next term I am now H.E

We've arranged that she meets with some of her friends regularly after school, meet up in the library, or for an after school swim etc, that seems to have helped her be more at peace with it.

Might that work with your own DD??