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Would I just be fighting a lose battle?

(14 Posts)
PennyCooper Thu 06-Feb-14 21:34:54

I've always dreamed of home educating my dd but I'm wondering if I would have too many hurdles to overcome to do it.

These include:
Lone parent (current in receipt of income support)
Only child
Can't drive
Live in a small town
Lack of family support locally (one parent lives locally, runs a nursery and is pushing me towards dd beginning there soon. Hates the idea of HE. Other parent would be supportive but lives 200 miles away!)
History of MH issues (OCD and depression but these are currently under control)

In the long run, I would also need to balance work with HE so childcare would be a problem too. One option is moving to live near my other parent as dd reaches school age as they would help out as much as possible with childcare but I worry that would damage dd as she sees a lot of the local parent.

The other main worry is socialising. When she's older, I could scrimp money together for rainbows, dance classes etc but there's not much going on for toddlers around here except sure start and two church run groups. It doesn't seem a lot of interaction really.

Can I have some honest opinions on whether it's a lost cause? I'm feeling pretty sad about it because I've been offered two year old funding and looking around the preschools and nurseries has just made me realise how much I want to try HE.

What makes you want to HE?

PennyCooper Thu 06-Feb-14 21:45:01

I want dd to have a more child led education really. I've worked in schools and I don't really like how one size fits all it seems to be. After the lessons, there'd be so many children who seemed bewildered like they hadn't learned anything and the disruption from some children seemed to slow everything down big time. I like the idea of education being tailored to suit dd and for it to be more of a discovery for her than a "this is this now write three sentences" day after day type thing.

PennyCooper Thu 06-Feb-14 21:47:31

(Doh, just noticed my title fail too. "Losing" battle blush )

KatherinaMinola Thu 06-Feb-14 21:48:28

Your child's two. You don't need to worry about it now. Presumably you have two years until you need to apply for Reception class? See how it goes and make a decision when she's 3.5.

bebanjo Thu 06-Feb-14 22:14:14

What part of the uk are you in?

PennyCooper Thu 06-Feb-14 22:25:33

I'm worrying about it now because I'm under a lot of pressure from my mum to sign dd up for the nursery/preschool she runs. It's got me thinking and wondering whether I need to give in to the whole school thing now or whether there is hope I could do HE. It was playing on my mind so I thought I'd post about it and see whether it would be a lost cause if my situation stays the same. I just wanted some opinions on if it was doable or not really. I know I don't have to decide now but I thought it would be okay to ask now.

I'm in the northwest of England. Cheshire/merseyside area smile

PennyCooper Thu 06-Feb-14 22:26:25

Oops, that reads back a bit snotty! I just meant, it was on my mind because of my mums pushing and pushing so thought I'd put feelers out and see if it was possible smile

InvaderZim Thu 06-Feb-14 23:08:45

Entering your child in nursery does not exclude them from being HE'd. Nursery is a different beast and doesn't really have the problems you highlighted. It would give you longer to consider.

Saracen Thu 06-Feb-14 23:53:57

And likewise keeping your child out of nursery right now, if that is what you feel is best for her, would not prevent her going to school later.

I am a big believer in looking to what the child needs in this moment and not overthinking the future. Home ed may turn out to be easier or more difficult in a few years' time, or it may become clear to you that it is essential to home educate (or to use school) for your child's happiness. You can make that decision closer to the time.

...if it isn't too nosy of me, are things generally OK between you and your mum, or is the current disagreement a symptom of her generally being unhelpful? Thing is, you mention your daughter potentially missing your mum if you were to move closer to your other parent, but you didn't say anything about it being hard on you to be separated from your mum... Regardless of the home ed situation, if you would feel happier and better supported overall if you lived elsewhere, then it may be wise to consider moving away.

PennyCooper Fri 07-Feb-14 12:29:09

I don't think I've written the OP very well but I was just trying to see if it would be possible or it people with experience thought the above scenario was a lost cause. I know I don't have to decide now and that's not what I'm doing. I just wondered if all those things combined would be too much of a barrier for me to HE and for dd to get a good HE experience.

Things are generally okay with my mum usually but atm it's all going a bit odd. I can't afford to move at the moment but I do think that will be the plan in the future.

Velma67 Fri 07-Feb-14 13:04:57

Have you tried making connections with your local home ed groups?
There is a thread on how to go about this further down the home-ed page. It might help if you are able to find out what is going on locally and how many home educators there are in the area, and whether they are kindred spirits or weirdos you would run a mile from. It might help with some of your questions, like whether there are people to socialise with and whether you can meet people without needing a car.

KatherinaMinola Fri 07-Feb-14 13:19:50

I did wonder about pressure from your mum and whether that was connected in any way to your own MH issues (don't want to pry - just something to think about). I'd think very carefully about signing your dc up for your mum's nursery. If you do go down the nursery route then think about whether another nursery might be better.

But what I'm saying is that you don't need to "give in to the whole school thing now" (or ever). You can even apply for nursery or school places and then decide not to take them up when the time comes. You do have time to decide so, as Saracen says, see what you think your child needs now and plan the rest as it happens.

Also, see what you can change in your current situation, if you think HE might be an option down the line. I guess you can't afford to learn to drive, but can you make an effort to make new friends, join some groups and build a support network?

bebanjo Fri 07-Feb-14 16:43:12

Any one that wants to home ed can, there is no reason to think you would fail.
Quick google finds your local council has a good home ed page with the law. Also you have a local yahoo group.
Join it find out what's on in your area.
Best of luck.

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