Page 2 | Adults who were home schooled talk to me please

(55 Posts)
Nigglenaggle Mon 27-Jan-14 19:32:19

What did you like and dislike about it? If you later went back to school was that hard? Do you feel you would have done better or worse in life at school? Would you do the same for your children? Trying to decide what to do for ours smile

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curlew Sat 01-Feb-14 00:18:04

I don't think I had any difficulty with the parent/teacher split- but I suppose I had never been to school, so I didn't know what a pupil/teacher relationship was like.

whitefonia Sat 01-Feb-14 22:35:28

My sister was home educated in later teenage years. Perhaps different because she was bullied and had three traumatic attempts to return her to the school. She was relieved and thankful for home ed.
She also managed to gain her qualifications with very little input from our parents, who both worked full time, and is now a primary teacher herself. She said she would definitely home educate her own child.

curlew Sun 02-Feb-14 09:56:21

Bumping this thread (hope you don't mind, OP!) hoping for more comments. Very interesting!

Nigglenaggle Sun 02-Feb-14 16:43:40

Not at all, keep it coming it's all very interesting smile

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Nigglenaggle Sun 02-Feb-14 16:47:47

I wasn't home schooled myself. I wasn't desperately unhappy at school, but I think I would have liked staying at home more. It's good to hear opinions good and bad from those who've experienced it. I get that the social side is really important, but if we get on with our local groups, shouldn't be an issue... But it's good to be aware of other things that may go wrong /be a problem.

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sedgieloo Sun 02-Feb-14 20:32:06

I have just come back to add that I definitely would HE my own children. They are toddlers so I am yet to make a firm decision. That is to say we have every intention to HE at some point, I think the benefits can be huge.

The main issues for me are having sufficient opportunity for group work for both the enjoyment and the benefit of developing collaborative skills. That could be HE groups, clubs, sports and other community activities. I did miss group work when HE, just because of my personality, that's something I really enjoy. I imagine my oldest to be much the same, I think she is the kind of child that would love school but there is every chance we will not apply for a place, because I am becoming ever doubtful that school can compete (educationally) with what I think we could provide them with. Yes the social aspect is a concern but I think it can be overcome with some effort (for us at least we are in a city with plenty going on). IME do think that HE kids who haven't been to school can have a tendency to stand out from the crowd so that nags away at me a little. It is a path which deviates from the norm, the grown ups I know they are very much 'individuals' (I can't think how to explain that further!) I guess that's part of what can happen when not receiving a 'standardised' education and constant peer pressure, and it's an unusual thing to do and somewhat unpopular it would seem (I'm not sure why, but I get odd reactions when I mention we are considering it). So if ours don't go to primary I think they will be doing loads in the community and will be far from isolated or lonely. All the best with your consideration and decision. Do come back to update!

sedgieloo Sun 02-Feb-14 20:43:05

Nigglenaggle you asked about going back to school and I think yes a potential problem... If you haven't experienced school before it could be quite a shock. If a child hasn't spent lots of time with kids of their age, that could be difficult for them, just relating and fitting in.

I know there are those who will say different but speaking from experience, there was a period of adjustment for me after a few yrs at home. It was ok given time but tough to start. Also I wasn't behind in any way, quite the opposite but teacher friends have commented that HE kids coming back into school can struggle and are often 'behind'. I don't know about that but if you think that it's something you might do for just a while, personally I think it would be good to know what level they would be expected to be at in formal school (literacy, numeracy particularly) to make sure that wouldn't be an additional hurdle.

MirandaWest Sun 02-Feb-14 20:56:24

I was taught at home for a year. It was because I didn't get a place in the secondary school my mum and dad wanted me to go to (and that my dad taught at). My mum (who was also a teacher) taught me and we had a formal timetable.

I went back to school after a year when a space became available. Not being at school was not good for my social development (I kept doing groups with friends from primary school but it wasn't the same at all). When I rejoined school there were some people from my old school in my new class - when the teacher asked who knew me and would look after me everyone looked away which felt rather rubbish sad

Eventually made new friends but the academic progress I made not at school didn't make up for the feeling of realising I lost out on other things. Part of me still wonders what would have happened if I had gone to the other secondary school in my town.

curlew Mon 03-Feb-14 13:54:40

I went to school for 6th form. I was fine academically, but struggled at first socially. I also found it hard to deal with deadlines and the end of lessons and changing to a different subject. I found producing work to a deadline hard indeed, and still found it hard all through university and in my first job.mi'm still not brilliant at it, to be honest! I discovered too late how much I liked playing team games. I remember being delighted by there being people to talk to who were just there and I didn't have to do anything to make that happen. I didn't really know about casual acquaintances- what my dd calls her outer circle. I had lots of friends- an inner circle. But no outer circle and I really liked having one.Once I understood the social etiquette of it.

Nigglenaggle Mon 03-Feb-14 19:10:56

Hmm lots to think about... Curlew I would say that I had those same struggles at school though despite being institutionalised! I do get what you mean about the outer circle though, a bit like how I feel about my colleagues now maybe. BUT my colleagues are much nicer people than some of the toe rags I went to school with and 6th form was by far the best bit of school for me - everyone was a bit more mature and less horrid to each other.

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Nigglenaggle Mon 03-Feb-14 19:12:23

I do worry about making them stand out more than they need to...

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sedgieloo Mon 03-Feb-14 21:35:16

Niggle - funnily enough I met someone today who asked what school my kids will go to so I mentioned to this person I was considering HE, because I was and I have a positive view of it. I am quite interested to get a strangers response. They replied that they had an HE friend now a lawyer. I found myself asking if they were quirky (this is obviously in my mind!) 'oh yes definitely quirky a REAL individual, but he is happily married and earning tons of money, what does that matter'

morethanpotatoprints Mon 03-Feb-14 21:41:00

I don't worry about dd standing out, but she has always done anyway.
Being alternative, unconventional isn't a bad thing.
If you are thinking positively about H.ed then you are unconventional anyway and chances are your children will be open minded too.

In the past year I have seen dds confidence grow in her individual sense. She is sort of at ease with it more. School was very good and supportive but she really stood out tbh. Although, she was never unhappy at school.

curlew Mon 03-Feb-14 22:10:22

I think the trouble is that however unconventional and quirky you are, you have no idea what your children are going to be like. And while there is nothing wrong with being unconventional and quirky, there is also nothing wrong with being conventional either!

sedgieloo Mon 03-Feb-14 22:28:43

I'm trying to think why HE may make a person stand out from the crowd. Maybe it's more that an individual's personality is affected (squashed? Moulded? crushed?) by a standardised education and constant peer pressure. Maybe there is more freedom for them to be themselves if HE, enjoying (one would hope) learning and growing up in a nurturing supportive accepting and loving environment. I don't know that I would have a problem with it so long as they understand and can be conventional and fit in with others as required by society and communicate effectively etc.

Do you know what...I'm gonna HE!

curlew Mon 03-Feb-14 23:36:04

You stand out from the crowd of other children by not being at school. Not saying that's a bad thing- it isn't. But it makes you different and some kids hate that. And that needs to be taken into consideration.

Oh and enough already with the squashed, moulded, crushed stuff.. This thread has managed to avoid that crap so far-can we try and keep it that way?

JustGettingOnWithIt Tue 04-Feb-14 10:48:23

Sedgieloo I would suggest that good H.E. produces children who stand out, exactly the same way good independent schools produce children who stand out.
It isn’t because they went to X school, or aren’t from a school, it’s because of what that educational process has done for them.

Going to uni open days and offers days, you can pretty accurately pick most (not all) independent school candidates and state school candidates out from each other. They often (not always) have different sets of visible qualities on display.

curlew Tue 04-Feb-14 11:03:00

"Going to uni open days and offers days, you can pretty accurately pick most (not all) independent school candidates and state school candidates out from each other. They often (not always) have different sets of visible qualities on display."

Wow. Just wow. I won't say anything else because I don't want to hijack this interesting thread about home education, but I couldn't let that hideous statement go unnoted.v.

JustGettingOnWithIt Tue 04-Feb-14 11:29:48

Curlew I'm genuinely sorry if you find it offensive which I assume you do? Why do you find it hideous? shock I didn't suggest one set was better or lesser than the other, far from it, just that it's noticible.
For what it's worth uni staff pick up on it too, it gets mentioned in ds written feedback from two.

curlew Tue 04-Feb-14 12:01:45

" I didn't suggest one set was better or lesser than the other,"

No? So your previous sentence about good HE and good independent schools producing "children who stand out" does not imply that they standing out because they are better than the majority?

Did the "written feedback" say "he stood out- he obviously went to a private school"?

But as I said, not for this thread.

AngelaDaviesHair Tue 04-Feb-14 12:01:52

It would be a shame if the thread degenerates into stereo-typing after all the thought-provoking and constructive posts. And anyway, the putative 'visual' differences between state and independent school pupils is not relevant to the issues the OP is asking about.

curlew Tue 04-Feb-14 12:02:50

You're right, Angela, and I'm sorry for my part of that. I won't rise again.

JustGettingOnWithIt Tue 04-Feb-14 12:26:20

I am terribly sorry that I've offended. blush

Curlew it wasn't meant to imply that at all. It was meant to be about different educational processes resulting in a focus on different (not better or worse) things, but clearly the way I've put it has implied something different from what I meant, to others, and I'm sorry, that wasn't meant at all.

For what it's worth the written feedback was clearly meant to be positive reference to it by one, and clearly meant to be negative by the other. As it was all so open and discussed at the offer day, I didn't know it was wrong.

I'm self educated, not home ed, don't understand some nuances, or some sensitivities in the English education system, and clearly shouldn't be trying to communicate on these boards. I'm genuinely sorry for any unhappiness I've inadvertantly caused.

AngelaDaviesHair Tue 04-Feb-14 13:10:06

That's ok Just. No need to leave. Lurk in Education and you'll see how these things can really kick off!

Nigglenaggle Tue 04-Feb-14 20:16:20

I'm going to pretend that the last few posts didn't happen if that's OK wink I guess the problem is that none of us know which bits of us are nature and which are nurture, and don't know how we would have turned out if things had been different.
I guess the answer for us will likely be (if we find we get along well with the local home ed groups) to try home ed for a couple of years and then give our eldest the opportunity to try school for a year if that's what he wants...At least then he might not feel he's missing out... Some good points made here though about structure and deadlines - I'm sure it's possible to learn to cope with both without going to school but it's not something I would have necessarily thought about...

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