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Any ideas/experience? I am totally convinced that he would give our children the best childhood we could offer, but dh not

(12 Posts)
painttheworld Sun 22-Sep-13 17:34:36

sadly, this is in the context of general marriage problems, often to do wifh very different goals and values.
I have become much more confident in my own perspective this year, and have been researching and reflecting on he. I have supported schooling at his request, and my 7 yr old is happy enpigh, my 5 yd old not so much.
I am so frustrated at what schoolibg does to pur overall qualify of life i am tired of waiting to give it a chance.
What would you do?

morethanpotatoprints Sun 22-Sep-13 19:49:59

Hello OP.

This was me and my dh, who asked if I'd lost my marbles when I suggested it.
If he is like my dh he will like facts, research etc.
I don't mean it has to be empirical but just that you have done your homework.
Take some quotes out of books and keep dropping bits about H.ed into a conversation.
I think in the end I wore him down, then he decided to listen and agreed that we would try.
We are now into our second year and whilst we have ups and downs wouldn't go back.
I think its once the oh sees the potential and the gains and huge difference it can make to a child life.
I hope this helps a bit.
Good luck

Tinlegs Sun 22-Sep-13 19:52:44

Are you a qualified teacher? If not,perhaps getting some experience or doing a lot of reading about it might make him more inclined to trust you to teach them, particularly as they get older and require more specialist input. Also, it sounds as if you want to do it for you, not because of the children.

morethanpotatoprints Sun 22-Sep-13 20:01:26

You don't need to be a qualified teacher and H.ed is not about teaching children in the conventional way.
I think it is good that you have strong convictions about how school affects children. It doesn't suit all dc and education shouldn't be and isn't a one size fits all.

Tinlegs Sun 22-Sep-13 20:53:45

I don't think you need to be a qualified teacher but the question was about how to convince a partner and, surely, being on top of it by reading widely and being very well informed would help? Also, it clearly being n the best interests of the children, not just one parent would help.

ommmward Sun 22-Sep-13 21:28:54

Ha ha if you want to be well informed about home education, then teaching experience in a school setting is the very last thing you want to acquire. They are completely different things - I take my.hat off to teachers. They often have amazing skills at engaging a large and diverse group of children in top down tasks in which a fraction of the children might be interested. And crowd control is absolutely key. Neither of those things is particularly relevant to home ed, which can be genuinely child led.

Tinlegs Sun 22-Sep-13 21:55:24

I said reading widely and becoming well informed. I didn't say you had to actually go into school, become a teacher or any of those things. Will bow out HomeEd people, take over. (However, whatever way you educate your children, being well informed about it is hardly controversial).

morethanpotatoprints Sun 22-Sep-13 21:55:53

To true Ommward

I am qualified to teach in FE not even children and it has taken me ages to get teacher led education out of our home. grin
I think the only positive aspect, but this wasn't really necessary is the ability to look at various types of learning and relate it to the curriculum. Which dd doesn't consciously follow anyway.

painttheworld Sun 22-Sep-13 21:56:02

Thank you all. I want to do it for my children and because i want to have more time with them-i don't see that as being about me in the way i assume you may mean.
More than, how long did it take for dh to agree? What did your children think?

morethanpotatoprints Sun 22-Sep-13 22:00:11


Sorry, but the OP said that she had researched and I also advised her to read more around the subject. Nobody has said this isn't a good idea.
I also think she has thought about the welfare of her dc as the youngest age 5 isn't happy at school.

morethanpotatoprints Sun 22-Sep-13 22:10:31

Hello Paint

Ok, I had the light bulb experience as I call it, just before the Easter hols. Then I convinced myself that H.ed wasn't something to be taken seriously and it was something that strange hippy type of people did, not us.
It came about because dd asked if she had to go to school as she was knackered after so many concerts, competitions, shows etc. I said yes, come on get ready lets go etc. It was on the way back from school I had the light bulb.
So I started researching and here was really where I learned most, I wasn't on Mnet until then, but it was a google listing.
Well, I read and kept dripping to dh, who eventually took the bait and started but what about .... I made sure I had a response, an answer to his worries and concerns. He started to come round bit by bit and we mentioned it to dd after the hols, so he must have agreed by then. We told her it was her decision and she was to ask questions and take her time etc. There was no issue at school and she was very happy, so it was paramount to make sure she wanted it, not only us. She decided a few weeks before the end of term and we deregistered before the summer hols. We are now into the second year.
Our other children are a lot older 22 and 18, both went all through school. I am sad that ds2 wasn't H.ed as he had problems and I seriously regret this.

bebanjo Sat 19-Oct-13 20:02:48

So how's it going OP?

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