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Why on earth home educate??

(101 Posts)
plainjayne123 Mon 19-Nov-12 12:02:33

I am an extremely bright (top first from Oxford, PhD, post-doc, research career etc) person and I push my children to acheive their most at school etc, but I cannot see any reason why anyone would choose to home educate. I would go so far as to say it's selfish to keep your child at home and inflict upon them your idea of what they should learn and become. Hope to get some good reasons!

FlamingoBingo Tue 20-Nov-12 19:04:12

Hello lovely, Ommmward smile How are you?

SDeuchars Tue 20-Nov-12 21:05:40

In case anyone needs more reasons to home educate, see this thread about attendance letters in AIBU.

Not having a school deal with me as if I were a naughty child seems a very good reason to home educate.

take3 Tue 20-Nov-12 21:53:50

plainjayne123 - I think your question is a really good one. Just because you cannot see any reason why anyone would choose to home educate, it doesn't mean there aren't any good reasons - it just means you can't see them (as you said yourself). So, I am left wondering whether your post is sincere... but, giving you the benefit of the doubt is what I will do.

Here goes... some reasons why we home educate our confident, bright children who have no educational issues or special needs, neither have they had any bad experiences in school.

- Children are made to live in families... they need to and who says that age 4 is the right age for them to leave the family for most of their waking hours.

- Children need to be educated and this is best done with an education that is suited and catering to their needs. No teacher, however outstanding, can meet the needs of 30 individual children in their class.

- Children need to be nurtured and loved. Parents, most of the time, do this best. No teacher can love like a parent can. No teacher has the time to teach children through difficult situations in the playground and give them the scaffolding they need to learn to cope alone. Yes, many will learn to cope but that does not mean it has been taught in the best way.

- Children need to learn social skills and the home is the best place for this. School can help with social skills, but it cannot teach them alone. That is why there are hundreds of children with anti-social behaviour in school - and school is not and will not solve them.

- Children need to be taught how to function as a member of society and where is the best place to learn this... no, not sitting in the kitchen all day being taught by mummy...and not sitting in the classroom all day being taught in a group of 30 children of the same age. The best place is OUT there in society. Home educated children can chat with the elderly lonely lady in the park... they can chat to the shopkeeper and have time to do so... they can ask for a library book when there is time to have a conversation... they can learn to function in society by spending lots of time there.

- Children need to learn to read.... as a very super bright person, you will understand the importance of the written word... but children need to learn in their own time... for ours, this was age 3-4. They have time to read at home, plenty of time. They have time, at home, to research using books... and not just using the computer or watching something on the interactive whiteboard. They have plenty of time to enjoy reading alone.... to enjoy listening to stories, whilst developing essential language skills. TV does not and cannot do this and screens are being used more and more in schools to teach children. The written word is often neglected in school, but not at home.

I could go on...... and on... but that is enough for now.

sieglinde Wed 21-Nov-12 09:12:15

Hi, ommmward. Lovely to meet you too. Yes, it does. Not nosey; but does yours? (thinks of Eastern mysticism).

I'm finding this thread very heartwarming; thanks for starting it, jayne.

Agree also with a lot of what take3 said, and would add that even if your children are at school parents still end up doing a lot. Thinking about my own children and reading, and the hours working through the Oxford Reading Tree... we don't regard this as homeschooling, but if no homeschooling goes on the school itself often tends to fail. Same with e.g. music, going to museums etc.

My dd currently has a shorter schoolday than her friends at a real and v. expensive and regimented private school, but does one extra language - because she wants to - and also does a number of personal project things, including a blog and chicken care. She is also ahead of them in both maths and English. The aheadness doesn't matter much to me or to her in itself, but I mention it because I know some people worry that HE will ruin children's chances. My point is that without things like assembly and lining up for lunch, there is more fruitful use of time for learning AND for leisure.

Also very warmly agree with take3 about the overuse of TV and indeed computers in schools. I remember a v. expensive and posh school library where ALL the children were ignoring the books to crouch over computers used as games consoles, EVERY time I visited.

plainjayne123 Wed 21-Nov-12 09:27:21

great answer, by far best reasons I've heard so far.

flussymummy Wed 21-Nov-12 11:25:51

Take3- thank you- that's a great post and I wholeheartedly agree. There's nothing we enjoy more than a trip to a museum, library or shop during the week and I'm always astonished at how much the dynamic changes at weekends and during holiday periods.

take3 Wed 21-Nov-12 16:43:56

seiglinde, I agree that parents end up doing a lot of home help, even when the children are at school - that really just shows that teachers can't cater for all the needs of the children in their class. I have friends who do reading and writing with their children every day after school - when their children are so tired and just want to have fun in a relaxed family environment.

sieglinde Wed 21-Nov-12 17:22:49

exactly what led me to HE, take3. In HE, things like Kumon become much more practicable than they are when you are pushing an unhappy and tired child through them. I think many parents don't realise that HE is in this sense not much more time-consuming than the school run plus extra stuff.

ommmward Wed 21-Nov-12 18:43:11

Hello lovely flamingo. How are you lady?

<shameless hijack>

FlamingoBingo Thu 22-Nov-12 08:10:14

I am good, thank you smile is your mobile number the same? Going to text you x

seeker Thu 22-Nov-12 09:56:43

Am a bit hmm at the idea that HE is a good because it leaves more time for Kumon.............

Lancelottie Thu 22-Nov-12 10:14:36

Interesting! I think I send mine to school because I'm not very socially adept myself, so it's best for them to have some other yardstick by which to measure normality.

After 10 years of 'good' to 'outstanding' schools, DS1 still hadn't learnt any noticeable amount of maths and had to be taught it at home over a very stressful holiday, so his maths GCSE is, effectively, homeschooled. Is that 'inflicting our ideas of what he should learn'? Well, yes. We thought he should know some maths...

Most schools rely very heavily on parental input, and some schools can let a child down very badly despite this input. I can see why a confident parent with the right working setup might want to give them a miss.

ommmward Thu 22-Nov-12 10:34:05

Yes, flamingo, mobile number still the same. I've lost yours in a phone change six month ago, though smile

musicposy Sat 24-Nov-12 23:57:18

Well, I tool DD2 out of school because she wasn't coping well/ enjoying it etc. So you could maybe see why.

However, DD1 came out because she saw the fun her sister was having. No other reason except to have fun.

She was home educated because she had an amazing time with loads of fun and amazing opportunities she couldn't get at school. This month alone DD2 has been on an archaelogy day, to a talk and workshop at the local recycling plant, behind the scenes at our cinema operating the equipment and is going to the Royal Institute next week for a class on extracting DNA. This is on top of all her regular drama, dance, skating, singing, piano, science club, astronomy society etc etc.

Home ed gave DD1 loads of time to concentrate on her music, dancing, skating, and theatre classes. It gave her loads of time to have fun with friends. Children in school are in lessons most of the time, not having genuine social time. It gave her loads of time to relax and chill out. It gave her time to follow her own interests.

In September DD1 went to college to do A levels. What we hadn't prepared for was the huge amount she's had to sacrifice to do this. However, she did it because it was her choice and I believe in children thinking for themselves and making their own decisions.

The colleges were falling over themselves to take her. She is top of all her A level classes and has been marked as "outstanding" in all her assessments to date. She is popular, happy and thriving. Teachers comment on how she thinks for herself and goes off and finds answers instead of waiting to be spoon fed. They said she is working more like a much more mature university student. Home education has been the most amazing success story for her.

My question would not be why would you home educate. My question is, if you really want to give your child every opportunity, why wouldn't you?

sashh Mon 26-Nov-12 05:03:37

But reasons like the above are not enough to prevent children from being at school, and all the fun and experiences they have there.

And if those experiences are bullying, being humiliated daily and there is ablsoloutly no fun. Would you still send them?

What about a child who spends a lot of time in hospital? Or a child who has a real tallent in music, art, maths that cannot be catered for in the local school?

FlamingoBingo Mon 26-Nov-12 08:30:03

And what about preventing children from all the fun and experiences they cold have if they had more time within their family when you force them to go to school?

musicposy Mon 26-Nov-12 13:10:29

Yes, one of the things we quickly realised was that schooled children are prevented from having loads of amazing fun experiences that home ed children can access, both with family and friends. As I said, DD1 has had to sacrifice so much to go to college, way more than she had to sacrifice when she came out of school.

One of the things DD1 is asked constantly when she says she was home educated is "What was it like?" She finds it hard to answer. She usually says, "Well, it's nothing like school, and it's not what you think it's like."

I think this is the problem. Most people maybe have an idea of what they assume home ed is like, usually sitting at a table alone being told what to do by mum or dad. And because they've never done it, most of their assumptions are wrong. Our home ed was/ is as far from that as you could possibly imagine. Schooled children get some experiences home ed children don't, but home ed children get lots of experiences that schooled children can never have.

chocolateicecream Mon 26-Nov-12 19:58:19

There can be quite a difference between being simply academic and being educated. OP you need to educate yourself.

BrittaPerry Fri 30-Nov-12 09:34:44

The only school available was Catholic, and there is no such thing as a secular school.

Dd1 was getting more and more stressed. She struggles with social situations, but has become so much more confident now she can have shorter bursts in smaller groups. The change is amazing. She is 5.

Dd1 is learning about Ancient Eygpt, to play keyboard and cornet, to cook, to tell the time, to recite poetry, to write poetry, grammar, a different culture or festival every week (with appropriate trips, food, music, art, talking to people, etc), she learns art in a free class at a university (Russell Group, if that helps...), we go to at least one museum, usually two or three, a week, where we get to look and and use whatever we like without queues and/or play with our HE friends and ask questions of the experts.

She knows how to buy a bus ticket, add up the price of simple shopping and make choices to stay in budget, return and self issue library books, cook simple meals with minimal supervision, find and identify minibeasts, ask directions in a supermarket, use google, use an encyclopaedia or dictionary, use a microscope, use a map.

She had one of her school friends around for tea last night and is going to another school birthday party on Sunday. She also does dancing, rainbows and plays in the street (when it isn't flooded...) with general local children.

In the next few weeks, we will be going with HE groups to hear the nativity story in a 900 year old cathedral, have a tour of a fire station, have a tour and activity session in a modern art museum, to a planetarium, to a science show, to a soft play centre and to a wetlands centre. Plus of course the more spontaneous meetups.

My nana needs care, and so we travel over to give my mum a break, and while we are there we meet up with friends, go to the seaside, see different museums, talk to nana about her life, learn to knit and sew, make inventions, fly kites.

We can go and visit my (teacher) sister in London, or my student sister in Sheffield. We can get cheap trains to Scotland. We can go on political demos. We can go camping at cheaper times.

No matter how good the school, it would struggle to provide all that, and poor dd was too tired after school.

JuliaScurr Fri 30-Nov-12 09:42:47

dd was an anxious, stressed out school refuser at 2 schools, so we home edded until we found a local school that could meet her needs. They cured her within 4 months. We were marked down by LEA as 'choosing' HE hmm

Djemila Tue 04-Dec-12 17:54:54

One of the reason I HE is my own experience in the past, teachers told me that I would never be able to draw or speak a foreign language (english is not my native language) and now I sell my drawings for work and live in England.

Not so selfish, am I?

crowisland Wed 13-Mar-13 22:23:56

I need urgent advice about homeschooling networks in central or north London for a teenager. Daughter: 15, but has not been in a UK school (we are relocating back) so not in GCSE curriculum.
Any advice, suggestions???

SDeuchars Wed 13-Mar-13 22:39:06

Number 1 suggestion: Don't resurrect offensive zombie threads!

I have just bumped all the standard messages for you, including the one on finding home educators.

If you want specific advice (e.g. about getting qualifications), I'd suggest starting a new thread setting out what you want to know.

RioBryden Tue 19-Mar-13 21:59:28

Message deleted by Mumsnet for breaking our Talk Guidelines. Replies may also be deleted.

Ardotalia Sun 31-Mar-13 14:59:38

I'm replying to the original post here... where to begin?

I am home educated. My Dad is a Cambridge First Class Hons graduate and scholarship boy from Kings in Macclesfield. He is a Latin and mediaeval French scholar, linguist, palaeographer, amateur archaeologist, genealogist, historian and author of several books who worked with some of (and founded others of) the best UK ancestral research companies, and yet I have never heard him describe himself in the sort of glowing terms used somewhat egotistically in your post. Perhaps this is because he really IS bright?

He chose to home educate his five children. Although he excelled academically he did not like school and he does not believe that jumping through hoops (i.e. passing exams) is really proof of intelligence or expertise. His reasons for home educating were many. He wanted his children to have the freedom to think our own thoughts, to avoid peer pressure and bullying, incarceration, inadequate or substandard teaching, State indoctrination, teaching fads and fashions that changed like the wind with every incoming Government, etc., etc. He also wanted us to be able to spend as much time as we wished on the subjects that interested us most rather than stopping and starting with bells ringing all the time.

I'm not going to start boasting about my achievements here. It might take all day. ;) I rest my case. Oh, and my two children are home educated, quite simply because it works.

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