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How to explain HEing a goth 5yo to people?

(30 Posts)
BrittaPerry Mon 15-Oct-12 07:28:20

So, we are pretty much decided on a trial of HE, at least while we wait for a place at a new school.

I know that family and friends will start blaming anything odd that DD does on HE - they have done it before, right down to when she had a six month break in nursery, after her going since five months old, and was bit geeky, it was apparently because of a lack of socialisation through her entire life hmm

Now, DD is a little 5yo goth grin - she writes 'lonely songs' and says she can't write happy ones, because she can't thinkof anything to write about (she has a very happy life - she seems to only be close friends with the girls in our street, but she gets on ok with other children, and has loads of toys and activities, as well as loads of hugs and her and dd2 bing the only grandchildren on both sides, and she definitely enjoys herself while she does things). She can have an exciting fun filled day, and decribe it as 'mostly looking at the rain'. hmm. She likes Kate Bush and loves a bit of science, especially gory pictures of organs etc, and chooses floaty black skirts to wear...

So, I know people will ask DD what she has been doing and she will describe, say, a trip to a museum as 'we looked at dead things then queued for a bus', despite having had a great day grin

And I know my family will translate THAT into 'mummy dragged me aound town and I'm not allowed to have fun'

Also, we have primary school teachers in the family - I have nothing against school, I just think HE is worth a go as I think it will suit her.

Any ideas?

TheOriginalSteamingNit Fri 30-Nov-12 21:23:46

Do five year olds work out that they are goths all on their own? shock

Anyway op you sound pretty confident in it all really, and I suspect you won't get too upset by any comments from family in the long term... Good luck, and just enjoy her.

Indith Fri 30-Nov-12 21:18:34

Oi Britta! I'm stalking you! Curry order please!

BrittaPerry Fri 30-Nov-12 21:14:09

Thanks Signy :-)

sieglinde Wed 21-Nov-12 20:13:00

Hi I am Sieglinde's goth daughter, Signy.
Of course, gloom isn't necessarily a sign of gothyness, but I think she might need some goth guidance. I would recommend Gothic Charm School and The Ultimate Goth Guide. Of course one has to do some advertising for oneself: my blog for babybats (little goths), Calling Cards and Combustibles.
In school, let her read the real Wuthering Heights for English and after that maybe Dracula. For biology, yes, dead things, and dissection. Let her write gloomy poetry if you have to but don't let her post it on the Internet.
Outside of school, if she likes dolls and toys buy her Living Dead Dolls or Vamplets. Allow her to do gothic creations and stuff.
The most likely thing is that she will grow out of her gloominess. Don't tell her this though.
Signy xxx

DartmoorMama Sat 17-Nov-12 11:33:48

To be honest I think sometimes as a home ed parent you need to put up your boundaries and tell other people to mind their own damn business.

Your dd sounds cool. I was a geeky, different kid and an introvert. I got treated like I was broken and needed fixing my entire childhood. Her quirks will likely become her strengths.

quirrelquarrel Mon 29-Oct-12 11:50:15

A five year old Kate Bush fan, I want to be her best friend and go round Whitby with her! grin

Onadietcolabreak Thu 25-Oct-12 18:03:12

Sorry, nothing practical to add, buy you DD sounds an amazing little soul [hsmilie] a mini version of my 12 year old Goth grin

Good luck with the HE,

a day looking at dead things then queuing for the bus sound like a great day out to me grin

BrittaPerry Sat 20-Oct-12 10:33:17

I should add, she 'plays' keyboard or ukelele, and puts her baby sister on drums or tambourine...

I think she would get on with your dd, Tyrannosaurus...

BrittaPerry Sat 20-Oct-12 10:30:09

' oh, when you are lonely it is very sad, everyone else has friends, you don't have any friends, but I know what you must do, you must be strong and then you will be HAPPY!'

She is working on a songbook with her 'lonely songs' in hmm

TyrannosaurusBex Sat 20-Oct-12 07:29:54

Your dd sounds like a younger version of my dd1, she is 8 and just finished her 1st half term of HE. It's going really well, she is free to pursue her fascinations (muscles at the moment) and dress like a miniature cyberpunk (Christ knows how, with a wardrobe full of Mini Boden) but she is much more upbeat and positive than she was at school. No more tuneless dirges about my wrongdoings, accompanied by her sisters on viola and drums!

sashh Wed 17-Oct-12 06:56:01

She sounds cool.

BrittaPerry Tue 16-Oct-12 12:17:32

Almost :-D

Isabella :-)

LIttleMcF Tue 16-Oct-12 11:05:21

Marianne Catherine Isobel (massive Leonard Cohen fan here).

BrittaPerry Mon 15-Oct-12 22:29:53

Her initials are M C I grin

morethanpotatoprints Mon 15-Oct-12 22:03:45

Maybe all girls go through a stage of goth, dd has asked to have her name changed to Wednesday, as she thinks she is fun. I'm not sure if she'd have considered this at school.
I think school can crush a childs spirit and discourage individuality.
The school dd went to didn't do this but didn't do much to encourage them neither.
Other schools that ds's attended certainly did, the kids were all sheep.

CheerMum Mon 15-Oct-12 15:39:15

is Grace a goth name then? cool.
i have a goth Grace (hence the knowledge of Monster High) smile

CheerMum Mon 15-Oct-12 15:36:11

as an aside...I have the perfect toy for her.....Monster High dolls!

they are kind of Barbie goes Goth

Colleger Mon 15-Oct-12 13:55:12

Sorry seeker, I don't think I can do that...


P.S. Let it wash over you!

LIttleMcF Mon 15-Oct-12 09:36:17

Your little girl sounds fab. Nancy? My absolute fave.

BrittaPerry Mon 15-Oct-12 08:54:46

Would you like her initials, or is that too much of a clue?

seeker Mon 15-Oct-12 08:53:08

I bet it's Agnes.................

seeker Mon 15-Oct-12 08:52:27

Collager- please, please can we have a thread where you don't go on about school completely crushing children's spirits and individuality? Please? It's really not helpful.

BrittaPerry Mon 15-Oct-12 08:51:38

I mean one of tge six :-)

BrittaPerry Mon 15-Oct-12 08:51:23

Seeker - one of those names is correct...

Colleger Mon 15-Oct-12 08:35:44

Loving your daughter's spirit!

But you may find after a while at home ed she may not want to act like a goth - it may be her way of expressing how she feels whilst incarcerated wink in school. If its not then spare her the grief of school peer pressure and not fitting in.

My son has been asking to have his hair dyed and a Mohican for years. When he asked the other day if he could I said yes and he was shocked. He came to me later that day and asked me to cancel the hair appointment!

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