Anyone HE'd twins?(5 Posts)
I have 18 month old twins and I'm very keen to HE - for lots of reasons. My DH is not as keen - but is keeping an open mind.
I'm able to meet all of his concerns when we discuss the pros and cons - except for the 'twin thing'. He is worried that if we HE them they will become overly dependent on each other, miss out on making individual friendships and never become whole individuals.
Does anyone have advice or, better still, experience of HE'ing twins?
My ID twin girls came out of school a year ago at 6 and half. I also have a HEd daughter who is a year older than them. They started school in the school nursery in a class together, then were seperated into different classes for reception and year 1 on the advice of their teacher... They did make individual friends and learnt to 'cope' without eachother, but to be honest I don't think they were ever truly happy apart and I think it damaged their relationship (similarly the bond between their older sister and each twin was damaged by school). They jumped at the chance to be HEd as neither of them were happy at school for various reasons...and since then all 3 girls have redeveloped a very strong bond. They still have their friendships from school - I've worked hard to maintain these, and they tend to go individually to friends houses, but I really don't think they will be damaged by being HEd'd, and I'm sure if your twins are given the usual opportunities to socialise they will make their own friends in time and not necessarily just have eachother. I think in general HEd siblings do have a strong relationship and IMO it is one of the advantages. Personally I'm keen to develop all each of my DDs individual talents/interests/friendships and we have always worked hard to not treat our twins as twins (eg never dressed them the same, encouraged different hairstyles etc) and they appreciate their own individuality too.
Sorry for rambling! Good luck with your decision (for what it's worth my DH was pretty reluctant too and still isn't convinced about HE...)
I also have id twins and one 18 months older. All HE after a3-4 years at school. All 3 are very close to each other, but I don't think they are overly dependent on each other. I think to some extent with twins you have little impact on how close or not they are, regardless of school or HE. Some are very close and dependent on each other, others are more independent.
I think as with any HE kids, try and give them opportunities to mix with others, and with all kids (twins especially) give them the chances to be individuals.
Friend of mine has ten year old twin girls who have never been to school. She has always treated them as you would any siblings, they have their own interests and their own friends, sharing some and not others. It doesn't ever seem to have been an issue :-)
You need to read Grit's day (blogspot blog). She home eds triplets - count 'em - and they most certainly each have their own identities.
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