Wondering about secondary school. Special school or home ed???

[mummyloveslucy]

Hi, my 7.6 year old daughter has recently started school, after being home educated for the last 2 years. I decided to send her, as I was finding it very hard. She has moderate learning difficulties and is incontinent of both. She is very lively and full on! I found myself not having a moment to think my own thoughts.
Anyway, she's at a lovely little primary school with a one to one all the time she's there. She's only doing mornings at the moment, but has made so many friends. She's very happy there and looks forward to going.
I find that I have so much more energy for her, when I collect her at lunch time. I enjoy her company more and I think she's enjoying mine more too.

Anyway, the ed psych assessed her in school and asked us if we've thought about secondary school and recommended a special school for children with moderate LD. She said she doesn't think Lucy could cope in a mainstream secondary. This special school also has alot of children with behavural issues and aggression. Lucy is the most gentle, loving little girl you could meet! She's also very sensitive and articulate. She has a very wide vocab for her age.
She is also a real mimic and very keen to be popular. This does worry me, that she would coppy everybodys traits. She does need good role models.
I'd love to say that I loved home ed, but in honesty, I found it exhausting and compleatly mentaly draining. I'm hoping that by 11, Lucy will have calmed down a bit and if she's learned to read and do basic maths, that will be a lot easier for me. Then it's the friendship thing. I don't drive, so find it hard getting to all the groups. There is only one girl of Lucy's age in HE that she likes to play with and she's not free to meet up that often.

I kind of with the ed psych hadn't mentioned secondary, now I have all these these worrys about her future. She said that on her statment review, they'll ask every year about secondary school.

If home ed is the best option for her, then I'll do it. I know the LA will try to talk me out of it though.

[mummyloveslucy]

bump

[Colleger]

There's no point thinking about the future. Wait until the start of Year 6 to start thinking about such things.

[mummyloveslucy]

True, I do worry quite a bit. I didn't worry about anything before my daughter was born. I guess it's because I've never cared about anything as much.

[julienoshoes]

I don't see the point in worrying now either...when she is approaching secondary age, she may well have matured more, you can look at the proposed school and reconsider HE, in the light of how things are then. You can't know now, how she will be by then.

and if you decide that HE is best then, you know you can count on support here to get the LA to back off.

[Saracen]

It's a long time away. In many ways she will be a different child.

I'm delighted to hear that Lucy is enjoying school so well and that the two of you are happy with your new arrangement!!

[mummyloveslucy]

Thanks everyone. It just worried me when the ed psych asked if we've thought about it and recommended us to go and see the special school. It was almost like she knew that Lucy's problems were very long term and there was no chance of her making enough progress.

She has so many strengths though. She is so friendly, outgoing and confident. She is also very articulate and musical. She has a way of making people feel good about themselves which is a real gift. I'm really hoping that she will make good progress accademically so that she won't be held back.

[HairyMaclary]

I would agree with the waiting, she has four years yet, but if she ends up with a statement, which is the way I think you are heading, you will need to decide when she is in Year 5 about secondary placements.

I would say though that visiting the special school now might be a good idea anyway, it would give you an idea of what it's really like and if you see a peer group for Lucy there. Bear in mind children at the school will also change over time so it won't be the same in four years but it might show you that those with behavioural issues are very well supported so not a problem for Lucy or that they have exactly the right sort of atmosphere that she will thrive in or something. It may not do, but it's always worth a look. Our ED Psych recommended the perfect school for DS, it just took me about two years to see she was right!

I am starting to visit schools now for my DS with a statement who has just started year 3. My intention is to take my time looking at a very wide range of schools now so that over time I can narrow it down to the most suitable as he develops.

Good luck and I'm glad she's settled in so well.