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changes afoot ....

(22 Posts)
nickschick Sat 29-Sep-12 20:20:18

I havent been on here for ages but definiyely need some of the famous straight talking from you lot.

Ds3 aged 12 so year 7 has been home edded since day 1.

In june he said hed like to give school a try so we applied for a place at the school his 2 older siblings had gone ....expectedly we got a refusal wed applied late and we were out of the area etc etc so I appealed ....went to the appeal on thursday stated our case and this morning a letter arrived to say that the panel had overridden school and said that ds3 should have a place there.

So ds3 is going to school .....hes apprehensive but excited and im well sad im so used to him being with me and doing 'stuff' with him that im going to miss him so badly - im being pathetic come and kick my arse.

nickschick Sat 29-Sep-12 20:38:43

please sad.

mychildrenarebarmy Sat 29-Sep-12 21:14:31

Aw nickschick. My DD has decided she wants to try secondary school (2 years away for us) and she has also been HE since day 1. Try to keep reminding yourself that you have raised a child confident enough to make the decision to go to school and be proud of yourself for fighting hard to get him to the right one.

nickschick Sat 29-Sep-12 21:35:34

ty,things just wont be the same and i am trying to be positive for him ....at least you have 2 years to get used it.....

phlebas Sat 29-Sep-12 21:42:37

same thing here - dd is 11 yo, HE since birth. Decided she wanted to try school - she didn't get into my preferred choice but still wanted to go somewhere. We applied to an oversubscribed out of area school months after the application process had finished & were told there was no way that she would get a place. We anticipated sitting on the waiting list for a couple of years .... lo & behold she got a place two days before the summer holidays started.

She loves it smile I'm adapting hmm ... still have 3 at home though wink

ThreadWatcher Sat 29-Sep-12 21:48:08

Nickschick kick kick smile
Do you think he will like school and be happy? It will be a big change having been HEd from day 1!
Assuming you think he will be happy, find friends and enjoy everything school offers I would grab the new found freedom with both hands....... you could have a job, a hobby, a tidier house, a cleaner house ummmmm! (cant think of anymore)
Alternatively he might hate it and be back home within a few weeks/months!

nickschick Sat 29-Sep-12 23:06:11

hes my last child ...we have an elderly grandad with dementia and ds2 who has significant health issues although hes making a good start at college so im being so selfish i know but my life wont change except for not having ds3 here for whom there has to be normality and routine and i just know that im going to get shit on from great heighrs from people who will expect me to do rverything and mor besides.

ThreadWatcher Sat 29-Sep-12 23:15:41

Ah sorry nickschick I didnt realise that.

My ds is likely not going to secondary school (hes got another year yet) so Im kind of lamenting the things I wont be able to do just yet!
I would though be bereft if he decided on school, so I do understand how you feel about the 'hole' in your day feeling!

Is there anything that you can do about the shit from great heights problem - that sounds rough sad A grandad with dementia and your sons problems too sounds tough.

nickschick Sat 29-Sep-12 23:36:42

threadwatcher i think im just feeling sorry for myself .... i simply hadnt anticipated feeling like this and just thought it would be ok ...now i realise how much we do actually do together and kind of feel unwanted(obviously he doesntkow this)not a lot i can do about the shit on from great heights thing unfortunately ....ds1 made me smile he said im home all day on thursdays this year so you can do stuff with me (hes 19 and a law student lol) ....im just gonna have to get my head around it ...arent i?.

ThreadWatcher Sat 29-Sep-12 23:46:00

I think its ok to feel sorry for yourself sometimes - it sounds like you have sufficient reason to.

nickschick Sat 29-Sep-12 23:49:12

youre supposed to be kicking my arse lol....ty for the sympathy.

ThreadWatcher Sat 29-Sep-12 23:53:38

Kick kick kick kick kick kick kick

When is he likely to start at the school?

I imagine he will find it an enomous change!

nickschick Sun 30-Sep-12 00:06:28

i have to arrange it with school i dont want him to start midway through a term so it will be after half term i think probably november....and i have to sort a uniform and bus pass rtc etc (on my phone so dont take my spellingseriously lol) ps thanks for the kicking!!

nickschick Sun 30-Sep-12 08:55:47

bumping so i get some more straight talking .....need it cos i cried to myself last night

exoticfruits Sun 30-Sep-12 09:01:12

It is OK to feel sorry for yourself as long as you never let him know. Hope he has a wonderful time.

exoticfruits Sun 30-Sep-12 09:04:17

If you want some straight talking( you asked or I wouldn't) his education should never have been about you in the first place- it is about him. Parenting is the one job where you make yourself redundant. You give them roots and you give them wings. If you do it well they come back- because they want to, not because they feel sorry for you.
The world is now your oyster- go out and do something for you!

nickschick Sun 30-Sep-12 09:06:14

thankyou ...i hope he does too,hes a little apprehensive but v excited as we were told it would be late next week we would hear instead it was just 2days later -we both thought we had a week to 'breathe normally'...
its ridiculous that i feel so sad about what is such a normal thing to be doing.

exoticfruits Sun 30-Sep-12 09:14:46

See it as a normal rite of passage - let yourself feel sad - an era has finished. As soon as I dropped DS at university I sobbed my heart out! However- life goes on and we all got used to it and were on to the next adventure!

nickschick Sun 30-Sep-12 09:25:39

its silly i ansolutely encouraged ds1&2 to go to school after periods of home education with ds3 i feel gutted...im really thinking im having some sort of emotional breakdown (the school thing has just weighted the scales)its bloody stupid and i think its just that everything is spinning gra.dads health/ds2/other v serious stuff and having ds3at home has meant a lot of my day has 'routine' without him here its all going to fall on me...and i did/do enjoy homeschooling him

exoticfruits Sun 30-Sep-12 09:28:16

He is your baby! The other 2 going on we're OK because it wasn't the end. Whatever DC3 does is the last time. I think we all feel that - just be kind to yourself - build in some treats.

nickschick Sun 30-Sep-12 09:42:17

thankyou for being so kind, i know once i get my head around it it will be ok.....on wednesday night the day before the appeal he actually said to me 'dont go mum,ill just wait until next year and then try' and i said to him no the appeal was arranged and year 7is v important if you are wanting to be at secondary school at any point....
now i wish i hadnt bloody gone.

nickschick Sun 30-Sep-12 14:04:19

am feeling more used to it grin but still need some straight talking .....

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