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Family views on HE

(11 Posts)
RightsaidFreud Fri 28-Sep-12 12:57:48


I don't have any children yet, but i've always found the idea of HE to be a great one, and would think it to be a real consideration for any future children that we might have. I'm just curious to know how other members of the family reacted when you decided to HE. Do extended family help with Home ed of your children? Have they been supportive? I come from a very academic background, and my side of the family have always been very education/school minded. I think if I told my mother that any future grandchildren may be home educated, her head would explode and she would think i'm ruining their lives (shes very overdramitic). What are your experiences?

EauRouge Fri 28-Sep-12 17:00:06

What a fantastic username you have grin

DD1 isn't yet school age but we are planning to HE and we already go to a few groups. People have started asking about school (she is due to start next September) and we have said that we want to HE. I think most people think we are bonkers, but my parents have been very supportive. My DM (retired LSA) did have a few doubts and she often asks questions about HE but I think I have reassured her with the effort I've put into researching it, forming a network etc. My dad (qualified teacher but not teaching atm) thinks it's a brilliant idea

I haven't told my DB (also a teacher) yet but he disapproves of pretty much everything I do so I'm well prepared for the criticism.

I think the way you present the idea can make a lot of difference. We've not been too gung-ho about it but said that we want to try it and see how it goes, and that we're not totally opposed to the idea of school but we don't think it would suit us as a family right now. Sometimes people can see it as a criticism of their parenting if you do things differently to them so I always stress that it's different for everyone and that some children love school but that DD1 would hate it.

RightsaidFreud Fri 28-Sep-12 17:19:54

Great to hear your experiences EauRouge. I didn't think about it being a critisism of the way my parents parented me, but now you've said it, it makes sense!

From the little research i've done, it certainly seems to becoming more popular, and there is quite a bit of info out there on HE. Some of my friends have children of school age, and the parents often say how stressful it is, the whole school run, uniforms, meetings with teachers, their children are struggling with making friends etc.

It all seems very stressful. Both myself and my OH didn't have the best of school years, which has probably pushed us to be more interested in the idea of HE. I'm not against school, but certainly primary age, I found it stressful, suffered awful separation anxiety, which im sure contributed to anxieties i have as an adult.

I like the idea of teaching children skills they can use in real life (ie. helping baking a cake, learn about weights/volumes etc)

throckenholt Fri 28-Sep-12 18:42:20

My mum was very supportive (after initial doubts) and is MIL. FIL is not supportive and constantly sings the praises of school and how well the cousins are doing at school. Other family members have not said anything one way of the other.

We are both academics (both have qualifications coming out of our ears) - but don't see why HE should be a barrier in any way. Mine went to school for the first few years, but when it didn't inspire them (they weren't struggling but it just didn't stimulate them much), we decided we could do a better job.

HE becomes a way of life (as school becomes a way of life) - you time constraints change and your approach to things maybe becomes more elastic.

morethanpotatoprints Fri 28-Sep-12 18:58:37

Hello Rightsaidfred.

I know what you mean about the stress of school and already I have noticed a change in dd. We only started at the beginning of term and already she is far less stressed than her schooled friends. We only have one person against our idea to H.ed thats fil, and he would be against anything I suggested. I am constantly surprised how nice everyone is and genuinely interested, when we are out and about. I also think as more parents become dissatisfied with the system, more will choose this option. I think its a lovely thing to be able to offer your dc whatever the circumstances that initially make you curious. However, it is early days for us and I don't expect it to be completely trouble free, but school certainly isn't either.

exoticfruits Fri 28-Sep-12 19:11:47

If you don't have DCs yet I would wait and see what suits them-they are all different.

RightsaidFreud Fri 28-Sep-12 19:25:18

Exotic of course, i know all children are different. Was just curious to know about other peoples experience with extended family members view on HE, as its not the mainstream.

exoticfruits Fri 28-Sep-12 20:16:55

I would say that on the whole, based on experience of people that I know, that it will be generally negative. The trick is not to let them have a way in to discuss. Just say 'it suits us' and change the subject. Repeat as necessary. It is a huge mistake to explain and justify-it gives them the way in to argue their point. If you do let them argue just say 'really' a lot and change the subject.

RightsaidFreud Fri 28-Sep-12 20:24:28

I like your tactics Exotic! Let it go in one ear and our the other, with lots of smiling and nodding and reallys.

exoticfruits Fri 28-Sep-12 22:14:19

Having watched it is much the best. People will insist on explaining and justifying and they never win-there is really no need, it is your child and your choice of education. If you don't explain and don't justify it leaves them with nothing to say! There is no come back to 'it suits us'.

exoticfruits Fri 28-Sep-12 22:16:36

Same with anything to do with 'advice' on bringing up children-smile and nod and say 'it suits us'-it is quite useful to add 'at the moment' as it gives the impression that you may, possibly, come around to their way of thinking in the future. (or possibly not).

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