Please help. HE'd ds has to start school this week :(

[mrscturner]

My ds is almost 9 and I have home educated him from the start, apart from a disastrous spell at nursery and six months of reception.

I left my horrible husband and was finally able to move out with ds in August. We moved 200 miles away to my 'home' city.

My ex husband who was always pro HE has now changed his tune and wants ds in school or he will use it in his favour to get full custody. Also, I am now on benefits and cannot afford for ds to do all the activities he used to do, I have no transport now so can't get him to HE groups. So school is the only option :(

I got a letter from the council Friday offering a place at the local school.

Ds desperately wants to stay home educated. I am trying toobe positive about school but it's so hard.

I am so, so sad.

I am also winding myself up over stupid things. One of them being the school nursing service. Ds isn't registered with the Nhs, didn't have a hV, gp etc. He's always had the same private pediatrician at a Private hospital (which ex wil still pay for). Can I totally opt out of this service?

I know it's silly.

[mrscturner]

Also, I just don't know how to help ds. He doesn't understand why we can't continue HE. It's breaking my heart to see him so sad.

[julienoshoes]

Hello mrscturner
I have heard similar tales many times before, about a formerly supportive partner changing their minds.

Are you a member of the Home Education Single Parents email support group?
I know there are many there who have faced the same difficulties and some have found their way around it-including the unsupportive ex. I know you'd get support, from people who have been in the same position as you find yourself in, there.

Are their after school activities your lad could join in order to find friends locally? I'd be inclined to give that a go and continue home educating-and invite HE friends from the groups you have attended, to come over and stay for a few days at a time. I'd also join in with home ed camps and gatherings in the summer-I know quite a number of HE families, who travel to camps via public transport-a challenge, but a doable one!

Then you and your son can decide whether to continue with HE under these circumstances, or apply for a school. Your son would have more understanding of the realities perhaps than he does now.

[mrscturner]

Thanks but I really can't find a way to keep up with HE.

The only flat I could find to rent which took housing benefit was hideously expensive, so I have no money for anything. I don't get full housing benefit so all dhs maintenance tops up the rent and I live off tax credits. I've looked into after school activities and they all cost, I literally only have enough money to feed us after scraping the bills. So I need a job too.

[seeker]

First of all- don't worry about the school nursing service. The only contact my ds has had with them in 5 years of primary education is a talk about puberty! But they are pretty benign!

Secondly, have you been about to talk to a lawyer about the custody thing? Are you sure you home ediing would mean that your dp would get custody? It doesn't sound likely- but you do need facts.