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I am exhausted!

(12 Posts)
lostinafrica Sun 02-Oct-11 19:26:51

Just wondered how much support you need to HE successfully? I'm getting little time to myself - weekdays I'm with some or all DCs from 6am till 8pm; actually it's just the same at weekends, usually, although occasionally I have a couple of hours child-free.

How much time do you get away from your DCs? How do you keep going in the long term with so much contact time with them?

bebanjo Sun 02-Oct-11 20:50:32

Iam with DD almost all the time, tell she goes to bed, weekends she like to go out for breakfast with her dad.
I go out on a thursday.
I find if were getting fed up with each other we have a day out at our local stately home, she can pretty much do what she likes there and i sit and chill.

SDeuchars Mon 03-Oct-11 07:49:28

To some extent, it depends on what you are doing in that time, I think. If you spend a fair amount chilling and reading, then it is not so exhausting. Don't teach them that you are the main entertainment - let them get bored and find their own things to do.

throckenholt Mon 03-Oct-11 09:54:57

I think the key is as SDeuchars said - you don't have to entertain them all that time - they can do things on their own and so can you - all at home.

And make sure they take part in all the household stuff as well (not just you) - important life skills to learn smile

lostinafrica Mon 03-Oct-11 18:42:03

She'll go off and find things to do, although then she comes back and tells me what I should be doing as part of that!

The household stuff - yes, actually today (after I managed to sleep for an hour at lunchtime and started feeling a little more human) it gradually occurred to me that I was coping last week without my cleaner (in my defence, I live on the edge of a desert, and have four children and no dishwasher) and was without DH all weekend, and have been having broken nights. Could be part of the reason for the exhaustion... hmm

Reading - yes, we'll do more of that this week, I think. She loves it, and we have some new books thanks to a library for homeschoolers we've located here. And a Kindle, yippee!

Am feeling much more positive again - I just need to be a bit kinder to myself sometimes: sit down with a cup of tea now and then, that sort of thing!

KatharineClifton Tue 04-Oct-11 15:27:21

I think I know what you mean. I do feel smothered with kids at times. As a LP I never get time without them now mine are home ed. It does piss me off. Yes the kids do go off and do their own thing, but they are always here.

lostinafrica Tue 04-Oct-11 18:34:52

Yes, that's it. I'm not a LP, but DH works so much that he rarely takes them off my hands. I think probably all parents need some regular guaranteed time away from children in order to function effectively - it's often said to mothers with babies and toddlers, isn't it?

KatharineClifton Tue 04-Oct-11 19:14:05

Absolutely! I have no words of advice or solace, but you're not the only one. One day they will leave home...

flussymummy Wed 05-Oct-11 00:37:09

And then we'll be sad...

flussymummy Wed 05-Oct-11 00:39:59

Sorry! Not being judgy- just agreeing! I have 3 hrs off one morning a week and I run about madly trying to fit in all the tidying and cleaning- not much of a break! But it's worth it.

KatharineClifton Wed 05-Oct-11 00:48:32

I got the first comment and yes grin

Saracen Wed 05-Oct-11 07:00:31

Sorry blush I don't remember the details of your situation, lostinafrica - you have young children too don't you? Did you feel the same way when the older ones were at school?

I just think it is hard spending all that time looking after young children, full stop, even if the older ones are at school. You hear similar things from parents who have some children at school and some younger ones still at home. I didn't feel that having my dd at school was actually as much of a break for me as I'd expected. For one thing, younger children turn their attention more to mum when they have no older siblings around to pester engage with. For another, there is the stressful part of every day which involves getting to a certain place at exactly the right time with all the right gear, and that has a knock-on effect because you have to be stricter about bedtimes, getting meals eaten promptly etc. And my while my dd coped reasonably well with school, she was far more needy when at home than she had been while home educated. If she needed me while I was making dinner, I couldn't really say to her (or to myself) "you've had access to me for most of the day, now this is a time I need you to wait."

I did find it hardest when I had just one child who was four/five and very demanding. I went to work part-time while she went to a HE childminder and that was a fantastic break for me, which she enjoyed too. As my kids have got older it has become easier and easier.

Sorry that may not be much help... I just think that if you have preschool-aged children then your overall situation of where you live, looking after them for long hours on your own etc might be the main challenge, and not the home edding as such.

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