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Am I doing the right thing? Wibble wobble :(

(3 Posts)
bubbleymummy Wed 22-Jun-11 11:26:29

DS1 would have been P1 this year so we've just finished our first year of HE. He's learned a lot, he's happy and content, I've made sure we've gone to lots of outside groups and met up with friends so he's socialising etc but part of me is just worrying that he's missing out on things. What if he's losing out on all the fun in these early years? What if he could be learning more? What if my disorganised attempts to educate him end up stopping him from achieving his full potential? What if he needs a more structured, formal environment? sad

Saracen Wed 22-Jun-11 19:53:38

He IS missing out on things that happen at school which might benefit him and which he might enjoy, without a doubt. There are always some nice things that happen at school. Nearly all of us adults have some fond memories of school.

But what has happened in the last year of home education, which your son would have missed out on if he'd been at school? You know what he's been doing, so only you can answer that.

The following is an answer I once posted on this subject elsewhere. Being lazy, I've copied it below:


The following discussion helped to convince my husband that school was not actually something "unmissable." Out of the blue - not in the middle of a discussion about school/HE - I started a discussion of childhood. I asked him whether he'd had a happy childhood, and what all of his happiest memories were, who he'd loved most, what were his favourite places, and what sorts of things had made him anxious or unhappy. I then pointed out that of the many happy memories he'd mentioned, not one was related to school. None of the people he was most fond of - sisters, mother, a neighbour - were related to school. And of the things that made him anxious, most were connected with school.

Of course home educated children miss out on school experiences. Some of what they miss out on is good, some bad. But what many people fail to consider is that schoolchildren miss out too. If my daughter had been at school she would have missed out on the following memorable events, for example:

* The only good snowfall last year. It was perfect for snowballing and snowman-building. It had melted by 3pm.
* Her baby sister's birth
* Midweek sleepover in the tent in the back garden, with campfire
* Saying goodbye properly to her dying grandma
* A springtime heatwave: out with the paddling pool and picnics
* Some fabulous museum trips, to places she had chosen, when the museum was nearly empty and she could spend as long as she liked at each exhibit
* Birthday party on her actual birthday, a Monday
* Seeing a plumbing leak short-circuit the electrics, causing a dramatic explosion in our ceiling. (Not a highlight of MY year!!)
* A ride in a huge tow truck
* Home ed coach trip

Add those moments up and they balance out pretty well against the school sports day, nativity play, field trip, etc. that she missed by not being in school.

bubbleymummy Thu 23-Jun-11 13:33:51

Thanks Saracen. It's a good way to look at things - school children are missing out on things that we're doing. smile We're planning a few group outings over the summer so they'll be like field trips and he does drama anyway and has his first 'performance' next week. So excited! smile

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