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But what about the Socialisation? A thought.

(8 Posts)
cleverything Mon 13-Jun-11 14:29:24

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

wordsmithsforever Mon 13-Jun-11 16:45:24

The socialisation thing is such a crock... I went to school but home ed my DD and DS and I can think of scores of people who went to school and never established effective social skills. It's not a given by any means that by sending your children to school they will become socially skilled. Anyway, with home ed becoming more and more popular, you can build in as much social time as suits your particular family. I think the socialisation thing is just one of those knee jerk slightly predjudiced responses, similar to the tedious questions faced by only children: "Bet you were really bored/spoiled?" or SAHM: "I suppose you must spend lots of time having gossipy coffee mornings and going shopping with your friends?"

Don't be disheartened - the socialisation thing is just the first thing that comes into the minds of people who don't know anything about home ed and who haven't bothered to find out any more. There are many people on these threads who will tell you that their DC have an enviable social life! On average my children see their friends every couple of days, what with Brownies, football in the park, dancing, local home ed outings and playdates. My DD is more social than my DS. Like me he needs lots of down time away from hordes of people and would hate to be with 30 odd children his exact age all day. However, give him a friend and a football and a nice park and he is jolly happy! That's socialisation to me!

Saracen Mon 13-Jun-11 17:19:15

"The conclusion I can draw then, is that all these people who are so concerned about the socialisation of Home Edded children, believe they are quite able to learn to read, write, add up etc, without school attendence."
I think that's probably true, up to a point. Many people seem to think that all children with any sort of special needs require specialist help, and some are horrified at the idea of tackling GCSEs without a subject specialist teacher.

But primary, yes, I think it's getting to be much more widely recognised that children can make great progress with individual help. I get the impression that when a child "falls behind" at school the main help they are usually given is individual teaching by unqualified TAs, and the same for the one-to-one assistants provided to children with SENs - I think they usually have no specialist training.

Saracen Mon 13-Jun-11 17:23:35

As for the socialisation question, I often respond with "Yes, well, of course that's one of the main reasons I am home educating, because it provides better social opportunities. My daughter likes to spend time with people of different ages and have playdates that last all day. She found school interfered with her social life too much, and left her with little time and energy for sports and clubs."

cleverything Mon 13-Jun-11 22:52:26

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Jamillalliamilli Thu 16-Jun-11 17:36:32

I get the impression that when a child "falls behind" at school the main help they are usually given is individual teaching by unqualified TAs, and the same for the one-to-one assistants provided to children with SENs - I think they usually have no specialist training.

They get 'awareness' training if they're lucky, and some good comitted ones take it upon themselves to go out and learn all they can, but the latter seem few and far between, and we've never met one in our sort of schools.

More worryingly we've encountered several with active prejudice against the children they where supposed to be helping who delighted in telling other parents how pointless it was and how they just took them walkabout instead of implementing the supposed interventions. I was also gobsmacked to come across a one handed child 'failing' a two handed typing program and the LSA totally ignoring the obvious while saying 'Aw bless' a lot.

Annecdotally my son asked his last new LSA (secondary school) to explain the wording of an English question and got told "that's not my role". He pointed out that he was the LSA and got the response: "I wipe runny noses and bottoms, I don't get paid enough for more". Later son had to fill out an evaluation and innocently said LSA was no good at helping with the work, but was very useful as the other children were now attacking the LSA instead of him.

As to socialisation both school and we had come to accept that son would have to go through school alone and despised, and it was a huge suprise to find that out there were all these wonderful unjudgemental H/E children happy to know and accept him for who he was, and problem now is stopping 'socialisation' running us out of time for education. It's a lovely problem. :-)

queenbathsheba Sun 19-Jun-11 22:46:32

Justgettingon, glad your son has found some friends who are home ed.

I think there is a difference between socialising and socialisation. Socialising is undertaken willingly but submitting to a process of socialisation is like potty training.

Socialisation is a process of learning to behave in certain prescribed ways in fitting with the environment in which you are in. School is an institution in which the people within in it have set positions, prescribed behviours and expectations of others. The same can be said of all public spaces, companies, building, shared accomodation, hospitals......... However the emphasis in state funded education is to churn out answering machines not scientists or philosophers, political activists or people who will not perform citizenship in the prescribed manner.

As you can probably tell I don't perform citizenship in the way school intended and as a free thinker I wanted to endow upon my children the right to be the people they are without reference to sheep farming grin

catwoman2011 Mon 20-Jun-11 17:05:56

We are planning to home ed out very bright 3 yr old but at the moment she spends 16 hours a week at nursery where she mixes with 1-5 yr olds. Her IQ has exceeded a 4 yr olds milestone although her speech is a bit slurry (this is only due to a can't be bothered attitude though). She attends ballet where the girls are either older or younger than her and she fits right in, often helping the little ones when they are shy. The only person to question my ability to teach my children at home has been my MILs husband. I am 3/4 towards my PGCE and just have mydegree to go before being a QT but apparently that's not good enough. Anyway, most others are more concerned about socialisation which seems to be quite good. It can't be that bad, I taught her to walk, eat with a knife and fork, talk and we are nearly dry during the day. I'll just continue this process on my own (and with the help of DH and my parents of course).

Anyway, we'll never be at home, London is a great place with all of it's galleries, museums and attractions. We'll join a HE group and go with them too. Much better.

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