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Just a quick offload really...

(5 Posts)
catbus Tue 07-Jun-11 11:01:29

Hello chaps! Well, much has happened chez Catbus of late. Long story short, DD2, now 8, decided she wanted to go to school, and so went for the first day this morning! What amazed me was how eloquent, determined and confident she was to try it. smile I only hope she does get on well and that I won't be looked upon strangely as having not made her 'keep up' with her age group, academically speaking. She can't stand writing and has barely done any in a year or so: she has pretty much done the things that float her boat!
However, she seemed quiet but strong this morning, whereas I am feeling distinctly odd! I quite like the routine of having to get up and out, although from memory, that will probably wear thin in, oooo..a week. She has already said that she might decide to come back out of school again when they transfer to a big middle school, aged 9.

Now I am left in turmoil regarding eldest DD, now 12. She is trying to please atm, which I feel awful about, as she feels she needs to be 'working' as sister is at school. She has no interest in returning to mainstream education, which I am mostly fine about. We have had a few issues again recently though, regarding her being quite apathetic about anything apart from the lifelong anime/manga passion. I still would like her to be at least trying new and varied things, even if they turn out to be of no interest. Getting her to budge or be vaguely excited on this front is pretty infuriating!

However, she is much more confident and approachable (mostly!) these days and seems happy pottering along as she is. Of late, she and her sister have been really lucky to attend a fair few Forest School sessions, and she goes to Woodcraft Folk. Also has had one on one art sessions with our neighbour, who used to be an art teacher. Luckily all free, as we are TOTALLY skint..

I suppose I am really aware of the changing dynamic here now, due to one starting school again and the other under the grip of hormones..with the bonus of energetic 3 year old and now 8 month mini Catbus whose sleep patterns are enough to give me a starring role in a zombie film.

Not entirely sure what the point of this post was, but anyone with any top tips or that have one at school and one at home, please respond!

Toffeefudgecake Wed 08-Jun-11 04:04:44

I hope your daughter's first day at school went well, Catbus. It must feel very weird for you, not having her at home.

I am home educating one and have my other at school. Unlike you, I do not have a three-year old and an 8-month old at home too - you have your hands full, don't you?

I took my oldest son (11) out of school in January (he was miserable) and my youngest (5) did have a 'wobble' about school for a week or so. However, I really didn't feel up to home educating them both (partly because DS1 was really enjoying the novel one-to-one attention at home and partly because I could see that DS2 was actually enjoying school). I explained to DS2 that his brother was unhappy at school because he is dyslexic and it causes him problems at school, but pointed out that as DS2 isn't dyslexic he is lucky enough not to have these problems. After this, DS2 was perfectly happy to attend school again, although he does miss seeing his big brother there.

Don't feel awful about your 12-year old trying to please by working harder - make the most of it! I'm sure it won't last, once the novelty of her sister going to school has worn off. I was so impressed by how eager to please my eldest was when we started home ed - if only he was still like that!

The free art sessions and Woodcraft folk stuff sound brilliant for your oldest DD. My son is also very resistant to trying new stuff. Over the years, he has tried various after-school clubs, but lost interest in all of them. I think he just finds life fairly stressful and needs to be at home to recover. I do remember my own mother agonising over me not having enough proper 'hobbies' when I was about that age. To be honest, I was just happy at home, reading books and writing stories. They were my preferred 'hobbies'. So I would say, don't stress too much over your daughter's lack of interest in trying new things at the moment. Maybe, if there is something you really think she would enjoy if she gave it a chance, you could reward her for trying it by offering her an incentive (new manga comic/DVD/time with you letting her discuss manga to her heart's content?).

Hope the rest of your daughter's first week at school goes well.

smile

CheerMum Wed 08-Jun-11 19:12:31

Hi,

Just a thought but if your dd loves manga maybe she might enjoy learning Japanese? Or doing a research project on the history of manga (ict skills, history, geography "sneakily" covered). Are there any biographies on manga artists? or online blogs? Or maybe writing an explanation of a manga comic strip for her sister.

If she's into natre may I also recommend the SPB Wildife Action Awards. http://www.rspb.org.uk/youth/learn/waa/home.aspx
the booklet is £2 i think and that is all it costs. you do nature activities (like make bird houses/bird food/litter pickingetc) and when you've done 6 you send off for your bronze award (nice certificate and stickers) then you choose another 6 for you silver, then gold.

Hope this helps x

catbus Fri 10-Jun-11 23:05:25

Thankyou both. Toffee; I remember that I liked doing this too! DD2 is having a whale of a time and really philosophical about it all: she is so empowered this time around, knowing it is her choice to be there. And yes, it's odd with her not here and the balance has shifted in the daytimes at least.

Cheermum; She started learning Japanese off her own back a while ago! I guess, as per, that after an impromptu rant, I have assessed the situation and acknowledge she is learning in her own pottering style way. She is so often so damn sullen and teenage like, it's hard not to think it's because of HE, rather than just her age and stage in her life! Thanks for the advice though..

I think it feels odd that I have one back in the structured system, which makes me feel I should be getting eldest DD to 'work' harder, despite (her learning) being so much more effective autonomously. How different my children all are is certainly highlighted at times like this: one size fits some but not all!

Saracen Fri 10-Jun-11 23:38:35

(cheeky grin) Sorry to bring this up just as you are hoping to prise your older dd away from her manga, but... would she like to correspond with my 11yo about manga?

It's a fairly recent interest for my daughter, who has only been drawing in this style for about six months. She spends a lot of time on it now.

If you think that would be a good idea, send me a PM and I'll give you my email address.

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