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Is it possible to temporarily HE?

(13 Posts)
DeckTheIceWithDragonsAndHolly Thu 02-Dec-10 11:35:45

We're having problems with Ds at school. It is associated with specific events during the school year and the effect if horrific. Other times in the school year he is fine and thoroughly enjoys school. It has been beneficial for him to attend. However, during these specific events he becomes distressed and struggles with school to the point that he refuses to attend. Not unusal in some children but normally he is nagging to get to school on time. So unusual for him. it affects him significantly and this can be seen in his behaviour. Unfortunatly school refuse to see that there is a problem.

Affect being kicked in the head and everything else that has gone on the last few days i kept him off school yesterday. He was calm, pleasant and a delight. he has been struggling with asthma and a cold so this can be justified as sickness. however, he was well enough to go to school and the effect on him has been astounding. To the point where i have insisted on an urgent meeting with the school.

My question is has anyone temporarily he without losing their school place whilst the situation has been resolved. It is a coping problem that can be resolve with support (aspie) and I want to try to get the support mechanisms in place so that he can continue to enjoy school. but dont want to put him through the distress that he has been suffering.

Any advice?

JetCat Thu 02-Dec-10 12:02:06

There is such a thing as part time schooling, with the empathisis on part time. As far as i know, the only thing with this is that you have to follow some sort of curriculum.

I basically just took DD out of school, without realising she would lose her place, so then had to reapply -- so i wouldnt advise following my examplewink

But, school are being much more understanding now. DD misses a lot of lessons,goes to the student support base for lessons she finds impossible, and is excused from group work. But, all of this very much depends on the teacher at the time, and as for supply teachers - thats another story!

He is primary isnt he? Is there a day which he finds easier than others? I would be asking school if he could just go in on a very part time basis, so he doesnt lose the school experience totally?

My experience with a less than helpful primary was to go over their heads, and get the parent partnership in. Also, you should be able to refer to Ed Psych if school wont.

That is all probably all that you already know thoughblush Will have a further think - but in the meantime, how about posting on the forum, to get some teachers' perspective on it?

DeckTheIceWithDragonsAndHolly Thu 02-Dec-10 12:27:19

Sounds good hadnt thought about that. Have spoken to the Family leasion lot as pp arent in the office today. They said as he isnt 100% well it would be ok as technically he isnt well anyway and the meeting is monday.

Part time education thing sounds like something that could be considered. I have no problem with following the school syllabus.

DeckTheIceWithDragonsAndHolly Thu 02-Dec-10 12:37:29

*family information service people

JetCat Thu 02-Dec-10 12:41:48

a lot of schools arent keen on part time schooling though, i think it affects their budget or something. I will do some googling, and look through the home ed sites i am still a member of.

DeckTheIceWithDragonsAndHolly Thu 02-Dec-10 13:06:12

It would only be a temporary measure though for these really rough patches so that we can teach him to cope with them without pushing him over the edge which is what is happening atm. like a desensitisation programe, with the aim of reducing the amount of school he misses due to these events. Because atm the only alternative is for him to go sick and miss all of it atm for MH reasons.

grumpypants Thu 02-Dec-10 13:10:16

what events are triggers? things that happen all year round (assemblies) or seasonal things?

DeckTheIceWithDragonsAndHolly Thu 02-Dec-10 13:25:06

Last year was the christmas play and the big whole school concert event. Atm its the christmas play. Seems to be seasonalish.

Basically he is sound sensitive and very routine driven. These affect him so badly he loses his ability to cope normal life properally. Hence the emotional implosions and explosions. School keep making excuses saying all the kids are a little exciteable hmm yes but are they reacting in a violent manor?

JetCat Thu 02-Dec-10 13:26:49

dragons - have a read through this thread smile

DeckTheIceWithDragonsAndHolly Thu 02-Dec-10 13:41:24

That really helps. thanks.

Saracen Thu 02-Dec-10 14:48:16

The school loses no funding if they agree to your child being educated off-site for part of the time. That's one option, if you can get them to agree.

Another is to enlist the support of a sympathetic GP who agrees that school attendance at certain times is stressful for your son, in which case you can keep him off sick.

If neither of those is an option then depending how close to the wind you want to sail, you could simply keep him off school without permission. You would not lose his school place any time soon. Eventually there would be a truancy prosecution against you - or if your LA is very gung-ho then they may issue a fixed penalty fine early on. One other possible drawback of keeping him home without permission would be repercussions for him at school: do you think the staff would give him grief over it?

I know that one problem some parents have is the Catch-22 that in order to document their child's difficulties at school so they can get appropriate provision in place, the parents feel they must keep sending the child in to suffer meltdowns so the problems are obvious. Keep the child away from school, and no one believes he'd suffer if he were at school. It's a horrible dilemma. I don't envy you!

DeckTheIceWithDragonsAndHolly Thu 02-Dec-10 16:33:51

School have been aware and involve since prior to him starting. he has done better then anyone had hoped in most of it. Spoke to his teacher today and warned her about the meeting she suggested visual timetables etc. I suggested he needs some emotional support to learn how to process it. She agrees he needs coping strategies and is going to try to get some advice from the inschool specialist unit.
The school is mostly good which is why i'd rather keep him in, but i have had problems with his delayed reaction to this sort of event (exploding from the point of walking out of the building). Hopefully we can help him so that he can cope with the stuff he wants to cope with (internal coping conflict being part of the overall problem)

seeker Thu 02-Dec-10 16:56:21

I don't know if this is any help at all, Deck, but therte is a boy in ds's class who soulnds a bit similar to your ds. His father is a SAHD, and he goes into school with the boy when he's finding things challenging. It seems to work very well - although I suppose it's not helping him learn to cope with difficult situations without his dad there.

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