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does your local home ed group sts piss you off

(18 Posts)
loopers Tue 02-Nov-10 18:33:17

and what do you do? sometimes they get on my nerves in the way any group of people would and of course all contact is through email so there is always the potential for fallouts due to the tone of an email. Sometimes I just yearn for the 'ordinary' people and for everyone not to be so bloody sanctimonious, introverted, serious, humourless, dull. Sorry but my lot are really getting on my nerves lately

sarah293 Tue 02-Nov-10 18:39:43

Message withdrawn

loopers Tue 02-Nov-10 19:00:43

yes, but it's such a small community that it's all a bit stifling. There a great bunch of people but I suppose it's like any other group of people or even family they still get on my nerves. It's like everyone has to keep up a perfect politically correct veneer. I think there is an added tension because nobody wants to fall out with anyone else because then you lose your social circle and then your kids suffer. You get kind of blacklisted if you speak out and are not popular. Maybe I'm expecting too much.

Saracen Wed 03-Nov-10 00:36:13

If being in the group is that difficult, and if people actually get the cold shoulder for being different or speaking out, then there must be a number of "refugee" families who haven't liked the group or have been pushed out.

Why not seek them out? They might be very interesting people who don't hesitate to speak their minds.

To ferret them out, you could try social networking or sticking up posters in the library. Or ask old-timers at the current group whether they can introduce you to any other HE people who don't attend: just tell them you enjoy your current HE friends so much that you want even more of them wink.

queenrollo Wed 03-Nov-10 13:05:18

i can sympathise with your sentiment as my local group is going through a rough patch and i'm just keeping my head down for the time being. I'm normally the sort of person to speak my mind but have to consider my child's social needs so this is difficult for me on a few levels.
I'm trying hard to expand my HE circle but living rurally makes it harder.

samay Wed 03-Nov-10 23:39:52

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samay Wed 03-Nov-10 23:40:50

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GingerbreadWoman Mon 08-Nov-10 12:54:15

Sorry to be a thicko but what does 'sts' stand for?

betelguese Sun 14-Nov-10 13:03:32

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

EvilEyeButterPie Thu 18-Nov-10 12:06:33

tbh, this is one of the main issues that made us decide not to HE. Loads of relatively mainstream people on here, but our group (although there were some lovely people) seemed to be full of paranoid types who were convinced that, for example, setting foot in a surestart centre would lead to you having your child taken away from you, or that vaccinations were some kind of government plot. There were people who were relatively normal, but the odd ones were most vocal.

I ended up being at the receiving end of one womans rantings (I do Usborne books, she signed up with me and didn't do well, then she started with an internet campaign that anyone who did such a job was "too schooled" and stupid and couldn't think for themselves, and that it was a massive scam because she had "discovered" that Usborne make a profit - I'm making a good living out of it, but because she wasn't, for myriad reasons, a lot based around refusing to sell in "poverty areas" or government funded facilities, she decided to blame me) and I just realised that I couldn't put up with that kind of stuff for the next 16 years.

Call me weak, but when HE is more mainstream, I'll be looking at it seriously again. Until then, i'm afriad I'll be on the PTA and doing extra work at home in the classical style.

SpringHeeledJack Thu 18-Nov-10 21:33:58

grin @ Butterpie

I thought I hadn't seen you round these parts for a while!

I find these attitudes more often with HEers online (particularly bloggers) than in RL- tho sometimes, when I can see that a RL conversation with a home edder is going That Way, I tend to make my excuses and leave

the persecution thing does get on my tits a bit- I mean, come on, if the worst that's going to happen to you is someone from the LEA is going to nip in with a tick sheet for a cup of tea once a year, it's hardly a rap at the door from the Gestapo, is it?

... is it?


SpringHeeledJack Thu 18-Nov-10 21:35:07

...tell you what tho, imo you can get much much worse on the PTA grin

NotAnotherBrick Fri 19-Nov-10 11:40:50

There are flipping wierdos in every walk of life. Just laugh inwardly when they start ranting and go and chat to a normal person. There are one or two bonkers people who go to some of hte groups we go to, but I just take them with a pinch of salt.

I have to say, I think it's a bit of an odd reason to decide not to home educate, but each to their own!

NotAnotherBrick Fri 19-Nov-10 11:43:08

By the way, why do people who complain about HE groups not set up their own? This is something that really, really irritates me, as a serial group setter-upperer! I don't get many complaints, but I do hear people whinging that there's not enough on near where they live...or the groups that are on are too are too unstructured or something.

When the local groups have not suited my children, or my children have needed something more or different, I've arranged something, not complained that no one else has arranged something that perfectly suits my family.

EnnisDelMar Fri 19-Nov-10 11:47:11

Not sure what STS is either, but yes, our local group was bloody odd.

It felt like a lot of issues, a lot of people who wanted to be in charge of their own system thankyou very much, almost like being in a school setting but they were just nutters really and at least in a school you get a mix.

Some people were brilliant but it was hard to get past the weirdness and get the numbers of the nice people - they were normally the most reticent, hiding in a corner like mesmile

I'd avoid the groups and just go your own way.

SpringHeeledJack Fri 19-Nov-10 12:05:42

NotAnotherBrick I've just 'got' your name

wish I'd thought of it first


NotAnotherBrick Fri 19-Nov-10 13:01:34

grin Jack.

EvilEyeButterPie Fri 19-Nov-10 22:16:15

Our main reason is still money, with the social problems second. Tbh, I don't think social stuff would be so much much of an issue when they get a bit older, as they will be able to go to things like brownies. We're losing our cheap and free mainstream and social under 5's activities, and the others are either too unstructered or very expensive for our tastes.

If school doesn't suit, HE is our next thing, and indeed we will be looking at it again regulary, as well as at any time when we change school for whatever reason.

It's all academic atm anyway - me and DH are working our little socks off atm, and it's all going to cushioning ourselves from being so near the edge, so things like HE can be an option for us.

I did set up my own group. I met a couple of lovely people, who I am still good friends with, but they were still part of the same "gang" - there are only so many home educators with kids under seven in each area, and most of the other groups were out in the countryside or four buses away.

It boils down to me not being strong enough to fight on this issue. If I get the slightest whiff of school not working, I'll fight tooth and nail to HE, but for now, and I'm not proud of it at all, school seems to be ok for my kids so I don't have the energy to fight. I'm fighting on other issues for the moment.

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