Reading...again....

[becaroo]

Am getting worried re: ds1's (7) reading and am cross with myself as I feel I am letting him down.

I am trying to ease off and not pressure him as he already hates literacy and reading due to his experiences at school (he was labelled a sruggling reader in year 1 and was made fun of becasue of it) but I am getting worried because he no longer reads at night to us anymore (I was quite strict about it but dh is less so) and he appears to have forgotten some of the sight words that I know he knew 6 months ago when we took him out of school.

I just do not know what to do.....do I just carry on as we are with him doing very very little reading and hope he gets fed up and decides he wants to learn to read? or do I need to do something now? I am even considering hiring a tutor once a week as I feel I hve done so badly at this

Any advice gratefully received...

[mychildrenarebarmy]

What is he interested in?
Are there particular things that he likes that you could get him books/comics of?
Is he happy to just sit and look at books without reading them out loud?
If he can just be with books without feeling like he has to perform certain tasks with them then it might help him find some enjoyment in books.
Do you read to him every day? Do you read for pleasure yourself?
If he sees books as something that people find enjoyment in then it might rub off on him. If he only sees books as something he HAS to read then it will suck all the fun out of it for him.
Could you write little notes for him each day?
Things like "Hello 'DS of becaroo'. Shall we go to the park today?" stuck on the fridge or on his plate at lunch time. Don't try to get him to read them. If he asks what it says tell him. Eventually he will start to recognise the words as familiar and one day will suprise you by just reading it. If you go shopping with him he could have a small list of things that he needs to get. If he takes a pen he can cross the words off as he finds the things (it means that he gets to keep going back to the words, look at list before leaving, look at list in shop, find correct word to cross off).

Probably the most important piece of advice is make it pressure free. If something isn't working for him and is making him anxious about reading then pull back from it completely.

Second most important is also the hardest - Have faith and don't stress yourself because he will pick up on the fact that you are stressed because you are worried and that is caused by the fact that you think he should be reading.

[becaroo]

Hello mychildrenarebarmy

I must admit to smiling ruefully sometimes as I am an avid reader....cant remember a time when I couldnt read. Reading age of 15 at age 8 etc etc. Have read to ds1 since he was 2 months old and the house of FULL of books. It does seem like a bit of a cosmic joke on me to have a child that hates reading!

I did everything you are "supposed" to do and yet here we are at 7 years of age and he has the reading level of a 5 year old and no interest in learning to read better.

I didnt pressure him at school as I felt he was under enough pressure to "perform" there although we did read every night from god awful reading scheme books but it was a long hard slog and it made us both unhappy.

Some books say what you have just said and yet other books say that after 7 years old its too late and the "window of opportunity" for teaching reading is gone. sigh. Dont know what to do.

We have literally TONS of books on the shelves of topics he likes...animals, big machines etc What more can I do?

[ommmward]

forget the books, get him on t'interweb. games games games - superwhy, wordgirl, alphablocks, you name it, there are a gazillion actually really instantly fun things out there that help you learn to read as a byproduct of being great great fun.

Just read him books when he wants to hear them.

Have a heap of books that are for you to read aloud, and then a different heap of rather simpler books that you'll happily read aloud, and then sometimes you get interrupted by someone else chipping in. Relax. You have no idea what is going on in your child's mind. He may well want to have a huge amount of confidence in his ability to read accurately before he'll be happy to perform for someone else.

[SpringHeeledJack]

what ommmward said

my dds hate writing. That is until they need to commit huge amounts of detail about Pokemon to paper. Then they'll do it for hours and leave long incomprehensible lists all over the house

my (schooled) ds read nothing- without tears- until about the same age as your ds. Suddenly the penny dropped- over a summer holiday when I had more or less given in to despair and done absolutely nothing to encourage/pressure him. He's 12 now and reads incessantly.

just chill out- honest. I know tis very very hard!

[redflowerpot]

You could try separating teaching skills and techniques from reading books for pleasure and information.

What about writing sight words onto large sheets of paper, take them into the garden and ds can jump on them-shouting the word as he lands on it.He can jump over any he doesn't know.Your turn next- then he gets to hear the words he jumped over, and can have another try.Its a bit like sight word hopscotch.

I would consider carefully whether the evening is the best time to get ds to read to you.When is he at his most wide awake and able to concentrate? It may be the evening,but its more likely to be mid-morning.If i try to balance my on-line banking at night it always ends in tears!

There is a technique called knocking which is used to help children develop confidence and fluency. ds chooses a book to read to you.When he comes to a word that he can't read he knocks on the table and you read the word for him, then he continues. Its great for children who find it hard to get the meaning out of text because they're concentrating on decoding the words.

I used to work as a literacy tutor in schools and am now a home-educating Mum. In my opininion ds is much more likely to learn at home, in a relaxed, supportive atmosphere,than in a class.Don't forget that a lot of what you are dealing with is the result of the negative experience that he had at school.

[logi]

I make a treasure hunt for my son with a little paragraph in each clue...its the only time he doesnt moan about reading.
Its been so successful on some clues now i put a few maths sums which he has to complete to move on to the next clue...he loves them and of course the treasure at the end (sweets)

[becaroo]

Thank you all.

I know you are right but its so hard. I feel I let him down
a) by sending him to school in the 1st place
b) keeping him there when I knew he was unhappy and now
c) I dont seem to be able to help him with is literacy.

I will look into those websites, thanks. He already uses Mathswhizz which he likes.

As an aside, ds1 had his 6 monthly asthma check with his paed this morning (very sensible father of 4) and he was asking about our plans for september and I told ds1 is going to be HE for as long as he wants. He asked about what ds1 does for socialisation - I told him. Then he said
"the only reaason to send children to school is for the socialisation, you will teach him far more than he will ever learn in school"!!!!!!!!

I suppose I am just not used to such support and confidence in my abilities as a Home educator!! PIL are coming round too!!!

[OmicronPersei8]

How about if he tells you a story and you write it down, you could make it into a book together (it could be story, or just about a topic of interest, or a puzzle adventure or anything really). Then he'll have something that he knows already and might want to read.

It's something I used to do years ago when as a tutor, I got the idea from Through Writing to Reading which has an emphasis on the classroom, although I think it's a lovely thing to do one-to-one.

[OmicronPersei8]

Every time I post about reading I get told quite quickly that my ideas are antiquated, though.

[becaroo]

I would always listen to a fan of futurama!!!

[OmicronPersei8]

That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me on MN.

[becaroo]

[MathsMadMummy]

invades thread and hands out Slurm and Popplers

[becaroo]

[Fava]

There are some lovely ideas being posted.
I just wanted to add that the eye is not fully developed until the age of 8 or so. It could be that your ds is still developing his tracking ability and/or eyesight. It might be that all he needs is larger print. You could also try doing letter/word searches with him to strengthen the tracking ability.

I have also heard that a book called 'Toe by Toe' is excellent in helping late blooming readers. I discovered it a little late for my ds (now 9).
We used the Jolly Phonics series which was great for learning to read but we are still struggling with spelling, so we have now started on sequential spelling (AVKO).

HTH

[maizieD]

becaroo said:
"I did everything you are "supposed" to do and yet here we are at 7 years of age and he has the reading level of a 5 year old and no interest in learning to read better."

Poor you. I really sympathise, but I suspect you got suckered into the 'reading is natural, surround them with books, read to them, they will pick it up' school of reading 'instruction'; and it doesn't help to be surrounded by people whose children '...well, basically my dc (aged 6 months) followed the words with its finger when I was reading to them and, hey presto, within three weeks they were reading Harry Potter..'

What ever has happened in the past I would strongly suspect that your ds doesn't like to read because he finds it very difficult. The fact that he has 'forgotten' his 'sight words' tells me that his phonics instruction at school wasn't very rigorous (because rigorous phonics instruction does not include teaching 'sight words') and that he probably finds reading difficult because his phonic knowledge is very incomplete.

This is a link to a 'nonsense word test' which tests a child's phonic knowledge. A well taught 7 year old should be able to do most of it. If he can't, then I would use a good programme to teach him with. If he has a good grasp of the simple, one letter = one sound correspondences you don't need to work him therough them again, just find out where he gets stuck and start from there.

I would suggest looking at Phonics International. It is very reasonably priced and has masses of supplementary information and advice which will help you to teach it if you are not confident with phonics.
There is also Read Write Inc (published by OUP) and Dancing Bears (Promethean Trust). As a standalone programme or for supplementary decodable readers there are the BRI & ARI books from Piper Books or decodable readers available from bookshops, amazon etc . This site will give lots of links to resources.

I find it very ironic that you have read somewhere that the 'window of opportunity to teach reading' is lost once the child is 7. There is a school of thought (notably Steiner schools) which thinks that you shouldn't start teaching a child to read until they are 7

Basically, neither are correct. Anbody can learn to read at any age!

One golden rule, I would say, is: never to let him struggle. Promise him that he is going to find it easy to learn to read (unless you have any really good reason to think he has a learning difficulty) and never ask him to read anything that contains letter/sound correspondences that he doesn't yet know.

Also, don't expect him to learn any words as 'sight words', i.e as a 'whole'. He obviously finds this difficult (and indeed, as it is somewhat akin to asking an adult to memorise, and instantly recall, a set of telephone numbers I think you should appreciate just how difficult it is) and he isn't going to feel confident about reading until he is sure that he's not going to get any impossibly difficult tasks to do. Lots of practice at decoding and blending are all he needs.

I very much admire you taking on this task. It isn't always the easiest of things to do, to work with a reluctant reader, and it being your own child must make it harder. But, if you are home educating you of course have a duty to teach him to read. I wish you all the very best with it!

[ommmward]

what a helpful post ^^^

I am sort of one of those "it's all happening by magic" people, except that I have noticed that literacy acquisition does a huge leap forwards when a child has been spending time on phonics based internet games (CBeebies is the place to look)

[MathsMadMummy]

I'll admit I was always a bit about the whole 'phonics all the way' thing, as I learned to read 'by magic' - I guess I just picked up the rules myself IYSWIM. will be doing phonics with DD though as she doesn't seem to be just picking it up as I did, which is fair enough.

[SpringHeeledJack]

there is definitely a place for phonics- but I don't think they're necessarily the answer to everything. One of my dds (twins) hated phonics (at school) found them tedious and learned "by magic" -other dd sounds things out and breaks everything down veeeeeeery carefully into its composite parts

unfortunately looks like this govt- as the last one- is on the path of Phonics Being The Answer to just about everything

[redflowerpot]

Just my opinion, but I think that children learn to read in lots of different ways.Some take off with phonics,others seem to get a better start with sight words but reach a saturation point and then use phonics ,others just seem to learn by osmosis.There are children who just seem to pick up the ability to read by having access to books and being read to. The reality is that many children learn to read by a combination of all of these methods. The great thing about home education is that you have the freedom to try everything and see what works for your child.You are not constrained by government policy, educational trend or by the beliefs or training of a particular teacher. If you want to you could go right back to the very beginning- work on the pretence that he hasn't been to school at all, and start with stuff that he can do e.g. telling stories to you from books without words, letter sounds that you know he already knows- and really give him the chance to shine and succeed.

I know what you feel about letting ds down. I feel like that too with my daughter. I kept her going to school much longer than I should have. I knew that she was very unhappy and kept trying to 'patch things up' in school rather than just taking her out. Its been two years now, and she is a different child - much happier and more confident.Don't know how long your ds has been out of school, but it's really taken both her and I the full two years to be able to relax about everything and really enjoy learning together. Good luck.

[becaroo]

Thanks so much everyone. I am (as ever) really touched that so many of you take the time to post replies.

I found what maizieD said very interesting (and comforting!!!).

Thanks for your input too redflowerpot and fava. I was using toe by toe with him til march. He was doing well with it, but hating every second of it and it was making us both unhappy.

If I am brutally honest with myself I know it doesnt mattter if he is not a fluent reader til he is 9 or 10 but guess I am worried what other people, especially the LA will think of that.

He is so much happier now and much more confident and in that sense I am very happy to be Home Educating him but this autonomous thing does not come easily to me but I am trying! It doesnt help either that I think I have seriously underestimated how damaging school was to his (already fragile) sense of self.

I think it was ommward who told me that children need so many months per school year to "unschool"???? Ds1 was at nusery/school for 4 years so he may need a bit longer to recover?

Anyway, thanks again x

[becaroo]

Will look at those links maizieD Thanks again x

[MathsMadMummy]

I can understand you worrying what other people think, even though you know you shouldn't!

that's what annoys me in general... it would be so so unfair for the LA (or indeed anyone else) to criticise you/HEing because he is struggling with reading. FFS, what about all the children in schools all over the country who can't read, who are being let down by poor teaching and lack of support?

it gets to me, that part of the law about 'education or otherwise' - the bit that says 'suitable to his aptitude or ability' or whatever... lots of children do not get that IN school.

[maizieD]

becaroo said:
"If I am brutally honest with myself I know it doesnt mattter if he is not a fluent reader til he is 9 or 10 but guess I am worried what other people, especially the LA will think of that."

Does the LA check up on Home Educators to monitor their children's progress? I wouldn't worry about the reading in that respect; there are hundreds of 16y olds leaving mainstream school who are not 'fluent readers'. It would be very hypocritical of the LA to worry about a not very fluent 10y old when their schools can't get it right

[Saracen]

maizieD is right, the LA is not allowed to monitor children's progress. It is all about the education which is being provided by the parents, not about the children's attainment.

In school, children who aren't reading well by ten are disadvantaged. In just about every subject area, they are expected and required to read and write in order to receive instruction and demonstrate "learning." At home, this need not be the case. If your son can't read, you can read to him. He can watch documentaries, listen to audiobooks, talk to people, learn by doing things. You'll know whether he's learning, because you live with him and listen to him.

The need for children to be fluent readers at an early age is almost entirely confined to the school environment. Just as your son doesn't have to sit and eat his lunch out of a lunchbox at the dining table, or wear a uniform to play in the garden, or be good at queueing up in order to go into another room at home, the fact he is home educated means he doesn't have to be a strong reader when he's quite young.

You are in the best position to judge whether your son will respond well to a strong push to read, or whether he needs to approach reading later. You don't need to get sidetracked by how people tackle reading at school.