Have a look at my personal statement for me please?

[SimpleAsABC]

Any help appreciated:

"My recent work within Scottish charity, ** and the degree which I have undertaken in Childhood Studies have fuelled my ambition to undertake a career in Social Work.

In this position I have been working as a Childcare Worker as part of a staff team providing care for children and families in their own homes. I have gained insight and knowledge into working with parents who have substance abuse issues, mental health issues or who require childcare to go out and work or study. Working within a team to deal with such sensitive and complex issues has been both challenging but also extremely rewarding. Part of my remit is to take part in team meetings, record care logs and to liase with a variety of individuals. In this way, our staff team is only a small part of a much wider team. This team includes (but is not limited to) Social Services, Health Services and psychologists.

Working as part of an diverse team has allowed me to develop the skills required to be an effective practitioner. My communication skills are important as on a day to day basis I can be communicating with a variety of different people, ranging from parents who are anxious about their childcare to members of senior Social Work regarding Child Protection.

Having spent time dealing with Child Protection issues and liasing with Social Work I have developed a knowledge of the tact and confidentiality required in such situations. In this position I have been able to further develop the skills which I'd displayed in earlier work, such as good time keeping, reliability, a high standard of work and being friendly and approachable. These are all skills which I feel would benefit me if I were to be chosen to undertake a place on the Post Graduate course within your establishment.

I feel that my experience at university where I undertook my BA in Childhood Studies.."

Going on to talk about uni next!

[muddleduck]

Hi.
I have worked in admissions (in a very different field) and am happy to give advice if it would help.
At first glance it reads really well, but perhaps a bit too much like a job application - there is a lot about your skills and abilities and not so much about why you are passionate about the course(s) you are applying for. What will this course give you that you are currently lacking?

Good luck