Totally gutted by the feedback

[Serialcatmum]

Been doing a course for a couple of years (level 6) Last bit of it usually consists of 2 observations in the workplace. We aren’t allowed people in at the mo and I’ve been asked to provide evidence of the sessions delivered and recorded online.
Submitted 2.. feedback was so horrific I hung my head in shame.. printed it off, learnt it, adapted, reflected, reread the criteria and went for it a third time.

Just received my feedback. She highlighted the feedback either red/ green. 4 green (positive) feedback and 18 red (negative) feedback. I’m so close to finishing. I have financial implications if I fail and the shame of informing work I have failed and it will cost them considerable amounts per year to deliver the service one been training in..
however, I’m devastated. I can’t bear to keep putting myself out there and failing.
I can’t cope with feeling so terrible. I want to quit.
I’m so sad.
Sorry. Needed to tell someone and be totally dramatic whilst hiding my tears from my husband...

[labyrinthloafer]

Oh no, that sounds horrible! You shouldn't hide your years from your husband?

How have you got on up to now, have you passed other assessments?

I wonder if you can speak to the provider and say you want some extra support and another attempt with a different marker?

[labyrinthloafer]

Years = tears

[DanceMonkey19]

I'm sorry, I don't have any constructive advice but as a teacher I know how personal negative feedback feels and how devastating it is. Be as honest as you can with yourself - is the negative feedback justified at all? I think the advice to ask someone different to review it is good. If they highlight the same issues then you clearly need support, but it may be that your current assessor is being too harsh.

[Serialcatmum]

Wel I have cried in front of him when reading him the feedback. He’s a lovely man but isn’t sure how to react..

My other assignments have passed to “a very high standard”. I’m academic.. I’m research I work hard and out much more into things that strictly needed as I want to give it my best.

She sent me a DVD with some examples and I did all the “homework” and practices I could using friends.

I feel physically sick. I’d hate her to fee I was questioning her judgement. She’s very thorough and honestly, I must just be really bad. I don’t mean this arrogantly but before I work hard (I’m
Not naturally clever or anything) I don’t often fail so badly. Thank you for replying xxx

[Serialcatmum]

@DanceMonkey19 thanks for your response.

Teacher here too 🙋🏼‍♀️

Hoping I feel better in the morning. Maybe one more try. I’m scared of what will happen if I fail again to be honest.. wish I could get a grip. Guess I don’t need to state that I have been known to be quite anxious about feedback.. xxxx

[labyrinthloafer]

I would honestly seek a second opinion. Either they are wrong or you need more supportive feedback. If you passed everything else it is possible they're being too harsh.

If you're an academic you are clever. Just in a very competitive world surrounded by other clever people!

[DanceMonkey19]

Teaching is really tough. When you've put your heart and soul into a lesson and it's then pulled apart you feel horrendous. But the reason you take it to heart is because you care. And that is what makes a good teacher. Kudos for you for filming a lesson too, I'd hate that. And in a funny way I wonder if it's making it easier for your assessor to find fault - she can rewind/pause in a way that she obviously couldn't if she was in the room.

Ask someone else to mark your most recent submission. Who cares if she is pissed off, this is your future.

Have a good cry and let yourself wallow tonight, then after a good sleep tonight get up and dust yourself off in the morning

[labyrinthloafer]

Oh sorry did I misunderstand, I read 'I'm academic' as I'm an academic' !