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Mature student. Totally lost my mojo during lockdown

(20 Posts)
Ohmymg Mon 18-May-20 09:15:03

I’m in my second year. Deadlines approaching for 3 modules. I have a son and I’m a single parent.

I feel like I’ve hit a brick wall, I can’t read, I can’t write. I have no concentration when it comes to any uni work. I feel totally overwhelmed by it. My course leader has been brilliant, deadlines have already been extended for all but as it stands I’m not sure how I can get all of my work in.

Please tell me I’m not alone, some others on my course seem to be managing quite well. I average firsts and I think I’ve beat myself up trying to keep to the same standards. I’m the oldest there, I never struggle with deadlines and hate being “that student” who can’t manage at home

OP’s posts: |
OutwiththeOutCrowd Mon 18-May-20 10:44:03

You are certainly not alone at all in struggling with your mood and motivation.

In fact Dr John Campbell has just been talking about the mental health side of the pandemic on his Youtube channel and how normal and common it is to feel as you do.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=5U4Fa5EyNzE

www.youtube.com/watch?v=rAUdWsFNTtQ

I found his comments quite reassuring and helpful.

I bet there are quite a few on your course who are also finding it difficult. People can find it hard to admit this to others though. They think they are being weak when all they are being is human!

It must make it even harder being a lone parent. Do you have someone you trust with whom you can talk through your feelings, a friend or family member? Can you stop trying to push yourself to work and get out for a walk or do some exercise indoors? Sometimes it helps to walk away for a bit and come back refreshed.

You’ve done so well taking on the course as a lone parent and getting great results. You know you are capable. This is just a blip because current circumstances are so extraordinary.

Good luck.

DoIneed1 Mon 18-May-20 10:46:03

Are you keeping in contact with fellow students? I am doing a part time MSc and the contact with other people in the same situation has been invaluable. And be kind to yourself as well - its a lot to deal with.

tinselvestsparklepants Mon 18-May-20 12:45:56

Hello OP. I'm a lecturer and I'm also struggling! I'm not supposed to admit it to students though. I am finding it really hard to push on through a mountain of work - and I'm supposed to be writing some essays too for a course I'm doing. What we are living through is not normal. Your reaction is. I'd encourage you to keep talking to your tutor- but also remember to give yourself a lot of credit for what you are already achieving.

Ohmymg Mon 18-May-20 16:02:49

Thank you all.

@OutwiththeOutCrowd going to watch those videos with a cuppa now. I’d say my mental health is pretty robust, had a tougher time recently that’s not really covid related but lots of support thankfully. It’s the work where I’ve just hit a brick wall!

@DoIneed1 yeah I’m staying in touch, some seem to be doing brilliantly and others probably more like me. Those with kids finding it tough but the younger ones are also working longer hours in shops and supermarkets so they’re probably feeling it too. I’m really lucky I’m not working!

@tinselvestsparklepants are you my lecturer? smile because she’s just replied to my email this morning with a lovely response saying what you have! I hate sticking my head above the parapet to say “I’m not doing well”. As a lm older student I really value my time at uni, more than I would have at 18/20ish and usually actually enjoy writing and the reading that comes with it. It literally feels like half of my brain isn’t functioning!

My uni has been very good I think, and I’m usually more than happy to plod on with fairly minimal support. I’m with ds 24/7 and he’s been brilliant really, struggles some days and seems to be climbing the walls but for the most part he’s been a joy.

I’ve got a new deadline to work towards and have written myself a loose plan this morning, one module at a time. My lecturer also reminded me about the weighting for marking which has taken some pressure off. Hats off to all teachers/tutors/lecturers for adapting to remote learning so well. Not just learning but all of the support that is there for student like me!

OP’s posts: |
blancheduboiss Mon 18-May-20 16:04:51

Same boat - finally managed to get all of my work done and dusted on Friday. I’ve never felt so unmotivated in my life; it just doesn’t feel normal that we have to focus on uni work during a pandemic! Really hoping for some lenient marking too

Ohmymg Mon 18-May-20 16:46:31

@blancheduboiss has your uni implemented a safety net? There was talk of not being able to average less than semester one marks(for me this would be bloody brill) but as far as I can see it’s only implemented for final years?

OP’s posts: |
QuestionableMouse Mon 18-May-20 16:51:38

I absolutely feel for you. Just been through the same, though I'm a third year and trying to finish my dissertation.

What I found helpful was to set a timer for twenty minutes and work solidly for that time. Then have a short break (I usually wandered in the garden for some fresh air)

I also broke it down into bits and made a list where I could cross off the parts I'd done. Really helped to motivate me!

blancheduboiss Tue 19-May-20 03:36:42

@Ohmymg
I’m not even sure to be quite honest! There’s not been much talk on marks. We did get an email a month or so ago that mentioned people would be progressed fairly (didn’t say anything about year groups), so I think they were hinting along those lines. I bloody
hope so too! I’ll be a wreck waiting for results grin

antipodalpizza Tue 19-May-20 03:58:44

I've quit my second year as I was struggling and university offered zero support angry

eggandeggy Tue 19-May-20 04:44:23

How old is your DS?

Ohmymg Tue 19-May-20 08:06:20

@antipodalpizza that’s awful! Will you have to retake next year?

@eggandeggy he’s 9

OP’s posts: |
antipodalpizza Tue 19-May-20 17:37:35

No, I've quit permanently. All I have had from them since is a demand for fee payment. Zero support.

ScribblyGum Tue 19-May-20 17:44:19

I’m in my third trimester of my first year of my masters and feel just the same. Feels like swimming uphill through custard. I’ve lost all my passion for my subject but I have a sponsored place and work is paying for me to have two study days a week so I feel obliged to keep going.
I’ve broken everything down into tiny little achievable chunks and just keep on at it.
It’ll be worth it in the end but urgh it’s so HARD right now.

DominaShantotto Wed 20-May-20 12:07:18

OP you're not alone - I'm just finishing my first year - not had a mark lower than a first for anything and now it's all just gone to absolute shit. Two kids, both really struggling with the current circumstances, so I've deferred everything I could till August to get them through the school year and uni feels like a distant memory. Already having to consider taking next year suspended if schools are still a mess.

We have a no detriment policy which is really playing into my favour as the baseline marks they're using are ones I scored really high on - but still there's no enthusiasm there to absolutely nail stuff anymore - it's become "chuck it in and expect to get my 40% to pass the year" which I've never been like before.

Friend quit completely - she had weeks of not being able to get in through the floods, and then this and she just threw in the towel and walked away.

justamumof1 Wed 20-May-20 12:46:57

^
My uni also has a no detriment policy but I'm not sure if I'm allowed to defer. I'm a single mum to a 4 year old and it's been so tough. I've studied off campus to complete the other half of my second year modules and I've only managed to submit 2 pieces of coursework out of 4 since the lockdown came in to play. I have 1 more left which I havent started and 4 exams- first one tomorrow. I don't know how ill cope having my 4 year old banging in my ear whilst I try to sit a 3 hour exam. Its multiple choice which makes things easier but still i cant concentrate with the constant whinging, tantrums and attention seeking

DominaShantotto Wed 20-May-20 12:58:19

Do you have a set time to sit the exam? I know ours for the multiple choice ones HAVE to make them available for 24 hours minimum so could you sit it when the 4 year old is in bed? For ones where there's not that leeway our tutors have been trying to release them at different times of day for parent students as well.

justamumof1 Wed 20-May-20 13:08:50

It's a a set time. Tomorrow morning, so DD will be up pestering me every 5 minutes.

I'm looking at dropping out at this point.

scotsllb Wed 20-May-20 18:16:24

This is me as well 😢 Im a single mum and have a 13 year old a 2 year old.
I managed to sit 3 exams all my coursework but couldn't do the last 2 as I have just been so tired, demotivated and depressed through all of this.
I haven't had decent time to study and by the time it's bedtime for my 2 year old I'm so tired I can face my books.
I want to give up I don't know what to do and I'm sure I've failed my exams too

Marsay772 Tue 26-May-20 13:42:47

I'm a mature student, 3 kids one with autism and finding zero motivation ( which showed assignment marks during lockdown compared to my others)
Im suppised to qualify next year but we have been pulled from placement, so I am also worried about losing vital experience.
We start 3rd year modules in june via zoom. There is just no quiet at home to concentrate, which I need...Just lots of shouting, screaming and crying and that's not including the kids!

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