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Are they many of you that have persuaded your dc to go to local universities and stay living at home

(227 Posts)
EleanorReally Sun 29-Sep-19 08:14:00

i am sure i heard this was a thing now, due to expense.

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SleepyKat Sun 29-Sep-19 08:31:24

I wouldn’t go as far as saying I persuaded her at all. But dd goes to the local uni and lives at home. She couldn’t decide between 2 courses, one at the home uni, one a couple of hours away. She really liked both, had a better gut feeling about the one further away but on paper the stats of the home uni were better. She decided on the home uni and I know that saving money was a consideration in her decision.

Decorhate Sun 29-Sep-19 08:35:09

Not personally but some of the pupils at the school I work at, who could have gone to more prestigious unis, stayed local - probably a combination of keeping expenses down & wanting to stay at home for longer for other reasons.

I also have friends who encouraged their dc to stay local because they had ongoing mental health issues & wanted to keep an eye on them, be near to support them in a crisis.

Ragwort Sun 29-Sep-19 08:36:16

My friend’s DD is living at home and just started at the local uni, she is finding it quite difficult to make friends and settle in because she is always worried about getting home (poor travel links where we live).

I understand that it saves huge amounts of money but for me, most of the ‘uni experience’ was about living away from home, becoming more independent, establishing ‘my own’ life etc. Someone else I know bitterly regrets going to a local uni, in fact she’s never left home, now in her third year of full time (professional, well paid job) but still lives at home .... it is not something I would have encouraged my DS to do, but do appreciate the financial difficulties going away to uni can cause.

57Varieties Sun 29-Sep-19 08:40:07

It’s always been more common up here (Scotland) I’d prefer it if my son stayed home mainly for financial reasons and we live in Glasgow where he should be able to study what he wants as there are so many places to study but if he wants to go away or needs to for his course I’ll support him.

I’m not sure bringing forward a few years of independence is worth all the debt moving away just for the sake of it will bring. They all move out eventually anyway!

Faircastle Sun 29-Sep-19 08:41:28

We have encouraged them to look for the course they liked, at the best universities they could get into with their predicted grades; research-based universities with a strong reputation. Our local university is OK but not in that league.

Our family income means that we need to top up the student loan, but we have prepared for this. They also have part-time jobs.

scrunchSE18 Sun 29-Sep-19 08:42:18

Living in London there’s a big choice in terms of ‘local’ unis. My niece commuted from home for her first year then did house share after that. My DS hopes to do the same for a number of reasons. At his uni 50% are commuter students I believe. No persuasion needed but I am glad I can keep an eye on him during his first year at least.

Onceuponatimethen Sun 29-Sep-19 08:44:20

My dc are younger at the moment but I plan to encourage them to go to the local uni

EleanorReally Sun 29-Sep-19 08:46:55

oh yes, I heard that about Scotland, interesting that it is more common to stay at home

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nitgel Sun 29-Sep-19 08:47:03

My son goes local. I didn't persuade him to go there. I left the choice completely for him to make.

EleanorReally Sun 29-Sep-19 08:51:26

Back in the 80s it was absolutely the thing to do, leave home, but due to so much expense some things have got to change.

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Etino Sun 29-Sep-19 08:58:06

As a pp said, in London, so at lest they’ve gone to good unis. I think it’s a proper cultural capital/ soft skills situation that they’re missing out on though. I know of 2 kids- straight A’s, first class degrees from london Russell groups who have failed to get into grad schemes. They’re gorgeous kids but very young.
Mine and other friends ds who went far away have done ‘better’ in terms of vacation travel and opportunities, employment after uni etc.

AuntieMarys Sun 29-Sep-19 09:00:26

No mine went about an hour and a half away. Close enough to get home if necessary but far enough to be independent.

EleanorReally Sun 29-Sep-19 09:01:12

so it is confidence building?

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MaybeDoctor Sun 29-Sep-19 09:09:07

I think I would definitely advise against a long or complicated journey to university. Two hours seems fine to me: far enough for independence, but close enough for an easy journey home for the weekend or for parents to provide help in an emergency.

I think schools have to take some responsibility in not encouraging mad, far-flung choices. Train fares and petrol costs can be prohibitive these days.

beela Sun 29-Sep-19 09:12:23

My dc have decided to stay local and continue living at home. They are currently 8 and 5, so may change their minds nearer the time.

EleanorReally Sun 29-Sep-19 09:12:36

good point maybe doctor.

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EleanorReally Sun 29-Sep-19 09:13:10

at 8 @beela my dd never wanted to leave home, ever grin

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TheCanterburyWhales Sun 29-Sep-19 09:19:42

I've noticed that about half of my final year kids are now staying local. I'd guage (knowing them fairly well) that for every one who does it for financial constraint reasons, there are another 2 or 3 doing it because they see it as the easy option, all the home comforts waiting for you, your ready made group of friends, your social life, most probably your boyfriend or girlfriend close by etc etc)

I was at university in the 80s and on my course of 60 there was one boy who was local- I remember him particularly because we just didn't know him apart from his name and that he lived in Manchester. He dropped out after the first year .

DD is 16 and doesn't even want to go to university in this country! It will absolutely be her choice, and obviously, I'll miss her like mad when she goes..but if she opts for the local one, yes, I'll be disappointed.

Parker231 Sun 29-Sep-19 09:20:01

We live in London but DT’s are both at Uni’s a good distance away. We encouraged them to go where the best course for them was regardless of where it was.

TheCanterburyWhales Sun 29-Sep-19 09:20:31

What is yours doing/planning OP?

imip Sun 29-Sep-19 09:20:35

I’m also in London. I have 2 ASD dc and 2 NT. I think I will encourage ASD kids to try locally, maybe even at some point arranging them to live on campus even though we are close. Ultimately it will depend on which university supports them well also. Some are better than others. The other two can choose what they want, but I like the idea of being local with perhaps doing an exchange year at some point.

I come from Australia, and it’s common to live at home at uni if you live in a capital city. I moved out of home at 21.

WaxOnFeckOff Sun 29-Sep-19 09:21:33

I have 2 currently at uni, ds1 is in 2nd year of a 5 year course and living at home and travelling. Door to door he is under an hour, the train takes between 30 and 40 minutes usually. It was his choice as he doesn't feel ready to live away yet. I'm happy to pay to accommodation for him when and if he wants to.

DS2 is in his 1st year of 4, he is living away in a city approx 2.5 hour drive away. The train takes just over 2 hours but he's not been home yet so not sure how long it will take to get to the station. This was also his choice and he tells me he is loving it. I'm looking forward to seeing him to judge for myself.

Babdoc Sun 29-Sep-19 09:21:41

Mine both lived away from home for uni. One 50 miles away, one 380 miles away. They visited several uni’s that were well regarded for their chosen courses, and picked the best. Fortunately, the far away one had excellent pastoral care and a college system, so the students were all in a small group in each college and well supported by tutors and staff who knew them personally.
Both DDs came home for the holidays, and we kept in touch during term time by phone and social media.
It was very expensive, particularly as I’m widowed and had to support three households on one income, but I wanted them to have the full uni experience, and the freedom to be adults.

Propertyfaux Sun 29-Sep-19 09:21:41

DS at one point had the local university as a strong option. But still would of lived in halls for the first year. He still wanted the university experience even if it was 10 miles away.

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