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I'm really struggling- please tell me it gets easier

(6 Posts)
Tropicalsunshine Tue 24-Sep-19 10:39:46

Hi, I've been lurking around these boards for a while and there seems to be lots of experience out there. I dropped my DD off at the weekend and expected it to be a bit sad but I just can't believe how awful I feel! She had a year off and went travelling so I am used to not having her around but this is completely different. I can't stop crying and feeling that everything I loved has come to an end. I've never felt like this before and it's horrible! Has anyone experienced this and did it get better?

OP’s posts: |
olliepolly Tue 24-Sep-19 11:04:25

Yes it does get easier but takes time. It was walking past the empty room that finished me off 2 years ago with DD1. I expected it to be easier this weekend with DD2 but just as bad if not worse as she is so far away. I’m trying to keep busy but found myself in her room cleaning surfaces rather obsessively! I think we all vary in how easy the goodbyes are and it is a major life event but they come back with all their stuff/washing and stories. My DD2 was having a wobble as we left so that makes it worse I think. I am just looking forward to hearing from her that yes this is the right city/university and the right course for her. Making a few friends would be good too.
So yes it passes but needs time and do not compare yourself to others too much because we are all different. Try to be kind to yourself in the next days.

WheelDecide Tue 24-Sep-19 20:34:05

Come and join us on this thread

Tropicalsunshine Wed 25-Sep-19 15:52:51

#olliepolly thank you for your kind post. I'm trying not to compare. It helps to know that others have been through it and felt better.
#WheelDecide - thank you, I will!

OP’s posts: |
chocatoo Thu 26-Sep-19 11:36:35

Hi there. The thread you have been directed to is mainly about the kids at uni and how they are getting on. I am not worried about how DD will get on - I am pretty confident she will be fine. I am actually worried about me and the DD shaped hole that I need to fill in my life.
I can't get excited about new hobbies and am struggling to work out what I need to do to give me a zest for life.
I am counting my blessings in that I have a nice DH, reasonable health and no immediate money worries but I feel a bit lost.

Serin Thu 26-Sep-19 15:34:22

Is she your only child OP?
Do you have a partner?
Our last one goes next year and part of me is dreading it. DH and I have talked about what we are going to do with our time esp the evenings. We ate out a lot before we had them so maybe we will do that again, start dating each other!
City breaks might become a thing and we would quite like a campervan.
I always thought I'd take up horse riding again but arthritis has put paid to that plan.
If you dont work maybe you could do voluntary work?
It's a big life change having an empty nest, a bit like retirement I guess? But without the pension.

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