How are you handling it? Can anyone help me to help him. I'm at my wits end.
DS 20 2nd attempt at uni. Went 2017 to a uni 1.5hrs away. Loved uni life but hated his v academic course. Came home April 18, has been home 18 months. Did a 1 year arts based college course locally. Was offered unconditional Uni offer back in March for first choice uni and arts based course (course is now only course in the country as very niche and the only 2 other unis have dropped it). New uni is almost 4 hours away.
Last week he's been in tears saying he's anxious about going. After several chats I think it's cos of his girlfriend he's been seeing since Xmas. He says not but I read a list of pros and cons he put in the bin and she featured on every con to going and every pro for staying here.
Girlfriend is a lovely girl studying at our university city 25 miles away. Bit of background...we are not from this town. We moved here summer 2017 (army family) after his A levels, so he has absolutely no previous life here or social circle. We live in a small town 25 miles from a large city. The college he attended was in our town and although he enjoyed the course which confirmed to him it was the correct route to follow (arty not academic) he only made a handful of friends and even they weren't really his bag. He likes them but not 100% clicks with them. He still sees a few of them since college now and again but since meeting his gf in nearby uni city, his life has revolves sround there. He's enjoyed the uni social life alongside her, staying at her place often. He had a part time job briefly that ended at the start of the summer and not managed to find another job yet.
I feel he has NOTHING here other than his lovely gf.
I feel he is putting all his eggs in 1 basket to stay here. There aren't many prospects and he has no plan if he stays other than "get some kind of job". The uni locally offers no courses remotely like the one he planned to do up north.
I feel if he hadnt met his gf life would be dull here and he would be excited to go to uni for a better social life as much as his course but he keeps crying saying he's having doubts about his course and the new uni is too far away.
I just don't know what to advise. He's also stressed cos he made a mistake before on the wrong course and quit and came home and says he's scared he's making a mistake. His attitude towards his new uni is v negative. He just seems off and rather critical of the social media groups he's been added to 're his new uni.
Any words of wisdom?? I'm in knots seeing him so emotionally wrought. He is normally so level headed and chilled out this really isn't like him.
I did say the other day to him, oh just dont go then because i lost my patience with his negative attitude. I said its not the be all and end all to go to uni. If he wanted to stay here that's fine but he'd need a job pronto if not studying but he's been upset about that too. He said he's not.happy about that option either.
I strongly feel that without his gf..... what does he have here?? The few old college friends he does have are off to unis miles away so he will have gf and no one else until he finds a job. He currently has no hobbies other than cinema, gym and bars etc all which he doe with his gf and her uni circle of friends.
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Anyone's else's dc suddenly v anxious about leaving for uni? Help
7 replies
GrimGirl · 17/08/2019 09:52
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