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When or how can DS defer a his offer?

(11 Posts)
ProperVexed Sun 10-Mar-19 16:54:39

DS (18) is in final year or level 3 BTEC. He has applied to university and received 5 conditional offers. He has got as far as selecting a firm offer and a backup. It seems unlikely that he will make the actual grades but we think the university might have him anyway (not a popular or oversubscribed course.)
He is now having a huge rethink and over the past few weeks has hinted that he doesn't want to continue in education at the moment. We have had a frank discussion and he feels that he would like to work for a year and then go to university (if he still wants to). I have no problem with this as I want him to really want to go .....it's too expensive to go, and fail as he doesn't want to be there.
So, should he
1) wait for the results to see if firm choice want him, but then defer (if allowed)
2) contact the uni now and ask to defer
3) withdraw application and resubmit when he is reall sure that he wants to go.
Any advice would be welcome.

OP’s posts: |
NiceNewShiny Sun 10-Mar-19 17:00:07

A mixture of 1 and 2.
There’s no harm in asking the Uni for advice. I bet they would happily tell you whether your son could defer now or later.

ProperVexed Mon 11-Mar-19 06:59:35

nice Thanks for replying. I think I'll get him to ring them.

OP’s posts: |
NiceNewShiny Mon 11-Mar-19 07:32:45

I've four kids who have gone to Uni over the past 7 years and we've always found the Uni admissions and other Uni staff that we have spoken to to be really helpful. I'd never be shy to suggest to the kids to call

ifonly4 Mon 11-Mar-19 17:54:47

It's worth checking with uni's if they'll let you defer, so he knows where he stands. DD spoke to someone at Edinburgh and they immediately told her their policy.

ifonly4 Mon 11-Mar-19 17:59:11

Personally, I wouldn't want DD to withdraw to allow her time to make the right decision. After exams, he'll have 2-3 months to look for a job, hopefully even start one before results and have a feel for it

whereshalligo Fri 22-Mar-19 06:53:40

My Ds has just deferred from 2019 to 2020 he wasn't 100% sure of the process. He picked his firm and insurance E mail replied to his offer letters and asked to defer. Both replied extremely quickly saying yes no problem just confirm back that's want you want to do and it was done, very easy. He does still have to meet the conditions of his offer in August.

simbobs Wed 27-Mar-19 19:12:57

I could have written this as we are in the same position. I am not sure that my DS will go ahead with uni if he defers, but I am equally unsure that he will succeed if he goes in Sept. I am about to get him to check whether he could defer just to keep it on the table and give a framework to the academic year ahead.

simbobs Thu 28-Mar-19 15:34:49

As an update to the above he has now decided that he does want to go to uni but school want him to drop one of the BTECs as he will probably not manage to complete the sheer volume of work in time (not all blame for this is DS). I am really unsure how he will fare with just 2, and even if it is worth the bother. All of this just makes him feel down and want to go out rather than work. Hey ho...

ProperVexed Thu 28-Mar-19 19:28:54

Hi Simbobs. I'm sorry you are in a similar position. My DS is now pretty sure that he isn't going to university ever. In fact it is all I can do to stop him leaving college now. He intends to leave home and live with his friends because he hates us. He is completely unable to see the bigger picture. I am in despair! Chanting "this too will pass" is not helping! The only thing keeping me going is the fact that his older brother was an unholy sod at 18 but is now quite nice. He didn't go to university until he was 20 so it worked out for him. Good luck

OP’s posts: |
simbobs Fri 29-Mar-19 08:19:02

Gosh, our situations are so similar! Mine would move out too if he had the option. He seldom comes home at the weekend as he can stay over with friends then. His sister is coming home from uni tomorrow so I'm hoping she can have a proper talk with him. He really can't see the bigger picture either and refuses to engage in proper discussion; I'm sure he was an ostrich in a previous life! Good luck to you and your, too.

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