Uni of Exeter

[top2patooties]

Hi everyone,

Looking for some perspective if possible.

My daughter has had an offer from Exeter, her course has entry of AAA.

Exeter have made her an offer and have reduced the grades to ABB for her to join them.

Me and my husband didn't get the opportunity to go to Uni so navigating this process is all new to us. Our daughter is a reasonably high achiever, from a city comprehensive school in the Midlands, and she is very passionate about her subject - we are a really ordinary family with an average joint income!

My query is this, people around us are saying my DD won't fit in at Exeter, most of the student population will be from very wealthy backgrounds, prestigious independent schools etc etc so DD is unlikely to fit in easily or be able to compete financially with those who are not on a strict student budget like she will be.
Basically people are saying she might not find her group or people with similar backgrounds to her, so making friends will be an issue??!

Her other choices are uni of manchester, Leeds, Sheffield and Warwick.

As I have no clue about going to uni or uni life if anyone has any experiences of this they can share with me that would be so useful.

I don't want for her not to aim high if it is the best place for her course but at the same time fitting in and friendships will be hugely important to her happiness at uni!

Thanks for your help!

[NotUmbongoUnchained]

They’re being ridiculous! Exeter is a great uni and it’s full of every different kind of student. She will have a great time, I did!

[titchy]

Your friends are talking shite. State educated dc at Exeter and loves it. The state/private divide really doesn't matter. Sure my dc has lots of friends educated privately - it doesn't matter one jot. They also have lots of state educated friends. They all seem to have the same budget, roughly equivalent to the full loan. No travel costs as they walk everywhere. Rent in second+ years typically £130 a week though.

[ErrolTheDragon]

The most important things when choosing a uni are, IMO:

1. the course - I'm assuming she's got that part right and they're similar with maybe some likelihood of difference in offer so she can pick a firm and insurance
   
   
2. the type of location - campus, big city, smaller city - is it a place the student can imagine living?
   
   For the record, ~70% of Exeter students are state educated:
   
   thetab.com/uk/2018/02/02/these-are-officially-the-unis-with-the-most-private-school-students-59337
   
   But in any case, as others have said, it really shouldn't matter much. My DD goes to one of the unis with a somewhat higher proportion of privately educated ... doesn't seem to matter, she has a mix of friends from both sectors, quite a few international students ... it just makes the uni experience more interesting!

[senua]

people around us are saying it's not for the likes of you my DD won't fit in at Exeter
people around us are saying know your place my DD won't fit in at Exeter

If she is put off by these nay-sayers then they are right. I hope she has got more resilience than that.
For what it's worth, Exeter isn't my favourite university but that BBB offer is quite something.

[3catsandadog]

My DS is at Exeter and there is a real mix of backgrounds. Both campuses are great and so is the city. They also seem to match them really well with flatmates in first year for halls with the initial questionaire sent.

[ErrolTheDragon]

If she is put off by these nay-sayers then they are right.

Not if they're talking rubbish, based on misconceptions and their own insecurities.

[hellsbells99]

My DD is from a state comp and is now studying at Leeds Uni - the majority of her friends there are from private schools or selective state schools. I didn’t expect that at all. But it’s fine.

[GoodHeavensNoImAChicken]

That’s rubbish. She’ll be fine

[SugarInMyTeaPlease]

Errol, I think you’ve misunderstood what Senua is saying.

[Xenia]

Warwick and Exeter were on some of my children's list of 5. Of course she will be fine there. In fact if she is with people with high expectations she might do better than at some other universities.

Also there is nothing poisonous and wicked about a child whose parents earn a lot of money. They are just teenagers and they are not infected with some capitalist virus by evil parents. University is a chance to mix with all kinds of people and to break all of us who go out of our own narrow confines of that for which we feel comfortable.

[Oblomov18]

Exeter has a lot of hoi polloi darhlings. But lots of very normal state educated normal people aswell. She'll be fine.
It is a very good uni. Maybe quite quiet? If that's her thing?

[SugarInMyTeaPlease]

hoi polloi darhlings. Great attitude there, probably the same as those telling OP her DD won’t fit in.

[Xenia]

The "hoi polloi" are the commoners - so I think the wrong phrase was used there! They mean the opposite of the hoi polloi.

[ReflectentMonatomism]

That's shite. My nephew is currently there, and none of that rings true.

All selective universities have bubbles of privilege. I lecture at a classic metropolitan redbrick, but there are parts of campus filled with elegant young women with perfect grooming and expensive clothes. The same would be true at any of our peer universities, as we all have rates of private education at or around 25%, and although most of them are lovely, you encounter the occasional rich and entitled kid (although they usually grow out of it by the end of the first year).

So that's some students, in some departments, forming a small bubble, for a while. Most students aren't like that.

[ErrolTheDragon]

Errol, I think you’ve misunderstood what Senua is saying.

I don't believe so. Youngsters can - quite reasonably- be influenced by the opinions of older people, even if those opinions are outdated or plain wrong.

[senua]

I don't believe so.

I think you did!
Did you read the next sentence?

[lynnepot]

University is all about meeting and working with people from all backgrounds. Yes there maybe a public school element but there will also be international students and state school students. Exeter is a lovely city in a great location with beaches and countryside on the doorstep. They will be fine.

[ShalomJackie]

Exeter seriously want her to make her an offer of ABB.

Don't listen to people who have misconceptions about places they have never been to!

[SugarInMyTeaPlease]

Diversity goes both ways. People always shout about the need for the rich to mix with the poor and experience ‘the real world’, well the poor too can mix with the rich to see their part of the world. I think uni is an excellent place to do this and hopefully demystify some silly myths.

[ErrolTheDragon]

Did you read the next sentence?

Of course. A youngster being put off one uni (when she has other good choices) because of what adults are telling her isn't about a lack of resilience.

The inequities in higher education aren't helped at all by blaming students if they're badly advised.

[senua]

The inequities in higher education aren't helped at all by blaming students if they're badly advised.
Pupils today have a whole internet of information and advice available to them. If they can't sift through that then they don't deserve to be at a top university.
The DD had the courage to apply, backed by her parents. Hopefully she researched thoroughly and had the sense to go to Open Days or Offer Holder Days. Why would she back out now based on what "people around us" say - what expertise do they bring to the party?

[SugarInMyTeaPlease]

Errol what Senua is saying is, if the of OP’s DDis put off an excellent uni due to ignorant mutterings of other people then she is a light weight and probably not suited to the rigours of Exeter anyway, but if she lets their silly gossip roll off her back, digs her heels accepts that offer then she’ll probably fit right in.

[senua]

Yeah, what Sugar said.

[SugarInMyTeaPlease]

Errol just see your last post. Ah well! I disagree. Resilience is about pushing back against the odds, springing back to position. I’m assuming she researched Exeter before applying, if all that will crush her goal is a few odd comments from random strangers
who have never been there, then clearly she’s not cut out for it.

[Peaseblossom22]

I assume they are saying they will reduce the offer if , and only if, your dd makes them her firm . She should not do this until she has heard from all her applications and has all her offers etc in front of her . There is no rush the deadline for firm and insurance is the begining of May . For able candidates it is a buyers market and she should try to keep her head , us Exeter her first choice anyway or is she just being swayed by the tempting bribe of a lower offer