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Talk to other parents whose children are preparing for university on our Higher Education forum.

Higher education

Oxbridge Freshers 2018

944 replies

OhYouBadBadKitten · 01/10/2018 12:08

old thread

A chat/support thread for parents of undergrads who have entered the quite frankly slightly odd world of Oxbridge. Grin

Apparently we are parents to undergrads now Confused

OP posts:
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HesMyLobster · 01/10/2018 12:38

Thankyou Kitten!
DD has sent a very excited message today saying that she's going to her mum's for tea!
Errrrr. . . Confused

Was totally confused till I remembered the college-parents thing!


Frankly slightly odd is an accurate description!!

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HesMyLobster · 01/10/2018 12:40

We've also realised what we forgot to pack! (Knew there must be something!)
Her sub fusc is still hanging on her bedroom door!! 🤦🏻‍♀️

Off to the post office now to send it to her!

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bengalcat · 01/10/2018 13:00

Why is Oxbridge odd ?

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HesMyLobster · 01/10/2018 13:20

Bengalcat Because of the quirky traditions, funny names for things and whole new vocabulary!
Meant in a lighthearted way though!

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OhTheRoses · 01/10/2018 15:19

Hello and thank you. Was having today off but cancelled to come to work so I didn't have to knock about the house with her gone.

She seems OK. Has met a friend from school, who went up last year and same college, and that helped her find some moorings I think.

Good wishes to all.

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Bakeandyarn · 01/10/2018 15:35

lobster aaagh! Forgetting the sub fuse was my middle of the night panic. Probably because some years ago my brother got married at Gretna Green and we got as far as Carlisle (from the south west of England) when I realised we had forgotten our wedding clothes, they were hanging up in our hallway! DS has gone today and I feel quite bereft, hopefully in a few days when he’s settled it will pass.

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Bakeandyarn · 01/10/2018 15:36

bengalcat I’d never heard of “plodge” till last week!

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ErrolTheDragon · 01/10/2018 17:42
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Hubbleisback · 01/10/2018 17:55

Well DS goes tomorrow and still ploughing through maths assignments. Meanwhile dutiful mother -gullible fool- gets on with packing!! Hmm

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HesMyLobster · 01/10/2018 18:04

It's all ok, have posted recorded delivery and it will be there tomorrow morning.
Luckily she doesn't need it until first formal hall on Thursday Wink

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roisin · 01/10/2018 18:06

Cambridge gowns are much nicer than Oxford, which are just like a thin black pillow case; but it doesn't stop them borrowing/stealing each others, just only within their college.

ds2's college parents were third years, but also had college children when they were second years; so he has college brothers and sisters in the year above. Hmm Those siblings also had children last year, so he had college nieces and nephews who were in the same year as him... Grin This year he has nine college great nieces and nephews among the freshers. Confused

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ErrolTheDragon · 01/10/2018 18:16

They can get quite an extended family. Also apparently some people co-parent or just decide to espouse their best buddies ... so I've heard of wives and mistresses (all as far as I know entirely platonic!)Grin

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Witchend · 01/10/2018 18:47

Good luck to all.

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Hubbleisback · 01/10/2018 20:16

Thank you for helping me with packing ideas - nearly there!! Wine

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Lucycat · 01/10/2018 20:18

Had a bit of a teary phone call from DD at about 5.30pm when we got in from work. We dropped her off yesterday and she was great, we were happy and the texts I got today were positive too. I just think her staircase is mainly 3rd years and she feels that everyone else seems happy and really sociable. She's spent lots of time in the JCR, been to a staircase social last night and lunch with college parents today followed by meetings with tutors, freshers dinner and a club night tonight. 😮
I tried to reassure her that it was perfectly normal to feel like this, it's a big adjustment, she was tired and despite appearances I bet everybody has a little cry at some point during freshers. She said she needed a hug 😢
I now feel a bit hollow.

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Hubbleisback · 01/10/2018 20:35

Lucycat sounds like she has been sociable too. Nobody can tell how other people are when they are alone. So much to take on - being over-tired is my bet. Flowers.

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Hubbleisback · 01/10/2018 20:37

DS is in the strangest mood and we're not even there yet.

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Lucycat · 01/10/2018 20:44

Hubbleisback thank you for your reassurance- I think she's over tired too, I have advised a quiet read of Harry Potter for half an hour (her happy place) or a few episodes of a TV programme that makes her smile. Friends or Mock the Week I suspect.
Hope all is well for you all too 🌼

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Hubbleisback · 01/10/2018 20:49

Snap with the Harry Potter - we have been watching for last few days - DS's happy place too! Wink

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riverbank23 · 01/10/2018 21:04

Dropped my Dd off yesterday, she is also very tired due to the long drive, someone was taking a shower at 4am which didn't help. Her room is really small with no sink, there are 2 showers at the top of the stairs with a single shower curtain that separates them, so she's anxious about that. Don't think shes made any friends yet, I feel so sad.

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YippeeTeenager · 01/10/2018 21:08

That made me smile, DD watched Harry Potter a couple of times from beginning to end in the week before she went! Cheered on by the fact that her godson believed she was really going to Hogwarts.

Lucycat, it sounds like your DD is doing a great job of making an effort and it’s bound to feel over-whelming at times. Their itinerary is really busy and without familiar faces it must be very tough. Once she’s found one likely buddy she’ll feel better.

Good luck Hubble. Strange moods just before going are understandable really, but fingers crossed it all goes well. Flowers

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Hubbleisback · 01/10/2018 21:41

Early days riverbank23. I am sure it will be a different story in a few days. Flowers

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YippeeTeenager · 01/10/2018 21:45

Riverbank, thinking of you and your DD. They seem very good at keeping them busy and giving them lots of opportunities to mix so fingers crossed she has a better day tomorrow.

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goodbyestranger · 01/10/2018 21:49

A day is nothing. There can be way, way, way too much hype. I know of one fresher this year who's sad one day in and I feel sorry for the fresher but honestly it is only one day in. It feels rubbish but a few days can - and almost certainly will - transform things completely. Tell them to keep in contact and keep reassuring them that they're so not alone.

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goodbyestranger · 01/10/2018 21:51

Hope all goes well tomorrow Hubble.

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