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Talk to other parents whose children are preparing for university on our Higher Education forum.

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Talk to other parents whose children are preparing for university on our Higher Education forum.

Higher education

Preparing for uni... Why the mega shopping trips??

140 replies

Blushah · 26/08/2018 16:52

I must be missing something, here!

All over FB there are mums people dashing from shop to shop to shop, maxing out credit cards; madly adding to their 'must-have' lists and stressing about what they've forgotten for DC's uni.

Now, of course there's stuff that will need to be bought, but don't most people have a spare pillow? Duvet? Towels? Duvet cover? Bedside light? Crockery? Cutlery? Tin opener? Sharp knife and chopping board? Doesn't their DC already own clothing? Tech?

One person (helpfully) posted that a shop had a reduced saucepan set- she bought two, one for this year, one for next.....'when she goes into a shared house'...

Or is it just me?

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OhtheHillsareAlive · 26/08/2018 17:01

I still have the frying pan I was given for my birthday just before I left for university. There were 2 saucepans in the present as well - one large one milk pan - but those have gone the way of all flesh. I started university 40 years ago. Took bed linen from home, and then bought crockery & cutlery from charity shops. It was fun!

Hoozz · 26/08/2018 17:04

It's a way of coping with the impending empty nest. I did the same when first DC went to uni and it was kind of comforting to know they were well kitted out.

ThroughThickAndThin01 · 26/08/2018 17:05

No we don’t have spare stuff hanging around. Now we have Ds3 going to uni, and we have to buy duvet, pillows, sheets, kettle, crockery, cutlery, clothes for him. Not sure why that’s hard to understand.

shouldwestayorshouldwego · 26/08/2018 17:06

Surely it makes more sense to buy it in your university town so less to transport?

ShatnersBassoon · 26/08/2018 17:09

Lots of people don't hold spares of any of those things.
They're trying to give their kids a comfortable first taste of life away from home, and want to treat them to some nice things.
Also, how do you know they're using all their available credit? Surely they're not posting about that on Facebook.

Blushah · 26/08/2018 17:11

Thick - um, well, I'd imagine that if you already had 2 other DC at or post-uni, you've exhausted your 'spares' supply....

Personally I will be turning out the airing cupboard, the pan cupboard and the utensils drawer; kit DS out with what we agree are the 'essentials' and he can buy what he's forgotten or discovers he needs at his uni town.

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Hoozz · 26/08/2018 17:14

Surely it makes more sense to buy it in your university town so less to transport
Driving a long way and dropping off in an unfamiliar city was stressful enough without having to find shops as well.
Besides it's fun helping them shop for their own little bit of independence. Mine did take some stuff from home, old plates etc. jokingly known as the family heirlooms.

Blushah · 26/08/2018 17:14

Shatners - the term 'maxed out CC' has been used on FB, yes.

I guess I don't feel all that stressed about DS going as he is 19, and he's 'OK' about it all right now!

But each to their own. I can see why it might be part of a 'coping mechanism' if you are experiencing 'empty nest syndrome'.

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Blushah · 26/08/2018 17:14

'Family heirlooms' -.

I like that!

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ThroughThickAndThin01 · 26/08/2018 17:15

Yes I have exhausted my supplies, but I didn’t have any spare in the first place. Each dc has two sets of bedding at home (one In use, one in the wash) Therefore need new bedding, duvet, pillows for somewhere which isn’t home. Why is that hard to Understand?

Blushah · 26/08/2018 17:24

Admittedly, DS's room won't look like this.... From the UCAS site!

Preparing for uni... Why the mega shopping trips??

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ragged · 26/08/2018 17:24

Some folk have big prejudice for all new. Like you hear about having to buy all new school uniform every year. DD will probably be very embarrassed if I send her off to Uni with 'old' pots and pans & towels. I would be very embarrassed to waste money on all new, myself.

OddBoots · 26/08/2018 17:25

We had to buy a few bits but we had no major shop. Once we got there we went to the local Tesco to do a basics food shop and it was pretty crazy with people buying clothes airers and all sorts.

DS has come home with the stuff and a couple of extra bits he got himself while away (cocktail making kit included!!) and they sit in boxes ready for shipping him back again in a couple of weeks.

Blushah · 26/08/2018 17:25

Sorry, Thick, I've obviously touched a raw nerve with you; you seem rather upset about it!

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glintandglide · 26/08/2018 17:27

You’re getting them stuff to start their new life- mums spare duvet cover and old towels aren’t exactly much of a send off are they?

ThroughThickAndThin01 · 26/08/2018 17:28

Do I? Sorry if I’ve come across as upset, I’m not at all. Thought I was just explaining why families didn’t have spare everything about the home. We don’t.

SpoonBlender · 26/08/2018 17:31

My university gear was almost all stuff we had in the house already. Dad did a £100 (1990!) supermarket shop to fill in any gaps - mostly filling the food cupboard and a couple of cooking knived, IIRC. Maybe a new duvet? They are dirt cheap though.

All that stuff went back to home with me at the end of Uni, and then a year or so later I moved out to live with DP and we bought new stuff for ourselves so the surviving bits were still at mums until she passed. I don't think any of it was kept for sentimental value!

ShirleyPhallus · 26/08/2018 17:31

Thick doesn’t sound upset at all!

Blushah · 26/08/2018 17:31

I guess the Big Shoppers family dynamic is different to ours. I don't think that DS will care less about taking family spares along- but then, both he and I are quite chilled about the uni thing.

I guess there's still time for me to burst into tears in Dunelm!

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SummerStrong · 26/08/2018 17:32

Parents & DC are excited about the next exciting step, empty nest syndrome etc. I think maxing our credit cards is a bit of an exaggeration tbh.

Buying DC bedding & kitchen utensils and knowing they are all kitted out with toiletries, stationery etc. is comforting.

I'm baffled OP doesn't get that.

Blushah · 26/08/2018 17:33

Spoon - yes, my uni stuff was very much house-hold stuff (1979- I win! )...

But then our parents were far less forensically involved in our higher education!

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catinboots9 · 26/08/2018 17:33

OP is clearly far superior to other parents

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glintandglide · 26/08/2018 17:34

It’s nothing to do with being relaxed about university

Blushah · 26/08/2018 17:35

Summer - my DS will be well kitted out- it's just that I don't get why it all has to be new! Like two new saucepan sets? One for this year, one for next? What are they made of? Tin foil??!

It could be argued that familiar stuff from home might be more comforting that 'all new'?

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Blushah · 26/08/2018 17:36

Cat- you're confusing 'lack of frantic shopping and list making' for 'superior'.

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