Daughter going into 3rd year at uni but no-one to flatshare with(21 Posts)
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I'm so distressed to hear that my daughter's flatmate from this year is planning to share with some other girls next year. (She insists that they haven't fallen out) This means that my DD will have to look for someone to share with or find somewhere by herself. She is not very good at getting herself organised and worries about asking friends to do things with her. She spent all last summer at home and hardly saw any of her old friends from school. I am so concerned about her but feel so helpless. Does anyone have any advice?
Some third years go back into halls.
Yes, lots go back into halls - they tend to put the older ones together. I'd do that if I were her.
At my uni (a long time ago now!) my friend moved back into halls for 3rd year. I would've been happy to live with her, but she had physical disabilities & said she found it easier in halls.
We definitely remained friends though.
Could this be an option for your DD?
Ds had 2 options for 3rd year housing fall through as people who planned to go abroad changed their minds. He's hopefully found a group of 2nd years to share with now. Your dd needs to swallow her pride and join the uni fb page or go to student services who may organise an event or group for those still looking. Ds also applied for halls but would not know the outcome until end of term.
Most universities will have a (virtual) board where people post vacancies. She won't have much choice who she lives with but people are often looking for one person to make up numbers, although it's quite late in the academic year to be doing this.
Have a look at this website.
It Lists flatshares.
Oh that’s tough. But don’t lose heart - A very similar thing happened to me at the end of my first year at uni. My friend and I were supposed to be sharing with another two girls. They dropped out last minute for spurious reasons to flatshare with someone else. We were so upset, as this was the day before housing lists were released and you had to be in groups of four ideally as that was what all the houses were designed for. I happened to bump into another girl from my course that day who was in the exact situation-she and her best friend (who was absent from uni at that time due to a bereavement) had been let down last minute. We decided to share together and have literally been best friends ever since (nearly twenty years). Those girls have seen me through thick and thin and I love them like sisters. 💕
Most universities have a register of people looking for flats/flatmates, and I know my son went to a couple of evenings run by his uni, designed so that students who didn't know each other could find flatmates.
And there are loads of forums for this sort of thing.
Best she has a look at the uni website, and checks the accommodation options.
Don't worry too much, she is 3rd year. Lots of the students dealing with this are only 18 and first time away from home. This is what university is about, as well the academics; becoming independent in a kind of supported way!
Oh what a shame for her.
I'm sure the uni accommodation office would be able to help her out tho.
I actually went home for my third year, wasn't into the constant going out, and I wanted to concentrate on my studies, I did halls in year 1 which was ok nice people then they all turned into alcoholics in the second year never going in and 2 of them dropping out and I spent more than half that year at my parents because I couldn't cope with the noise and constant partying and guests in the house and I only needed to be uni 2 days a week and a third day every 2-3 weeks for tutorial which I often didn't bother with for the sake of an hour!!! I used to get the train, it was only an hour and a half and saved me lots of rent too (these were the days the course fees were £3000 per year!)
People say "it's the experience" which yes it is but personal happiness is really important too
ds uni housing office were not really that proactive. Are there any private halls nearby? They cost significantly more but are usually high standard and inclusive of bills.
I have a DS going into 3rd year. His house sharing plans kept falling through and current house mates are doing a year in industry next year. He's going back into halls. It's an expensive option but he is relieved to have it sorted.
Of course not all unis have sufficient halls for first years let alone 3rd years.
OP, I have no advice but feel for your dd.
I intentionally rented in my final year with people I didn't know well (I think the housing office put me in touch with people who were looking for people to share with). It meant I didn't get involved in any domestic drama just concentrated on my work.
This happened to my DS. We used studentpad.co.uk to link up with other students, and he found a place very quickly with people who’ve become great friends.
There are loads of students who look for new flat/house shares every year for one reason or another. It is worth her asking around her friends or others on her course to see if anyone who has a room going spare where they are living.
Oh and looking on her uni's Facebook page as loads of rooms get advertised there.
My 3rd year Uni DD went into private halls - worked out the same as private house share in her area as all bills inc and there is a gym on site.
My 3rd year DD successfully looked for ads for existing flatshares on gumtree. She also advertised herself as a flatmate. It worked out very well.
Your DD could advertise her current flatmate's room on spareroom or gumtree or maybe studentroom.
Posted too soon. Sorry.
I'm sure it will work out for her. She might make a lovely new friend.
Very best of luck to your dd OP.
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