What are your dcs planning to do if they graduate this year?

(35 Posts)
blueskypink Sat 17-Feb-18 21:26:20

- if they're not doing a vocational degree?

DS graduates this year but has made no plans other than a vague notion of travelling a bit. He doesn't want to 'rush into anything and make any wrong decisions'.

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GnomeDePlume Sun 18-Feb-18 08:05:18

Which subject is your DS studying blueskypink?

DD1 (Biochemistry) is currently deciding whether to start a masters degree or see if she can get a job back at the place where she had her placement.

I think there is a risk with time out after graduation of it becoming open ended. Sometimes no decision is worse than the wrong decision.

goodbyestranger Sun 18-Feb-18 08:36:41

I wouldn't have any issue at all with my DC having time out to reflect on what direction they wanted to take, if they felt they needed it. But then none has ever had a gap year prior to uni. I think a break can be very positive.

NiceCardigan Sun 18-Feb-18 08:50:01

DS doesn’t have any clear plans yet but he seems so busy with his course that I’m not nagging for details at this stage.

blueskypink Sun 18-Feb-18 09:04:25

Gnome - he's doing geography. He is working incredibly hard on his dissertation at the moment so I'm not nagging, just making the odd casual enquiry.

When I graduated (English) I felt cut adrift and bewildered about what to do next. At that stage you have always had a clear route to take and the biggest decisions have been what subjects to choose and, latterly, where to study. I believe though that it's better to just jump into something than procrastinate. Even if it's awful it helps shape your thinking on what you do want to do.

And he has very little work experience so I think he just needs to get on with it!

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GnomeDePlume Sun 18-Feb-18 09:13:51

DD is in a similar position re course work. She is finding the final year quite hard after a year away working.

Without a doubt procrastination is the thief of time.

IMO something is better than nothing

MadisonAvenue Sun 18-Feb-18 09:23:39

Our son is taking a year out to work full time at the job he's worked part time since sixth form. He says that he needs a break from education and he also wants money to travel (nothing major, just the occasional city break).

He's started seriously looking into post grad courses for 2019 start though so he is at least planning ahead.


BrownTurkey Sun 18-Feb-18 09:31:01

Left last year, travelled abroad to stay with an overseas student he met at uni, with a plan to stay for a year and work. Jobs have been harder to find than expected (lots of really exploitative agencies), and the friend has fallen out with him, so he is now coming back early and actively job hunting for UK jobs.

blueskypink Sun 18-Feb-18 09:33:25

That sounds great Madison. DS is very clear he's done with education. But has NO idea at all what he might do. I think he would make a brilliant teacher or should consider the forces - he's a great team player, likes to 'belong' and is very sociable, well-liked. But these are ideas I've just floated. Don't want to push him in a particular direction and get blamed for a wrong career choice!

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blueskyinmarch Sun 18-Feb-18 09:37:32

My DD1 had a year out after graduating as she had poured all her efforts into getting her degree (a First i may add so worth it). She came home, got a job waitressing then did a stint volunteering overseas. She came back with renewed vigour for attacking the job market and within a month had got herself a great job in London. Almost 3 years later she is still in that job. She loves it and is glad she didn't just leap into anything when she graduated.

senua Sun 18-Feb-18 10:50:22

Without a doubt procrastination is the thief of time.

But, there again, you're a long time dead. This generation will have to work until they are 70 (at least!). There is an argument for enjoying their "retirement" now while they have health and strength but no emcumbrances.

blueskypink Sun 18-Feb-18 11:46:42

Senua - not sure how they can enjoy their retirement now without an income!

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senua Sun 18-Feb-18 12:14:37

Young adults don't need much money: they just need to scrape together the original ticket price, a bit of emergency money and then go grape-picking or chaleting or whatever. Travel can be cheap.

blueskypink Sun 18-Feb-18 12:24:10

I don't think many would want to do that for more than a month or two Senua. Certainly ds wouldn't. I'm all in favour of ds having a break and a holiday but not enjoying his retirement before he finds a job!

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GnomeDePlume Sun 18-Feb-18 13:08:23

I come from the generation before gap years/'going travelling' became a thing. You graduated then you started work.

Now I am in a position where I sometimes recruit graduates. An aimless year of travelling/navel contemplation does not impress.

One of the hard parts of joining the world of work for the first time is the 'got to' nature of it. No skipping the first part of the day and catching up from someone else's work, 5 weeks holiday per year and to start only being able to take the holiday you have actually accrued.

You have to just get on with it. It wont get easier for putting it off for a year of grape picking.

MadisonAvenue Sun 18-Feb-18 13:32:23

blueskypink our son actually wants to go into teaching so really I can't blame him from wanting a break from education.
I think too that they're under so much pressure with exams and course work from year 10 until the end of university, it's pretty relentless from starting GCSEs up until finishing their degrees.

He already has a week in New York planned with his girlfriend for later in the year, he's more of a city break person than a grape picker wink

blueskypink Sun 18-Feb-18 13:38:41

Gap years were very unusual in my day too. If taken at all they were between school and university, not university and work. Also in my day, the idea of living at home again after, in my case 5 years away was just anathema. The generation gap between me and my parents was insurmountable. But for our dcs living at home is perhaps too relaxed and easy going. Their social life carries on in much the same way at home with no raised eyebrows or outright disapproval.

Coming out of education at 23 I decided to give London a go as my best friend had just started working there. For me it was just about finding any job that would cover my living costs. A very boring admin job introduced me to the world of work and helped me start to think about what I didn't want to do as well as what I did. And that set me on a path where I was eventually in the right place at the right time to get a job I loved. Similar thing happened to DH so I suspect it's not uncommon.

I really do think you just have to get out there and try things. My worry is ds will spend too long having a break from all his hard work!

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TheAlchemist101 Sun 18-Feb-18 21:52:42

Long time since I graduated but is the graduate milk round still a thing most people on my course sorted themselves with a job in their final year using the milk round. A few lucky ones managed to defer their job offers for a year and went travelling.

blueskypink Sun 18-Feb-18 22:01:12

I don't remember the milk round being much use in my day and certainly ds isn't particularly enamoured with careers advice at uni confused

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goodbyestranger Sun 18-Feb-18 23:47:30

Gnome the stuff and nonsense approach is all well and good but actually they don't 'have to get on with it'. And absolutely yes to long time dead. There's a big difference to having a break and a chance to refresh and plain lassitude. Also, why should one disapprove of a DC having a social life? confused

blueskypink Mon 19-Feb-18 00:15:13

Has anyone disapproved of a dc having a social life? confused

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LemonysSnicket Mon 19-Feb-18 01:35:23

I graduated this year ( MA aged 22) and have begun a badly paid but very respectable apprenticeship.

Sounds refractive but all but 2 of 11 of us have degrees including an oxbridge.

LemonysSnicket Mon 19-Feb-18 01:38:00

But it took me 3 months after grad to get that.

Let them try, I was rejected from about 40 different jobs before o got this one.

goodbyestranger Mon 19-Feb-18 08:19:56

blueskypink I thought this sentence of yours implied that getting serious about the world of world meant cutting back on social life or risking your wrath:

Their social life carries on in much the same way at home with no raised eyebrows or outright disapproval.

I tend to think a year out after uni is potentially more beneficial than a year between school and uni, for my own DC at least. Only the latest to graduate has ever had time off and I'd like them all to have a sabbatical at some point - and straight after uni seems to be the obvious place.

senua Mon 19-Feb-18 08:53:14

An aimless year of travelling/navel contemplation does not impress. One of the hard parts of joining the world of work for the first time is the 'got to' nature of it. You have to just get on with it. It wont get easier for putting it off for a year of grape picking.

It's a shame that you think that way Gnome. I see it another way (I would, I'm his mother!wink)
DS has organised his travels himself, you could compare the planning and research to a dissertation/project. He has also had to find the money so he has been part of "the world of work" for several months, grafting away full time. He will come back from his travels having experienced different cultures and ways of doing things; he will have seen and lived it, not merely jetted in and out like a holidaying tourist.

When I was in my final year, I went on the milkround. There was one company in particular who stood out with their 'work hard, play hard' attitude. I realised that, in return for their high wages, they wanted a pound of flesh and went to a less pressured outfit. I believe that I did the right thing as a few years later the results-at-all-costs company collapsed following financial scandal.
DS has probably inherited some of my non-conformity but he is a bright lad who always falls on his feet so I have no worries about him 'retiring' for a few years (although I have warned him not to do it for too long and miss the boat).
In summary, you may not rate him, Gnome, but I'm not sure that he would rate your company's attitude either.smile

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