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Very anxious mother

(4 Posts)
datingdiva1 Thu 09-Nov-17 13:36:58

My daughter started Uni in September. She is painfully shy and not a party animal at all. She finds it hard to make friends. All seemed to be well and she has bonded with one girl in her flat. However, this girl and many others in her flat of 8 all seem to go home at the weekend and she says the Uni is empty over the weekends.

Now there is already talk of what will happen for year 2 when they are expected to rent outside of the halls flats. Her one friend has now announced that she is moving out next week. I am getting bad vibes for my daughter

Anyone else had this sort of problem? All of my local friends seem to have kids who are making groups of friends in their respective Unis , but mine doesn't appear to be.

Feeling very anxious.

LIZS Thu 09-Nov-17 13:43:26

She needs to look beyond her existing flatmates for a social life and next year housing. Ds uni had a fair in the New Year for those looking to make up groups or fill rooms. There were also fb groups to help people match up. Does she attend any societies or sports groups where she could make contacts?

Leeds2 Thu 09-Nov-17 13:46:40

I'm sorry to hear that your DD doesn't seem to have made many friends yet.
It isn't too late for her to join one of the many clubs and societies on offer. Maybe something related to her degree subject, so that she will meet some like minded people? What are her hobbies and interests? Could she join a choir/sports team/drama group? Whatever she is interested in, there is bound to be something. Would she consider Christian Union? They always seem to be very welcoming, and your DD could possibly get involved in volunteering with them?
There is still plenty of time to think about house sharing for next year. But would it be possible for her to stay in Halls, or uni accommodation? I know some uni do offer this for their second year students.

Kez100 Thu 09-Nov-17 16:40:50

This is really early days and new homes search starts far too early.

My DD was caught between two friendship groups and that was difficult too.

Then groups start looking and find the need one more (Or one less!) and even more upset - all in very new, raw, friendships.

What matters more is now and her lack of new friends generally. Perhaps she can look at societies. As Christmas approaches they will all have socials as will her course I expect. Hopefully she will feel she can join some of those.

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