Hello - new to mumsnet! Let's talk about "empty nest syndrome"...

[pineapplecrumble]

Hello everyone!

I have decided to join Mumsnet as I have been trawling the internet to find out information about what is often referred to as "empty nest syndrome". This site popped up - it looks great and you all seem so supportive of one another!

Wow - this has to take the prize for the most underrated name of a syndrome going!

My youngest stared uni in September and I never imagined that it would cleave at my heart so. I knew I would miss her and that I would have a period of adjustment but I never expected this.

I am independent and by large a very positive and open minded person and have brought my girls up to be the same, so I assumed that I would be fine when the youngest one left for uni.

I find it hard to explain - I am at times tearful, lost, worried and feel very broken hearted. Some other times I am fine - these times correlate when I am busy or with friends, so I have been trying to keep busy.

I really would love to hear from others who have been through or are going through this. Some of my friends are totally ok and are embracing teenage free homes, others have been the same as me and doing the whole wobble in the middle of the supermarket routine!!

I can't say I am hugely better than what I was when she first went away but I am a little better. I was wondering how anyone else found this time of their lives and how long it took to feel totally happy with the situation.

Thank you so much for reading.

[roisin]

Hi! I feel the same: so similar that I could have written your post. Happy to chat offboard: message me.

[ThroughThickAndThin01]

I think stages of missing the children vary from person to person.

I was bereft when youngest dc left primary school!, but counting down the days until ds3 goes to uni next year. I haven't missed ds1 and ds2 at all since they've been away at uni. They've barely gone then they're back home on holiday it seems to me. Lots of chatting via text and what's app.

However, when they move out for good I think that'll hit me hard.

[pixelchick10]

Hi Pineapple and welcome! I missed DD acutely at the start but now it’s not so bad - I hear from her a lot via Facetime and IM she’s come home a couple of times and before we know it they will be back for Christmas! Plus I am revelling in the delights of a tidy house ... hopefully you will start feeling a bit better soon. It is weird isn’t it - our lives are spent loving them, looking after them then suddenly they aren’t living with us anymore and there’s that big emptiness - I guess we have to find new activities to fill it with x

[pineapplecrumble]

Thank you all so much for your replies.

roisin - It's so hard isn't it? Will message you.

ThroughThickAndThin01 - It's funny as I never felt this way when my eldest daughter went to Uni - I was in tears when we left her at the halls and missed her, so just assumed I would be the same when my youngest went - I wonder if that's why it's hit me so hard?

pixelchick10 - We also do lots of texting and I thought that would help me but I can't say it has. She has been home just recently and as you say Christmas is totally around the corner!! You are right - our lives do revolve around the kids and then its just BOOM - all change. It's like the rug is pulled out from under our feet.

[GlacindaTheTroll]

There an empty nest thread in one form or another every autumn.

This year's is here

[pineapplecrumble]

Hi GlacindaTheTroll - thank you for that link. Will have a look now.