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Feeling really sad in my empty nest

(23 Posts)
jeanne16 Sat 30-Sep-17 19:47:21

We just took our DS to Uni today. He was fine and couldn't wait for us to leave. My DD graduated last year and has a well paid job and is living in a shared house with friends.

So my DH and I are home alone and I am feeling really sad. It's not as if any of this was unexpected so I wasn't expecting to feel so bereft.

I'm just looking for a bit of moral support.

TheOtherNNB Sat 30-Sep-17 19:49:21

Congrats on raising 2 happy and successful young people!

tilligan Sat 30-Sep-17 20:01:23

You've done a brilliant job, you should feel really proud of yourselves!
It is strange at first but enjoy that extra time, space and freedom. Do the things you enjoy- before you know it they'll be back for Christmas x

GinUnicorn Sat 30-Sep-17 20:13:47

Oh this sounds really tough. Do you have any friends nearby who you can go and have a nice big glass of wine with and think about all the dirty washing you don't have to pick up?

They will be back for visits before you know it but sending a hug x

Mulch Sat 30-Sep-17 20:19:23

Feel the sadness and let it pass, don't stay there

pallisers Sat 30-Sep-17 20:22:07

I've posted this before. It really sums it up for me. Agree though - feel the sadness and let it pass. Lots of good things ahead it is just it is hard to see a big chapter of your life closing, no matter how many exciting chapters lie ahead.

happystory Sat 30-Sep-17 20:38:02

I know just how you feel. Is he far away? Dd was home from early May to late September this summer! All those fees ...

Think of the visits home, they are so special. Christmas will be lovely.

ErrolTheDragon Sat 30-Sep-17 22:57:06

Hey jeanne - come and join us over here - many more empty or depleted nests

Mine is an only, so its just me and DH and the is a bit weird, especially after what seems like a lot of preparation. Before she went I wouldn't have said it looked like a tornado had hit the house, more like one had devastated town and Dunelm mills and then deposited everything in her room.... but it's unnaturally tidy now!

Michaelmas term ends dec 1st so ours will be back in a couple of months.

ssd Sat 30-Sep-17 23:14:51

I think how you feel is really normal and something most of us go through, at some stage.

pixelchick10 Sun 01-Oct-17 17:21:06

I felt the same after leaving DD last week - a few Facetimes later and after a fleeting trip to her uni town today I feel fine - happy she is in the right place for her. I am sure you should feel better soon x

BasiliskStare Mon 02-Oct-17 05:36:01

This is what Border Terriers are for grin

I know how you feel .

Skyblueshed Wed 04-Oct-17 10:43:05

I am feeling the same now that my eldest son has left for university. When I feel sad, I accept it. I have every right to feel sad about this massive change! But I won’t allow myself to wallow for long. I am happy that my son is happy and starting an exciting new chapter and I am determined that this will be positive for me too- time to make plans! Good luck x

scaryteacher Wed 04-Oct-17 17:13:14

Ds went to board at 16 for sixth form in UK, and whilst it feels strange at first, you soon get used to it; not dealing with mountains of washing; having peanut butter available as the jar hasn't been finished; ditto the bread, milk, ham and cheese. The house stops looking as if a hurricane has been through it, and you don't fall over enormous trainers left at strategic tripping points.

Ds has just started his MA, and it does get better. I love having him home, but equally, it's fine when he isn't.

roisin Thu 05-Oct-17 07:42:41

Skyblueshed - thank you for your post. I am trying to keep busy and not wallow. I have two at uni and neither are very communicative, so I am supressing my desire to know everything that is going on and rebuild my own busy-ness here.

QOD Thu 05-Oct-17 07:50:00

Join us on the uni thread

I feel the same. Dd is an only and it’s soooo quiet at home

simbobs Thu 05-Oct-17 17:44:35

I know that I will feel this way in 2yrs when DS goes (DD just gone), so I have already earmarked the end of Sept as time for a special holiday for DH and me, somewhere that the DC wouldn't be bothered about going. I know that will only postpone the emptiness - and I know that I will really feel it (took me ages to get over missing him when he started school) but it means that I can look forward to his departure rather than dreading it. Now, to nag him to study...

Abra1d Thu 05-Oct-17 17:49:06

I found the first week of the empty nest very hard. It's week three now and things are much easier. I don't feel as sad.

It's nice only having to worry about meals for my other half and me. And not having a pile of trainers by the front door.

Skyblueshed Thu 05-Oct-17 18:07:43

I am finding it so difficult not to keep messaging him to check how he is! When he was at home I would never go to sleep until I knew he was safely back at night, but now I have to trust that he is ok. I am sure it will get easier as time goes by.

simbobs Thu 05-Oct-17 19:09:00

We're all in the same boat and there is no easy answer. I am going to have to be careful not to sound as though I am interrogating DD when I see her, as there is much I want to know about her new life and she is not the world's most communicative soul.

bettyRG4 Wed 11-Oct-17 11:38:33

My 2 went within 3 weeks of each other. It's quiet and strange here, but I know they are doing what they want and are happy. A couple of the pluses are being able to nip out of the bathroom without covering up and noisy sex, we're no spring rabbits, but it has spiced things up for us not having to stop the tell tale headboard knock and vocal sounds of enjoyment.grin

LadyinCement Wed 11-Oct-17 12:33:24


There was a piece by Winifred Robinson in last week's Waitrose newspaper (!) about having an empty nest and the autumn leaves falling being all the more poignant this year, as it marks a move into the next phase of life.

I'm so glad I have a dog!

FreedaDonkey Thu 12-Oct-17 21:07:08

You're more than welcome to join us on our Facebook group too.

Lots of us are finding it hard adjusting to our DCs flying off.

FreedaDonkey Thu 12-Oct-17 21:07:48

You're more than welcome to join us on our Facebook group too.

Lots of us are finding it hard adjusting to our DCs flying off.

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