Son has already left uni before lectures actually start

(11 Posts)
LRMT Fri 15-Sep-17 00:30:55

Dropped my son to his halls on Tuesday, now picking him up tomorrow. He has decided to drop out ( and completed the relevant paperwork) deciding that uni this year is not for him and he should have stuck to his plans to have a gap year and then decide. He wasn't going to applyto uni so did it very last minute and didn't view any of the uni's. He told me of his wobble the day after results and I basically ignored him and said it was nerves. I suspect he needs to mature a bit and he has realised this but I am at a slight loss as to what to do - any suggestions?

OP’s posts: |
Horsemad Fri 15-Sep-17 06:35:26

Make him get a job/work experience in whatever it is he wants to do at uni and then take him to loads of open days to view as many unis as he can so he can make a balanced decision.

valeinoyikbuno Fri 15-Sep-17 06:38:47

Do you know what the fee and student loan situation is? Will your ds be saddled with student debt despite on having been there for a few days?

Horsemad Fri 15-Sep-17 06:50:31

I think they have about a week from enrolment to opt out without incurring financial penalty from Student Finance, although you may be liable for his accommodation fees.

Lifesastitch Fri 15-Sep-17 07:51:50

Run with it, encourage him to use the next few months doing something useful/worthwhile, it may find (and I bet he does!) he ends up doing something completely different from what he signed up for at university. He could look into doing an apprenticeship, volunteer work, and why not do somethIng just for the sheer pleasure of it at night school? I'm no fan of the UK education system, the stress that is put on academic (for that read university degree) success is wrong. University is not for everyone, and it's perfectly ok to go back to university in later life if/when it suits, it will always be there. Good luck.

2014newme Fri 15-Sep-17 07:59:49

It's fine. Girl I know dropped out after a term and us instead doing an apprenticeship where she gets paid £26k per year to train as an accountant. 3 days per week in college.

mayhew Fri 15-Sep-17 08:11:48

It's good he's dropped out before accumulating much debt (if any). He needs to work, earn some money and feel in charge of his own destiny. My nephew did similar but retreated to his bedroom and lost a lot of confidence. He's now on a work scheme organised via the Job Centre and feels a lot better.

My daughter had a planned year off. Worked for 6 months and then travelled (alone) for 6. Says it's the best thing she had ever done.


senua Fri 15-Sep-17 08:28:53

I am at a slight loss as to what to do - any suggestions?

Well, of course, you don't do anything - it's his life. But I would concentrate on helping him to minimise debt (tuition fees, student loan, accommodation fees, etc).

Then draw breath and think about what he wants in life. If he is re-applying then he doesn't have much time to organise Open Days so he makes an informed decision this time because they book up quickly.

Well done to him for having the bottle to say "this is not the right decision, I need to take action".

Patchouli666 Fri 15-Sep-17 08:31:06

My daughters dbf did this. Had a year off doing very work...dossing etc. But now he is very focused and off this weekend to uni and is in such a different place to what he was last year. Tbh, the lack of focus from him the last year would have driven me mad if I were his mum but actually it's worked out better in the end. He is going to his first choice uni this time. Last year would have been his reserve choice. He has also chosen a completley diff degree. Was going mechanical engineering is now doing psychology. And at a very good uni. He is so excited this year.
A year is nothing. Give him this time. Few weeks to find his direction again then pushing re job etc will have him champing at the bit to get away next year!

Hugs4Everyone Fri 15-Sep-17 08:38:50

I think it's ok too. It's so much better to do it now than faff around unsure for ages. Student finance will be fine.

I'd appoach it by being very positive about his gap year. Time for him to get a job (part time or full time) ASAP

LIZS Fri 15-Sep-17 08:45:32

You do have a cooling off period for student finance, 2 weeks from registration iirc. He needs a plan of action though Is he going to apply again , if so he needs to get up to speed on visits and application deadlines. What will he do in the meantime? Or will he change tack completely and look for an apprenticeship or permanent work?

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