Thought all was going well but ....

(9 Posts)
lin4 Thu 26-Jan-17 10:58:39

Hi All,
DS came home at Christmas and seemed very happy and settled -- he even wanted to return early to have a few days to chill before the start of term. I got up this morning to find three messages on my phone saying that he has had the worst night ever and that he now hates his Uni. I have tried to get hold of him this morning but he has messaged back saying he wants to sleep. I can't think of what might have happened and of course I am very worried. He is only an hour or so away so I could go to see him or suggest he come home but that may not be the right thing to do. I suppose I just need to wait and see what the problem is.

OP’s posts: |
hellsbells99 Thu 26-Jan-17 11:16:59

Hi Lin4. I hope he is ok. Could you message him and suggest meeting up for a meal later if he is only an hour away? Or meet up on Saturday?

DonkeysDontRideBicycles Thu 26-Jan-17 11:36:38

Hope you speak to him today. It's tough for us when they only communicate enough to get us wondering and worrying.

My first thought was a row with flatmates or new friends, which may blow over fast.
Or he may be coming down with something so every problem is magnified.

Perhaps it's a dip in confidence. If so it's normal to feel wobbly sometimes and he shouldn't be afraid to talk to his personal tutor. Or if applicable in his case, additional student support services.

lin4 Thu 26-Jan-17 12:55:22

Thanks for your replies. I have managed to speak to him and it seems it was a combination of things- lots of deadlines coming all at once ( in a couple of weeks time) and the fact that he had had a night out and had first of all forgotten his ID and then had lost his cloak room ticket and was asked to wait for his coat until everyone else had collected theirs! On the one hand, I am pleased that he can let of steam by contacting us but I also wish that he was a bit better at taking things in his stride.

OP’s posts: |
FannyUmbongo Fri 27-Jan-17 07:25:19

I would have been panicking if I'd got that text.

At least he can talk to you.

EmmaWoodlouse Sat 28-Jan-17 11:48:20

My DS is in the second year and he still gets very worked up about deadlines, especially when there's more than one at once. He usually gets happier again when the pressure is over. I'd wait and see what happens this time, but if he still thinks he hates uni when there's nothing like that hanging over him, it might be worth taking it more seriously and getting him to discuss things with his tutor (not with a view to definitely dropping out, but perhaps accessing some help with study or relaxation techniques that will make things easier for him, or a slight change of options if specific aspects of his course are getting him down).

lin4 Sat 28-Jan-17 16:52:00

Very helpful suggestions, thanks Emma. We have just arranged for him to come home in a couple of weeks time so that will be a chance to see how things are.

OP’s posts: |


MrsBernardBlack Sat 28-Jan-17 17:15:42

It sounds like the coat check thing was the last straw, poor lad. We all learn by making mistakes though, so hopefully that experience will teach him to be a bit more organised next time though.

It's a horrible feeling when you feel that you are losing control of your deadlines, but there are lots of time management techniques and systems that he needs to learn. He should definitely see if there is some sort of study skills mentor at his university who can help.

Ther are also apps that can help, this [ [list]] might have something he would find useful.

MrsBernardBlack Sat 28-Jan-17 17:16:36

Click link for the app list

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