Sharing a room at university?(51 Posts)
Would it be mean of us to make dd share a room in first year at uni?
She'a tempted by the fact that she'd get a nice old room and not be put in a grotty annexe
Also will save us £600
Do you have any experience of this?
I shared a room for the first term.it was great and I made double the number of friends
Mean to make her, I think - but not mean to try to persuade her
I shared a room, it was great and I made double the number of friends, too!
(In fact, I shared a room with that same roommate again only last weekend, which is about 30 years later!)
If she is happy to then I would go for it, but having been a student recently I was really pleased to have my own space for when I was stressed. It's also worth considering that if she gets poorly she might not want to be sharing a space.
Also sorry to bring this up as she is your DD but if she wants 'visitors' thats going to be pretty awkward. Best bet is to get her a single room first year then make sure she has a cheap house share next two years.
I shared. I am godmother to my room mates daughter and she is still one of my closest friends.
We had the option of sharing whilst I was at uni and It wasn't for me. It's Abby of a lottery who you end up with, you can get someone nice and normal or you can get a complete muppet.
If your dd is a night owl her roommate may not take kindly to it, and likewise the other way round. If one is very messy and disorganised and the other craves order it can make things very difficult. It's also incredibly awkward if you fall out because your stuck with someone you don't like.
You may be thinking the saving is your priority but if dd hates the experience she's stuck with it till the end of the year and that could effect her entire year. If you dislike someone in your halls you can keep clear of them easily enough, dislike your roommate and it's harder to ignore them when it's their face you see every morning.
I would have absolutely hated it, as I loved having my own private space.
My DD, however, is at uni in the States, and single rooms weren't an option (only double or triple rooms available). She loves her roommate and has just spent Thanksgiving at her home. She views it as a wholly positive experience.
However, US applicants know that they have been accepted earlier than UK ones, as admittance is dependent on entry tests, written statements etc rather than A Level scores. My DD knew where she was going from the end of March, so had plenty of time on the uni FB page to chat to other incoming students and find one that was suited to her. At least in my DD's case, it has worked very well. I suspect you don't get that option of "choice" in the UK, as you don't find out that you have your place until a much later stage in the proceedings.
My first year room mate is godmother to my 3 dcs. But I suspect in the olden days (I'm talking late 70s) when fewer people went to uni more attention was paid to matching people with similar interests and backgrounds.
I'm a very private person but don't remember having any issues with sharing.
I shared a room in first year with a civil engineer - introduced me to a group of people I would never have met otherwise.
Not quite the same but when I was on work placements aged 18-21 I used to stay in a YMCA in shared roooms. I mostly loved it but there were some right weirdos too. 😂
I think the problem with sharing at Uni is that it might interfere with their studies.
I was a student in the '70s, when sharing was more common. It was visitors that caused the most issues. Not just overnight guests, but things like someone's boyfriend being there nearly every evening because he didn't like his own place, or when one person brought people back for coffee after the bar closed, when the other was getting ready for bed.
I shared in first year - she's my best friend 36 years on
You cant make her as other PP said, but if you think she would genuinely prefer it and is considering herself then you could try to persuade her.
But I wouldn't do it on the premise that you will save £600.
Because if it goes wrong and she has to drop out/ defer or retake then she has wasted £9000 for the years tuition AND your whole years rent money, and min. £3000 maintenance - so in total probably nearing £15K all in of wasted money for a retake year.
You want to give her the best shot to succeed, and saving £600 is fuck all in uni terms in relation to what is at stake.
My DD had a shared room in that the other girl had to go through DDs room (diagonally) to get to hers. They barely spoke but the other girl was a Chinese vet so nothing in common. She was also up skyping all night which DD could hear. She didn't seem to actually sleep.
Yes it is cheaper and sometimes if you are going to the insurance university you are lucky to get a shared room! Might be fun if you get someone like you. Could be disastrous.
DD2 made great efforts to chat to other students before she started on her course (arts course so the offers were low and attainable) but that was a disaster too. Both of the Ines she shared a flat with left the course and were professional drag queens by the end of 1st year and trashed the flat. DD had to pay a share of the repairs although she had not caused anything and had in fact moved out. She never saw the other two students as they were Chinese.
I would have hated it. Uni was the first time I had any real privacy in my life - the second night in halls I slept naked (alone!) just because I could!
My best friend, however, had a room share in her first year, loved it and is still great friends with her roomie 20 years on.
Is it £600 a term or a year?
I could not have shared tbh. I couldn't even of shared a bathroom.
My niece did, and ws lucky to get a very considerate sharer with whom she became good friends, but it's not something I'd want to do - even if I could choose my room mate (which they won't be able to).
If there is a real choice (wasn't for my niece), then I wouldn't.
Yes, if it's a saving of 600 over a whole year then it's not worth it just all. I would not be that keen even if it was termly. It's important for students to have somewhere they can study at the time of their choice and a room mate gets in the way of that. Plus I would imagine they socialise plenty with others in the same block of flats / building or whatever. It doesn't have to be with the person in the same room (who she may not like anyway).
My dd shared in first year. Turned out wonderfully as made a great friend. I think for one year it's fine as not the end of the world if doesn't work out brilliantly. She saved about 1000 but it was mostly because most accommodation in those halls for first years were shared. My niece is at university in the states and the person sharing with her was taking drugs and it was a nightmare.
A friend of DDs was allocated a shared room. This was not a problem except the roommate had an "incompatible" lifestyle. The University were quick to respond to a request for a move. Vacancies will come up after the start of term so there should be scope for a switch if it does not work out.
I could not have shared tbh. I couldn't even of shared a bathroom.
I think young people's expectations are different these days. When my niece was choosing accommodation for uni she was horrified that there was no underfloor heating!
My room-mate in first year was a smoker like me (and of course we smoked on our rooms in those days!) and drank pints like me, so we were very compatible. When one of us brought someone back, the other would sleep in a sleeping bag on the first floor landing.
In my postgrad years I shared a bathroom with seven other women . I'm 55 and have never had a bathroom that I've shared with fewer than two other people.
I agree Rhonda about shared bathrooms. What happens when kids get jobs in London and find themselves living somewhere grotty in Zone 3 with a single bathroom.
It depends on what the choices are. If sharing makes it possible to go to a good University with an interesting course, it must be worth considering. (A family member would only consider Universities where she could be guaranteed an ensuite. This seemed bonkers.) If the room is then within easy reach of the University library, the study problem is solved. One think I find quite shocking is when Universities allocate very expensive accommodation to those who have requested the cheapest. And some accommodation, even in relatively cheap places, is very expensive. Perhaps opting for a shared room reduces that risk, and means you are more likely to get an older, but more central, hall.
My sister shared in her first year. Her roommate is still one of her closest friends after 20 years. A couple of my friends shared but couldn't cope at all - one was inclined to be up all night getting completely wrecked, while the other was much more focused on his work, while still liking a good night out to a 'normal' extent. They didn't last the year as roommates, although are still friends. I absolutely couldn't have coped with it, I really need to have a door I can close.
Not only for the money, but more importantly for the socialisation aspect. The first few weeks are when people very quickly work out who they want to be around and the kitchens or common rooms are where they do it.
If your DD rushes back to her single room and closes the door there will be fewer opportunities for that. With a room-mate she'll have an ally and a second set of friends ready made.
There has to be tolerance and acceptance between them, but I expect at that age she's not going to be stuck in her ways. If she has a single room at home it'll be another reason to come back and visit you!
I was paired with a very different girl in First Year Halls. I still count her as one of my best friends 30+ years later.
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