This is the higher education topic, and I think that the over-18s need to sort it out themselves with their university, college or club coaches.
It's usually pretty much on merit once in the adult game, though perhaps some leeway for those who show commitment by turning up for all the training (especially if at anti-social o'clock in the morning).
My son at uni is on the committee for his sport and I don't get involved. I didn't when he was at high school either. if he had a problem he raised it with his teacher/ head of that sport. You sound overinvested.