Cold feet or crisis of confidence now he's got his place. Anyone else?

(6 Posts)
Haffdonga Fri 14-Aug-15 15:33:03

Ds has done well in his A levels after ballsing up his AS's last year and has got in to his first choice uni on the course he always said he wanted to do. Hooray. grin

Except now he's panicking and doesn't want to go to uni at all and is sat researching his imaginary travels in South America. confused

His reasons are: 1. He's had enough stress for a year or two and doesn't want more stress of doing a uni level academic subject. (fair enough?) 2. He's worried the other students will all be more advanced than him (totally unfounded anxiety).

Anyone words of wisdom? Anyone else got a panicking dc?

Feels like I'm re-living the stress of results day

OP’s posts: |
MoralityPlay Fri 14-Aug-15 16:13:22

No advice but I don't think it's unusual to have doubts. If he has good results then he could reapply next year or even just ask the Uni if they could change his place to a defferred offer.

My DC haven't done gap years but everyone we know who have done them have found them enjoyable and beneficial.

bigbluebus Fri 14-Aug-15 17:12:59

Your first paragraph describes my DS exactly haffdonga

DS is not researching any imaginary travels, and is currently making very slow progress with everything he needs to sort out for Uni. However, he has form for backing out of things at the last minute due to anxiety, so I wouldn't be at all surprised if we get to the day before departure and he changes his mind sad or even goes away and returns home shortly afterwards. I think stress levels will slowly build over the next few weeks to a point where we are walking on eggshells like we were during the exam period.

I would be more than happy for my DS to defer for a year on condition that he got a job to build more confidence, mature a bit more and earn some money and not laze around on the bed or in front of the computer doing naff all like he's done since his exams ended Is deferring an option for your DS? Do you think delaying by year would make it easier for him ir do you think he would just keep putting it off and end up not going at all?

Horsemad Fri 14-Aug-15 18:31:26

Mine's not exactly saying he doesn't want to go but he's not accepted the alternative course he was offered by his firm (missed ins) and won't approach any unis through Clearing for the course he DID want. confused

DH getting stressed because he is doing absolutely nothing at the moment.

DS does say he wants to go to Uni, so hopefully he'll accept his new alternative offer soon... or apply for something else through Clearing. <fingers crossed>

Haffdonga Fri 14-Aug-15 20:32:56

Thanks guys. I can't imagine cold feet is that unusual. It's funny how suddenly when one ginormous hurdle is overcome, there immediately seems to be another one.

I'm not against a gap year per se, but I think a gap year needs a plan to do something . At the moment his plan just seems to be not going to uni for not-good-enough-anxiety reasons. He's not going to be any better at his chosen subject this time next year after a year of working in a supermarket or sitting on a beach in Thailand.

It still remains to be seen if ds plucks up the courage to ask his uni if he can defer.

OP’s posts: |
MoralityPlay Sat 15-Aug-15 09:19:03

It's funny how suddenly when one ginormous hurdle is overcome, there immediately seems to be another one
Yup, that's my experience of raising kids toosmile. It's one thing after another.

Maybe he will come around in a few days. My daughters results went well but she was exhausted yesterday from the stress she had put herself under. Maybe your son is just a bit overwhelmed at the moment and just needs a few days to compose himself. I found my sons hid their stress and worry during their ALevels. When we talk about them now all four of my kids say their ALevels years and their ALevel exams were the most stressful thing they have done.

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