Dropping dd off at university

[Seriouslyffs]

Dd wishes me to drive her to university , she is going for the first time in October however it is 6 hours away and I really cannot be arsed

[dementedma]

Op, I love you! How refreshing against all the angst filled posts of parents not being able to drive home because of being blinded by tears etc....
Stick her on the train. She'll be fine.

[RiverTam]

Now, I've found the whole oarents going to uni open days all a bit odd, but I do think that's rather mean, unless she's been at boarding school and is used to being away from home. It's a big thing. You don't have to ever go it again, but first time? I think you should. Plus won't she have loads of stuff with her, like her duvet and books and whatnot?

[JeanSeberg]

Yeah something to be really proud of

[bakedappleflavour]

YY to open days, never understood parents trailing round with their kids then. I did all that on my own, applied for student finance, etc etc.

But I do think you are mean not to take her - she's leaving home for the first time!

[TheOriginalSteamingNit]

Apt username, OP!

[Seriouslyffs]

Sigh.
Lovely DD posted the above. I will of course take her the first time
and name change!
Demented I dropped her off at an open day and was having a lovely time shopping in Leeds, after a couple of hours she called me and hissed I'm the only one on my own.
I joined her.

[SleepIsOverrated]

Understandable.
But could you maybe make a solo road trip of the return journey, spread it out over a couple of days and enjoy crisp clean white hotel sheets, room service, and blissful silence? Might be worth the drive for that!

How much choice of uni did she have? Was this the only place offering the course she wants, or did she have much more local options she spurned? I might be more inclined to make the effort if this was her only place.

I'd do it. But I'd be miffed about it... And I'd only do it once. I think.

[RiverTam]

Heh heh heh, well done DD!

[lljkk]

pmsl @ update

[dementedma]

Lol! Nice on ops DD. Although I stand by my comments. I really really don't get all the heartbroken threads on here at uni start time. But then, I am a hard assed bitch!!!!!
I love seeing them becoming independent and doing their own thing.

[gonegrey56]

The mother of one of dd's Uni friends fully intended to stay on to help her dd "get through" Freshers' Week!

[RiverTam]

So do I. I wouldn't have dreamt of having my parents accompany me on visits, and they wouldn't have dreamt of offering. But even both of them came in my first day and I was so grateful.

Also, I don't get Sleep's point - do you think students should choose their uni on the basis of how far the drive us on the first day? Really??

[Earthbound]

I knew someone at uni who was so homesick in Freshers Week that he considered dropping out. So he mum drove down and slept on his floor for a week until he felt able to cope on his own. I was never able to work out if I thought it was sweet or weird. My own mum would have told me to grow up and grow a pair so I was quite possibly a bit jealous.

[MiffyMyKitty]

dement were you raised by wolves by any chance

[VanitasVanitatum]

I went to open days on my own but I always got dropped off/picked up each year because of the sheer amount of stuff and not taking my own car!!

[PolkadotsAndMoonbeams]

Oh, I think that's nice Earthbound. Freshers' week is the worst bit!

Well, it was for me anyway. I was much happier once my course had started and I was seeing the same people each day.

[MaggieJoyBlunt]

Ha!

[TheMotherOfAllDilemmas]

Parents trailing around their kids at uni open days is now the rule rather than the exception. Although I hate parents crippling their children with so much protection, I feel sorry for those that are on their own.

The ones with their parents around make far more from the visits, but are not exactly as free to take their own decissions

Anyhow, going back to the droping her at a uni that is six hours away... she is taking her first steps towards independance and has asked for your help, and you can't be arsed. Which is fine, she will get a lot of independence out of it, if she is a bit clever she won't be arsed to keep in regular contact with you as soon as she realises she no longer needs you.

[eatyourveg]

My parents booked a cottage nearby for the weekend. On the moving in day, they drove to a layby a few roads away and dropped me there and then drove 200+ miles straight home. I never considered it odd until now.

[badRoly]

When I started way back in the day and I understand things are different now, for some reason Freshers arrived mid week (Weds or Thurs from memory) at the end of September.

My parents were both teachers so I caught the train down with my basic stuff and they drove down at the weekend with everything else.

[MayPolist]

Nowhere DS2 is applying seems cheaper than £100 on the train, but a fraction of that to drive there.

[LaurieFairyCake]

I think it's daft to go so far away - are you going to have to drive up there the beginning and end of every term?

That's a lot of driving

[Seriouslyffs]

I'm hoping she'll come home by train!
TBH location was waaaay down the list of criterion when looking at courses. She's going for a vvvvv good university and a few journeys over 3 years is neither here nor there over a potentially different outcome in terms of opportunities over a lifetime.
Can I just reiterate that dd started this thread- I will be taking her come October, and I'm driving the mardy mare to Paris next week!!

[MayPolist]

Depends on the course.Daft to turn down on an OXbbridge place, or somewhere that is particularly highly regarded for your subject, on the grounds of distance alone. Similarly if you are applying for vet med, medicine or dentistry, you might only get one offer!

[TheBreeze]

When DS was at Uni, he managed to get the train quite cheaply by careful booking of tickets and a railcard. The only time we used the car was to take him up there at the start and for the yearly house move that they all seem to do.