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university open days (am I supposed to go?)

(63 Posts)
AtYourCervix Mon 22-Apr-13 21:01:48

DD is off to Cardiff on wednesday.
She's being all independent and insisting I'm not supposed to go.

(apart from just working out the train will be £30 and getting stroppy about timings - all of which could have been bypassed if I was driving)

Anyway. Am I supposed to be going? Can I trust her to find out important stuff like money and halls and stuff)

I'm clueless. Help.

rubyrubyruby Mon 22-Apr-13 21:03:57

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

AtYourCervix Mon 22-Apr-13 21:07:58

But she's blond and fitzy and only a baby i seriously need to get over this don't i?

AMumInScotland Mon 22-Apr-13 21:14:35

If she prefers you not to, then you don't. Even if you think she'd be better off with you there. Don't worry too much about the practicalities, it's more about whether she likes the place and is impressed by it rather than the detail at this stage.

I went with DS and it was probably about even whether people were with family or not, so I don't think there's a single "normal" approach.

AtYourCervix Mon 22-Apr-13 21:16:04

It'd be bloody cheaper if i drove. And I could hold her hand.

RustyBear Mon 22-Apr-13 21:17:43

I didn't go to any of either DD or DS's - in fact DS went to one during the school day and didn't actually get round to telling me he'd been till a week or so later...

They both seemed perfectly capable of finding out all they needed to know about halls, they certainly knew which ones they wanted to get into when they applied for them - there's also a lot of info on the websites if you want to check up yourself.

olivertheoctopus Mon 22-Apr-13 21:21:20

My dad took me to mine (mum was a teacher so couldn't get time off). Some unis encouraged parents to stay, some encouraged them not to. I'd go and play it by ear.

AtYourCervix Mon 22-Apr-13 21:32:07

I can't do this one as I'm working. I'll volunteer to drive her to others.

Beamur Mon 22-Apr-13 21:35:12

I went alone (20+ years ago) and DSS went alone too. Giving a lift though if it's cheaper makes sense. I think quite a lot of parents go, but I'd say go by what your DD wants to do.

AuntySib Mon 22-Apr-13 21:40:50

Most of my son's friends parents went, and friends who work in universities tell me that lots of parents accompany their child. Finance etc is going to be something you can check out online, getting the vibe of the place is the important bit. bonus of you going is that you are in a better position to discuss pros and cons. Only you will know if she is responsible enough to check it all out for herself!

difficultpickle Mon 22-Apr-13 21:48:06

I went on my own. 30 years ago shock. Back in those days we were a bit hmm if someone turned up with their parents in tow.

Startail Mon 22-Apr-13 21:50:24

Strange modern idea, no way did parents go to open days 27 years ago.
DDad organised sales called within local train distance for my London one, dumped me at Reading I think.

He did take me at Canterbury because I couldn't do that in the day by train from wildest Wales.

Even country bumpkins can read train time tables and tube maps.

Our local station master couldn't. A couple of years after I started uni, I needed to get to the South coast in the holidays. The look of relief when I asked him just to pass the book was brilliant. I did it every lunch time in Student advice, he sent people to Swansea and Shrewsbury and very ovation ally in to London.

bruffin Mon 22-Apr-13 21:56:56

My ds is planning to go to Durham with his mates. 4 hour train journey and we spent Saturday morning trying to get an affordable fare.
He also has a huge spreadsheet of university open day dates, course requirement etc.
Its all too much for me to think my little boy cant wait to leave home sad

Caladria Mon 22-Apr-13 22:02:29


mindgone Mon 22-Apr-13 22:59:23

I went with DS last year, we had some nice days out!

boomting Tue 23-Apr-13 00:06:25

I work (very) part time in student recruitment, and it's more common to see applicants with parents than without, and becoming more so. However, it's far from uncommon to see applicants without parents. Not so many moons ago, I went both with parents and without to different open days, and neither did me any harm.

With regards to the train fare, consider buying a 16-25 railcard. They're £28, give a third off fares, and last for a year (so if you think she might spend more than £84 this year on fares, it's worth it).

With regards to you going to talks
- with finance, if you've heard one talk then you've heard them all. The only difference between unis is the bursary, details of which can be found on the website.
- accommodation is nothing to worry about - it will all be of a passable standard so long as it is owned by the university, and details can be found on the website
- for subject talks, only she really knows what she is / isn't interested in, so there's very little that you could get from those talks anyway. These are the only seriously important talks for her to go on
- there will probably be a guided walking tour, with some cheerful looking student pointing out different buildings around campus. These are quite useful, at least in part because it means that you can get the student away from their line manager, ask them questions on the way around and get (hopefully!) more brutally honest answers

And half the time with open days, people just get a gut feeling about a place for reasons that they can't quite place their finger on (I know I did, and my gut instinct was correct) and follow that.

AtYourCervix Tue 23-Apr-13 06:53:19

Thanks. Railcard is a good idea.

MrsHoarder Tue 23-Apr-13 07:02:06

Which course? I see sixth formers applying for maths most Weeks in my building, about half have parents with them. And there's a station right next to the student union, its not far to walk.

Assume you're not coming from England if the train is the expensive option? And yy to the railcard if she wants to get the train top more open days, it cuts the date right down. Is there any way she can start her journey after 10am (I think) - if you look on national rail ticket prices drop after the morning peak.

MrsHoarder Tue 23-Apr-13 07:02:34

Cuts the price right down...

MarjorieAntrobus Tue 23-Apr-13 07:05:46

I'm with bisjo and startail. I went solo to open days thirty+ years ago, so I expected that my DCs would go solo too, so they did. I felt I would cramp their style if I went along too. I would end up doing all the talking, and they'd feel like little tagalongs though I hear that, these days, many open days split the group into parents on the one side and potential students on the other, and give the two groups different tours and talks. Anyway my prehistoric experience of the process was that parents did not go.

Buy a railcard. V useful.

MarjorieAntrobus Tue 23-Apr-13 07:08:18

X posts with MrsH.

It's about encouraging independence I feel, letting them do this by themselves, I mean. The journey, the finding-of-the-campus, the surviving for a day with strangers. It is good for them to do this without help.

AtYourCervix Tue 23-Apr-13 07:12:04


tumbletumble Tue 23-Apr-13 07:13:49

Does she have any friends going to the same one? You might feel better if she's with someone, even if it's not you?

MrsHoarder Tue 23-Apr-13 07:18:57

Geography is way to find and if she's unsure every university building has a security guard/porter who is happy to give directions. Not that I have no sense of direction

And yrs its about independence. She might move there fairly soon, she should cope with a day trip.

noddyholder Tue 23-Apr-13 07:20:42

All parents I know went Our son is very independent but wanted us to come HTH

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