Perpetrators of domestic abuse destroy lives. I had lived in terror and pain because of my perpetrator, but a refuge saved my life, and the lives of my four children.
Two women a week, on average, are killed by a partner or ex-partner in England and Wales. Domestic abuse needs to be at the top of political conversation and the Government must listen to survivors to get the truth of how we have to live to survive.
There is a common misconception that refuges just provide shelter – but they are so much more than just a safe place for a night or two. Refuges provide a specialist service to help you recover and rebuild – and make you and your children smile again. The staff are highly trained, and they can support you with compassion and understanding. Because, when you go into a refuge, it is the most dangerous time for you.
My children and I were forced into refuges by my ex. I have buried two sons because of him. One was lost to a violent physical assault when I was pregnant. My eldest son, Daniel, committed suicide.
A proposed new funding model for supported housing puts the future of domestic abuse refuges on shaky ground. Last month, Women’s Aid revealed that refuges could be forced to close under plans for a new system where refuge funding is included in a model for all supported housing. The new model lists specialist domestic abuse refuges as 'short-term accommodation' and brings back the Local Housing Allowance (LHA) cap for refuges too. As proposals stand, the new funding model ignores the specialist nature of refuge services for women and children, and could force many to close. Women's Aid is calling instead for a specific funding model for refuges and permanent exemption from changes to the LHA cap.
We need to protect the long-term future of refuges because there is nothing else out there to fill the gap they would leave if they were gone. A refuge gives the victims of abuse the security they need to breathe, to rebuild and move on, and to process their trauma.
Until we see increased investment go into the prevention of domestic abuse, there will continue to be a need for refuges. Victims will continue to need a safe place to run, they will continue to need domestic abuse services that pick up the pieces. They will continue to need the services provided by organisations such as Women's Aid.
Guest posts
Guest post: "We need to protect the long-term future of refuges"
LauraMumsnet · 22/02/2017 15:57
Your story is absolutely horrific and has made me cry. So sorry about all you went through OP and for your poor sons and your family 
I didn't know about this new rule and will definitely write to my MP about it. Thank you so much for bringing it to our attention. I'm speaking as a survivor of domestic violence myself though luckily no children were involved.
Refuge too saved my life and the life of my child. Had we not fled, my ex partner would have killed me. A failed criminal trial and a succesful non-molestation order later, I'm now trying to piece life back together, hoping that he just leaves us alone.
PP is right in that Theresa May has been something of a champion for women's rights and ending violence against women and girls...indeed it is time to put her money where her mouth is.
to you all.
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