As we sit together, shaded from the midday heat, I tell 20-year-old Pili Paulo how overwhelming new motherhood was for me. How common it is for UK women to find it hard to adjust to sleepless nights, the weighty responsibility and sudden lack of time for yourself. I wonder if she feels the same adjusting to life with her month-old daughter. But she looks puzzled at the question, "I didn't have time for myself before I was a mother so it's not that different. I'm just happy my daughter is here and I'm ok."
We are in Mbiki village in the Shinyanga region of rural Tanzania. On that morning's long drive, I imagined women travelling along this endless dirt road while in labour, painfully jolting towards an unfamiliar hospital. All the while not knowing whether they or their babies would live to see the end of the journey. Things are changing though, with the help of Amref Health Africa, whose projects I have come to see first-hand.
Amref Health Africa is Africa's leading health charity - saving and transforming lives in the poorest communities. A world that feels alien to me until six-month-old Clara topples over in exactly the way my babies would when learning to sit up. Then her mother Zena gives the baby her handbag to empty and phone to shake while we talk. I've done that too. When I ask about what women feel for their children I recognise the struggle to explain all that the answer contains. There are parts of this motherhood thing that we do share and then huge swathes I will never begin to understand.
Some birth stories I hear bear a striking resemblance to those of women I've worked with in the UK. Getting to hospital too early and being sent home. The kindness of midwives and the anxiety of partners. I meet a 17-year-old recovering on the postnatal ward three days after her caesarean. Her baby cries and she pulls down her dress and begins to latch the baby on. Two pairs of male hands shoot towards her to help. Before I know it I'm instinctively protecting her space, just as I would on a postnatal ward at home, and saying that it looks like she's doing pretty well on her own.
Tanzania has one of the worst maternal mortality rates in the world and across Africa a new mother dies every three minutes. Family planning is often viewed with suspicion - particularly by men. If a family's crops fail many will have no means of feeding themselves. Access to clean water is a pressing issue for many and some tribes practice FGM. Life appears tissue paper fragile. As I sit writing this, about 60 young African women have lost the chance to hold their babies. But the projects I visited are trying hard to stop this.
The projects take ill-equipped and understaffed local health centres and transform them in to safe places to give birth. Education projects compliment and support the work with community volunteers, local nurses and doctors working collaboratively to reach out to those nearby.
Amref Health Africa's upgrade of the health centre serving Mbiki means it now offers ultrasounds, provides caesarean sections, anaesthesia and a vital ambulance service. Instead of sending emergency cases four hours drive away, they can care for women in difficulty and stop them bleeding to death in transit. HIV clinics, laboratories, family planning and baby clinics are all now available on site.
This is changing the lives of women like 20-year-old Christina Paulo whose first baby, Johnson, was born by caesarean section a month before we meet. "I went through so much to have my baby but the nurses and doctors gave me such good support. I didn't feel scared. I knew I'd be fine here," she told me. Her caesarean scar had opened after she returned home. Without the facilities at nearby Uteshu she doesn't know how she would have survived the birth or whether she would have been able to afford the trip to hospital for repeat surgery.
But Christina and the mothers of Mbiki are still in the minority. We visit Lunguya village where it's a seven hour walk to the nearest health centre. Some women can't leave their families for a month to be safe and wait at the centre for labour to start. It's too late for some by the time their contractions begin. As we drive back through Lunguya schoolyard the little girls are smiling and waving - a bittersweet sight I'll never forget. I wonder how many will make it through the births of their children in ten years time, and know that without our support an unbearable number will not.
Photo: Joseph Were
This Mother's Day, Amref Health Africa is asking people to show solidarity with African mothers, whilst championing their own. To join the campaign, post a photo with your mother using the hashtag #savemothersday. View them at savemothersday.co.uk and visit Amref for more information.
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