I should have sought help for my mental health much earlier than I did. I'd convinced myself for years that I could cope, that I was okay, and that I really was the woman who always had a smile on my face. Last year, when I couldn't get out of bed and the tears refused to stop - I finally reached out.
If you had told me then that today I would be spearheading a campaign to raise mental health awareness, I'd have looked at you bewilderedly, turned over in bed and gone back to my incessant thoughts and seemingly endless tears. But it's true - I have begun something that has drawn people into conversation and allowed me to witness more bravery than I ever dreamed possible.
I have suffered with anxiety, panic attacks and OCD all my life. I had thoughts telling me that the people I loved would die if I didn't do a certain thing, think a certain thought or say a certain prayer. My panic attacks that would make me believe my heart was exploding and made me push away those I loved the most.
Last year, it reached a climax and to put it bluntly, floored me for approximately six to eight months. The problem with mental illness is that it's often only when you hit rock bottom that you seek help and begin to open up about it - because you have no other choice. Roughly one million people per year take their own lives. We have to reach people sooner.
I began the #itaffectsme campaign with the intention of giving people suffering with mental illness, and their friends and family, a voice. The campaign aims to reduce the stigma around mental health - because it does add to people's fear of speaking out. We should all be able to say "I have a mental illness" without being scared of the response.
The campaign encourages people to be open and honest. I am asking people to take a selfie with a post-it note on their head which says "#itaffectsme" on it. #itaffectsme is a simple declaration - stating that we have all known or will know mental illness in our lives. It might affect us, or family, or friends, or a stranger in the street. But the selfie puts faces to mental illness - we are not anonymous, and we are not embarrassed. Mental illness has no prejudices about who it affects, so we should have no prejudices about it.
The courage of people speaking out has struck me repeatedly. The first woman to contact me directly told me she was suffering with post-natal depression and that #itaffectsme had allowed her to speak to her husband about it for the first time. If this campaign has helped just one person to reach out then it is worth every single tear I have shed.
The three aims of the campaign are to get people talking, to get mental health education on the curriculum and to make the Prime Minister stick to his £1 billion pledge to mental health services. The government cut funding by £35 million last year, despite promises not to, and it is simply not good enough.
Though sticking a post-it note on your head may seem simple, there is bravery in acknowledging mental illness. But this is just the first step. The second is seeking help and the subsequent steps - accepting help and going through the process - can be very difficult, even with the support of family.
When I was at my lowest, what would have helped was for someone to be there and to say "Me too." That's what #itaffectsme is. It is the "me too" for everyone suffering, a reminder that you're not alone, and that if you speak out and get help it can pass and you can arm yourself for the future. You can be prepared to greet it like an old friend who you have history with but nothing in common any more, accept its presence and then when the time comes - because it will - send it on its way.
None of us are fixed, none of us are perfect but if we speak out we can let the rest of the world know that it is okay to do so. It is okay to not be okay.
#itaffectsme: Help us spread the word!
Text SUPPORT to 70660 to give £3 to Mind.
4 February is Time to Talk day - you can find out more here.
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Guest post: "We need to ask for help with mental health, before we hit rock bottom"
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MumsnetGuestPosts · 29/01/2016 10:18
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