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Working mums - when do you find time.......................................

(76 Posts)
mandymoo Sat 06-Aug-05 16:16:10

to:

give your child/ren your undivided attention
exercise
rest
have "you" time
do the housework

I work 3 days a week and just cant see how i can do everything i want.

Gobbledigook Sat 06-Aug-05 16:17:42

It's very difficult to many of these things even if you are a SAHM. You can do housework and give children attention but that's about it. No time for yourself whatsoever.

hercules Sat 06-Aug-05 16:18:00

Days off or holidays (lots of these as teacher}
no time
ha ha
late evening
late evening

Blackduck Sat 06-Aug-05 16:18:02

I work F-T.
Undivided attention - first thing in the morning/last thing at night
exercise - I walk part of the way to work
rest - ha!
'you' time - what's that?
housework - weekends...

mandymoo Sat 06-Aug-05 16:20:30

Sorry, wasnt trying to just single out working mums. I have been a SAHM and know what a hard job that is too. Just wondered if anyone had any brilliant ideas for doing everything brilliantly and still have time to sit down and rest!! Just a shot in the dark!!!

Gobbledigook Sat 06-Aug-05 16:21:42

I don't think any mother rests whatever she does. Everything is a compromise and whether you work FT, PT or not at all, there's not going to be time for yourself for a veeeery long time!!

lucy5 Sat 06-Aug-05 16:35:04

Im working full time at the moment and hate it, I never have time for anything, even if I had the time I havent got the energy. Ive just reduced my hours for when I go back in sptember, im hoping it will give me half an hour a day on my own. I am the sort of person who needs to be by meslf sometimes and this very rarely happens. Last term I actually snuck off a couple of afternoons when I was supposed to be doing paperwork as I thought I was going to explode if I had to talk to another person, it was lovely. I get long hols but so does dd, aaagghh. It never works in my favour when we have different hols, shes always off when im at school and not the other way around. Sorry rant over. oh no, dh is now going to be working longer hours so ill be doing a full day and then doing childcare on my own morning and evening, aaaggghhh! rant really over now.

Tortington Sat 06-Aug-05 17:03:23

i rarely give each of mine undivided attention. they rarely want it as teenagers however i cant do it so theres no point in bitching about not having done it as i have no choice but to work.
i go on bike rides of a weekend with one of my kids - whoever has a working bike on the day. walk to shop with dh occasionally and walk back from pub on weekend
rest - i get a full 8 hours most nights.
most days get to slob in front of telly or on mumsnet for a couple of hours
housework gets done maybe 2 or 3 times a week. thats downstairs only - stairs bathroom toilet get done only once a week, bedrooms get tidied by the owner of said room about once a month.
theres always something better to do - like go on mumsnet meet up s and get uncouthly drunk

goldenoldie Tue 09-Aug-05 07:29:17

Children attention = 6 - 8pm, and time at weekends
Exercise = lunchtimes at work, couple of times a week
Rest = in bed by 9.30/10pm
Me time = in bed by 9.30/10pm - chance to do nothing/watch TV or paint toenails/read/whatever.
housework = cleaner, I have no time or interest to do this.

bloss Tue 09-Aug-05 07:45:02

Message withdrawn

acnebride Tue 09-Aug-05 09:02:10

Child undivided attention; depends if you include stuff like getting them dressed. If not, then about 30 minutes split between the morning and the evening.

Exercise: sometimes go to a Women's Running Network group on Weds evenings. Now have joined a rowing club with DH. You need something where other people are expecting you to turn up IMO.

rest: dh puts ds to bed 2 or 3 times a week.

Me time: getting out of the house in the evenings plus Sat lie in

Housework: Place is a complete scumhole and tip. When I have visitors I spend 30 minutes cleaning like mad beforehand.

marialuisa Tue 09-Aug-05 09:11:12

kids-mornings, evenings, weekends
rest-early to bed, evenings, weekends
exercise-occasionally at lunch time
"me time"-evenings, weekends
housework-cleaner

ssd Tue 09-Aug-05 09:20:12

acnebride, surely you get to see your kids more than 30 minutes a day?

or am I reading that wrong?

colditz Tue 09-Aug-05 10:16:58

i employ time saving methods such as

1) Never putting any clothes away, ever. Our wardrobes are empty. It's all on the kitchen table. We don't iron either.

2) Not allowing myself to get too precious about who eats what and where it came from.

3) Instead of doing housework, we simply announce that we were just about to, whenever someone comes to the door.

4) Having a dishwasher is fab. I had to choose between it and a bedroom carpet

Tinker Tue 09-Aug-05 10:21:45

give your child/ren your undivided attention - um, don't know yet.

exercise - don't bother.

rest - see above (as in, don't exercise therefore I rest)

have "you" time - bath each night usually

do the housework - see exercise

FairyMum Tue 09-Aug-05 10:25:41

I employ a cleaner which might seem a luxury, but if you can afford it it's SO worth it. It frees up so much time where you can be with your children.
I do excerise and clothes shopping in my lunch break and order groceries online.
I have "me" time after the children have gone to bed and once in the blue moon me or DH have a day off each at the weekend to just do what we want while the other one takes care of the children.
I also try to do things I have to do in the house with my children and we always cook together.

Blu Tue 09-Aug-05 10:28:21

LOL Colditz. I employ some similiar measures - and never, ever iron. I work f/t and as for mandymoo's list:
child/ren your undivided attention : for about an hour every morning, and two houres at night, 3 nights a week. I work flexi, so have one week day a fortnight at home with him too. Otherwise, dawn - dusk at weekends.
exercise - no. Used to go to gym 3 times a week, pre DS. Now, never.
rest- 7 hours sleep, usually. No other actual rest time.
have "you" time - have occasional evening social engagements, but tbh, even fitting in time to catch up with friends begins to seem like a pressure.
do the housework - 10 mins here and there in the mornings or at w/e. Cleaner for 4 hours once a week.

handlemecarefully Tue 09-Aug-05 10:30:19

I also work 3 days per week. My children are 1 and 3.

give your children your undivided attention: more so at the weekends when dh is there. A bit of undivided attention at bedtime during books reading. Partial attention at other times - but sure that is the same for SAHMs?
exercise : go for a run during one of my lunch breaks at work, book children into gym creche for 1.5 hours on Thursdays, and also go once at the weekend
rest: no resting other than when in bed (from circa 23.00 / 00.00 until 06.00 / 07.00)
have "you" time: between 21.45 and 23.00 (after children have gone to bed and I have finished the 'chores'), and occasionally a half day at the weekend when dh takes them. About once every 3 weeks my SIL babysits and we go out for an evening which is nice.
do the housework: despite having a cleaner twice per week I still have loads of housework to do which I tackle betwen 20.30 and 21.45 most evenings - and my house is still a bit grubby (big house so lots to keep on top of)

Mum2girls Tue 09-Aug-05 10:31:57

give your child/ren your undivided attention
mornings and evenings and w/ends

exercise
I am a lard arse

rest
when I sleep

have "you" time
que?

do the housework
when the kids are in bed and I have a cleaner for 3 hrs a week.

acnebride Tue 09-Aug-05 10:32:40

Oh yes, ssd, I only work 20 hours a week so I am with ds for approx 80 waking hours a week (worked it out last night...) I just mean truly undivided attention; sitting on the floor/at the table with ds, talking to him and concentrating on him. Not changing his nappy, feeding him, brushing his teeth, dressing/undressing him, doing housework while occasionally saying 'that's lovely darling', reading a book while he plays, talking to friends, walking in the pushchair, on the phone etc.

30 mins a day probably is an understatement but I don't think by much.

handlemecarefully Tue 09-Aug-05 10:33:48

Working however is great for mumsnetting. I rarely get around to logging on Thursday - Sunday when at home!

acnebride Tue 09-Aug-05 10:34:51

to be fair to myself, weekends would be a lot more. I really try for Shabbat to concentrate on him and not do housework and all that. but my God it makes for a hard day of rest! He definitely responds to it though.

handlemecarefully Tue 09-Aug-05 10:36:48

Actually not being able to give my children undivided attention is a worry for me. But I think it's more about their ages (1&3) - for instance it is hard to help dd with a floor puzzle since this sort of activity does not seem compatible with having a 16month old rampaging around and destroying everything. Same with baking, play dough etc - activities youngest can't fully participate in but destroys for the older one.

dropinthe Tue 09-Aug-05 10:37:47

I'm in the same boat HM-can't even read the eldest a story without the youngest sreaming the house down for attention.

TracyK Tue 09-Aug-05 10:38:46

I work 5 mornings a week - but ds gets my undivided attention from 6 - 6.30am and then he plays around me while I get ready for work 6.30-7.30. Then half hour for breakfast.
I get me time while he naps 1-2.30 and/or housework. then he gets undivided att. 2.30-7.30pm. Me time/housework 7.30 till 10pm, well not much housework! have started a new regime - look at www.flylady.com. Must make bed and have clean shiny kitchen sink before leaving house.
Sleep 10-6am.
Unfortunately no exercise done here!

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