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Bored at home but unsure about going back to work...(10 Posts)
I'm feeling bored at home but unsure about going back to work. DS is 5 mths and I've been off work over 6 mths now. I had intended to become a SAHM but I'm having doubts.
I'm not sure if it's just a phase - friends on holiday etc. Most people I know are going back to work and I don't know who I'll hang out with when they do. DH works long hours then goes to the gym/out at least two evenings.
I don't think I want to go back to my old job, I don't want to work full time. How easy is it to get a part-time job making more than the childcare costs?
I was considering doing a language course approx 5 hours a week but that means no income and having to pay for childcare. We can do it but I'm not that keen on the course.
What should I do??
it is a hard decision to make. It can be very isolating being a sahm but then u could also look on meet up threads by u and make some new friends who are sahm. It really does depend what is best for u and ds. Finding part time work to cover nursery costs can be quite difficult but sometimes even if u are only coming home with £20 for yourself it can be worth it for your sanity. I found transition from full time work to sahm very hard but now i enjoy it.
meant to say i think its easier as my ds is a lot more interactive now as he is 21mths and in past year i can do more with him iykwim. Although am due no.2 in dec so will let u know if sanity continues then.
I so agree with you nemo - dd is 21 mths too and we have loads more fun now. When she was younger i used to get really down and bored, but now we go out alot, even to the park on our own for a picnic. Sometimes i still get fed up, but at least now she is at the stage where i can open the door and she will charge round the gardenon her own and give me some space.
And i too thought about doing a course, but decided i really wasn't in the right frame of mind to put more pressure on me.
I haven't really given you any advice on what to do at the moment - sorry!
fee glad im not the only one to let my toddler run riot in the garden for peace of mind.
Being a SAHM can be great but you definitely have to work at it. I've been one for nearly 6 years now and I've learned that having a really good network of friends is crucial. As we've moved around quite a bit during the last few years I've had to do this a couple of times. The key point is to get to know people that you would be friends with even if you didn't have children - I can bear to sit and talk about my children all day ! I've been to loads of mother and toddler groups over the last few years due to all this moving and have found that they drastically differ, it's important to try a few and see what you want. Also don't expect people to be friends with you immediately, it takes a good few months to feel really at home with a new group ( or maybe that's just me !) and don't appear too desperate as it's off putting. Get the right group of people and it really can be good - I've been handed a list of events that one of the girls from my toddler group has organised during the summer, so no stress over sorting out things.
I agree with the others, it is much easier when they become toddlers. I personally find the first year very hard going. However, I don't think being a SAHM suits everyone and it is worth having a think about what part-time work or courses you can do. But I would give it a bit longer before you make a decision.
I started to feel a bit down at home when my ds was about 6 months. Because I knew I would be going back to work I hadn't made much effort to meet other mums. I went back to work part-time when my son was 7 and a half months and I really felt I got the best of both worlds. But when my ds was 14 months dh lost his job and I had to go back to work full-time. I felt guilty and exhausted but needs must at the time. I am now on maternity leave with my second child and am determined to only go back part-time. Being a sahm wasn't for me but full-time work outside the home wasn't for me either. Re childcare I think you have to look around as prices really vary - we got a discount for paying upfront.
I work 5 mornings a week and ds goes to nusery. I get paid normal wages - but also get £267 a month tax free towards my nursery fees. You could find a p/t job that would offer you this maybe?
My ds went to nursery at about 6 mo for 2 afternoons a week ad slowly increased it to the 5 mornings by 10mo. He really loves it and gets loads of play and socialisation with other kids and he can go trash the nursery rather than my lounge!
Thanks for your comments
I managed to speak to some new faces at playgroup this week and I've made some more enquiries about the language course.
I might give that a go starting in Sept and see how I feel with DS in nursery for those hours.
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