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dd ill after less than 2 weeks at nursery. Me feeling crap at motherhood & crap at my job!

(11 Posts)
northender Tue 05-Jul-05 20:42:22

I was really enjoying being back at work (3 days a week)and thought we were doing really well managing almost 2 weeks with no illnesses, then got the dreaded phonecall saying she was unwell, had to drop everything at work to get her. She is still not right (4 days later) so dh and I have been sharing looking after her both working reduced hours. This means I'm just not able to get to grips with my work and although they're being really flexible to help me out I feel I'm letting people down.
I know from my experience with ds that it does get better once their immune system builds up but it is just so stressful getting to that point and I've been in tears at work more than once this week!
I want to be all things to everyone but can't! I'm not the only one am I?

nooka Tue 05-Jul-05 20:57:24

Don't worry! It happenes. If your work is OK with it, then don't get stressed I'm sure that there are other parents you work with, who will sympathise. I'm sure that she will soon get better, although some children get more illnesses than others (or at least some go for being iller - dd always lets us know when she's not well, ds is very stoic). Don't feel it's your fault!

Katemum Tue 05-Jul-05 21:00:10

Think it happens to most of us when they start nursery, certainly did with both of mine. Just hang on in there and be glad that work are being so flexible. It will get better.

Chuffed Wed 06-Jul-05 12:20:35

northender this happened on when dd started nursery then again when she went up to the next room. If any of your managers have had kids they will know that this happens.
I know it is hard but try to 'apply' yourself when you are at work 100% as your dd is with your dh.

Groggymama Wed 06-Jul-05 12:36:34

you're not crap, you're doing the very best you can and its not easy to be at work when you've got a poorly child, hopefully everyone will understand that.

LittleStarsweeper Wed 06-Jul-05 12:48:07

Oh you poor thing. Hey its only work, stop thinking about what they think. Its not like you are skiving is it. There is one thing you know you will get from a Nursery and that is illness. They pass it around like wildfire, endless bubble noses, coughs and wheezes. I swear by the omega 3 syrup from Boots. Could be a complete coincidence but my DS hasnt had a sniffle since we have been giving him 2 spoonfuls a day.

Azure Wed 06-Jul-05 13:18:15

This happened to be - in my first month back at work I was off for about a week with DS getting various illnesses. It's difficult not to feel bad about work, but there isn't much you can do, and at least work can see that your DH is helping out too. It will get better, honestly.

cacaboo Wed 06-Jul-05 13:58:52

It happened to us too - on day 2 back at work. DH and I took off alternate days until he was well enough to go back again.

Also happened to a friend, whose child got chicken pox one week after she went back.

As time has gone on, we've had fewer problems with illnesses where DS can't go to nursery. There have been days where he's been distinctly off-colour and I've wondered if he's well enough, but have tended to put him in anyway and usually he's been absolutely fine.

I did find it a bit embarrassing at first, especially having just gone back to work and wanting to pull my weight there, but there's nothing much that can be done about it, really! I did wonder if there is any laws in place to protect employees in this situation.

edam Wed 06-Jul-05 14:07:47

IIRC you are entitled to time off to care for dependents but I don't think employers have to pay you for it - although many do. Some let you choose between using up holiday and going unpaid. Some have a limit of paid days and then you go unpaid.
Happpened to me to with ds - really stressful so I do sympathise. It does become more infrequent with time!

tew Wed 06-Jul-05 15:03:37

Exactly the same thing happened with me, and I felt that I wasn't doing anything right. Promise it only lasts for about 3 weeks, and in the longterm much better for the baby.

Just don't do what I did, and get pregnant immediately after going back to work!!

northender Wed 06-Jul-05 19:57:37

Thanks for all the support, I am lucky with my work and no-one else is making me feel bad about it at work, that is just coming from me. Might well give the omega 3 syrup a try, have just started ds on capsules. What age can you start the syrup? Tew, my stress levels would be sky high if I found I was pregnant!
I am feeling better about things today, could be to do with the fact that Wed and Thurs are my normal days off. Unfortunately dd isn't any better today, hopefully she'll pick up by Friday!!

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