Is it beneficial for children to have a working mum?(8 Posts)
Going back to work PT in 2 months - DS will be 11 months. Got to go back for financial reasons and I know all the sensible benefits for me (money, pension, future career, life outside home etc) but at the moment really, really want to be a SAHM.
Since I can't be, I want to know whether it will have benefits for my DS for me to work (besides opportunities from extra money). Being parted from me will be hard for him, I imagine. But will having another carer be enriching? What do you think?
What are the benefits for the child of having working parents?
Good role modelling, demonstrates good work ethic, teaches them early about the concept of working for money and benefits that will bring. Gives them the opportunity to mix socially from a young age, they will develop socially and hopefully vocally well. Depends on what childcare you're using but for me my childminder's family is like my dd's second family, childminder's chldren are like their older siblings and I know my eldest gets a lot from her relationship with them.
Also, they get hopefully a happy mummy. No point you being a SAHM if you're worried about every penny and can't afford to take them out anywhere or even feed, cloth, home them properly.
Plus you're going back part-time so get the best of both worlds, money and time with little one.
He'll be fine, will learn to mix with other children (will probably catch every illness under the sun - my 18m certainly is) and will appreciate you far more. Good luck, you'll be fine.
You will be working part time, as long as you choose a nursery/child care where he is well cared for and staff doesn't change continuously, he should be fine.
I agree with everything Indiechick has said but would also like to add that my mother worked since as early as I can remember and at the time most mums didn't. As a child I considered her a remarkable intelligent woman, who was strong enough to deal with whatever life threw at her. She was a very good role model and much of what I am now, I am because I was following her steps. It also showed me that men and women are equal in terms of rights or being able to carry out certain tasks at home.
My mom worked part time when I was quite young. It made me aware that it was possible- most moms didn't around me. Sometimes I felt I missed out on things that other kids had but I also got lots of opportunities others didn't. I got to do some work at her office and the employers were then able to be a referee for me later when I needed one starting out in life. My dad did a lot of the cooking and child care, school runs etc. (he worked for himself so that was all possible) I certainly didn't resent her working and it made her a happier person to be out doing her own thing. I work myself and think she showed me a way that opened up possibilites.
It's good for dcs to have a happy, fulfilled mother. If working gives you that then work, if staying at home gives you that then sahm is the best role for you. Simplistic, I know, but speaking as someone who has struggled with this (I wish I worked more than I do) I really feel that's what it comes down to.
Mothers have always worked, there was a very brief period in history after the wars where it suited the powers that be to encourage women to be housewife's, quite a lot of them put their heads in gas ovens, drank and were ganerally very depressed. I consider part time working to be fantastic but realistically full time employment is just business as usual.
My mum always worked when I was growing up (sort of part-time- 3/4 time). She's a doctor. However, I hated it. I hated having to go to childminders etc. I hated it that she wasn't there when we came home from school, that she was always tired and grumpy etc. I was always envious of my friends whose mums were always at home and able to do lots of nice activities with them. I think this experience has made me see the value of being at home with the dc's.
However when ds was 6months I went back to work PT and he LOVED his nursery so much that I felt bad taking him out when dd1 was on her way and I stopped working. FWIW I never thought we could afford for me to stop working but we have managed and I still do lots with the dc's even though money is tight.
I think it can work well either way just as it can be a negative experience either way. You have to find a balance that works for you and that you and dh are happy with.
Swings and roundabouts.
I was at home for a couple of years after my first child was born. It was good for him - he got me 24/7 - and good for me - I got to find my feet as a mum.
But I got bored...and skint (!) and went back to work when my second child was 5 mths old. It's been good in a different way. I have loads more energy and am more organised, I feel more fulfilled and pretty bloody proud of myself for juggling it all. I love my job and have great children - both crucial. And of course, I am back on track with my career and have got more financial security.
Go with your instincts as far as you are able to financially/practically. Nothing has to be forever. If working is a nightmare, you can reconsider. Ditto with being a SAHM.
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