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Don't want to go back!!! she's not even 3months yet

(3 Posts)
avariceandlatinos Fri 02-Oct-09 23:09:06

Am i overreacting? Will she thrive? I'm worried i'll stunt her development and she'll be deprived of cuddles without me!
Don't know what to do, my university said i can have 6 months off, so when i go back dd will be 8months and in childcare 4 days full time, otherwise she goes in now at 3 months. I'm very goal orientated, but i never thought i'd be so devestated or sentimental about leaving my 3month old in almost full-time childcare! (if i had family around i'd not be upset but it's not a reality unless i up and go with dd and leave my dp for 6 months.)
Fact is, i'm pressured into going back to study by my family and dp because they all think i won't do it if i take the time out and that really hurts me and makes me want to do it, especially because they were very disaproving of my having a baby until i assured them (including dp who wanted a termination) that i would finish studying asap and start earning. To be frank i know my partner will lose a bit of respect for me if i don't do it because i spent way too many years unemployed already, switching jobs etc, so completing my degree is for myself, my child and my family, but...i don't want to put dd in childcare yet!!
People tell me, this way there won't be any seperation anxiety, but there are so many things i want to do and teach her, i don't plan on any more children so this time is even more precious.

If i took the time off, to keep my sanity and look like i was keeping busy i'd need something to get me out the house early in the morning at least four times a week, with dd, can't think of anything can you? sigh i can't even drive.

Kiran25 Sat 03-Oct-09 17:25:55

I share your anxiety :P

My son just turned 3 months today. Before he was born i was so sure i will be going back to work in 4 months time.

BUT now, I am wishing i can stay with him till he turns 1.

Could get him into a childcare but i have this feeling that no one can look after him the way i can and i really dont want to leave him with anyone else

Take the 6 months off and spend it with the bubba, and then go back to uni.

I am guessing there will be be some separation anxiety but u have had quality time wit bubba plus your doing your Uni course for yours bubba's future .

Lock and load, it will only get better

NanaNina Thu 08-Oct-09 00:59:01

Oh avarice - follow your instincts and stay at home with your baby - she is only 3 months old for god's sake. why are you having to do something that you really don't want to do because of what others think. You have the rest of your life to go to uni or do whatever. This time is precious and the greatest thing you can do for your baby is give her your time and attention and it will stand her in good stead for the rest of her life. What could be more important than that.

why do you need to get out of the house for 4 mornings per week with your baby - sorry is this to appease your partner or what? read the book "Why Love Matters" by Sue Gerhardt and this might influence you to follow your instincts. Could you not childmind another child to enable you to afford to stay at home?

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